AIBU to think my salad needs exorcising?

[TheBoyWhoWouldntHoeCorn]

I can't eat it can I?

I'd call a priest, quick

The Mummy Returns Again. . .

Are you sure it's not Jim Carrey in The Mask? See if it will tell you a joke.

Lol for a minute there I thought it read 'exercising' and was imagining a limp lettuce going for a very slow jog around the park!!!!

Burn it. Then say a shit load of hail Mary's

Holy water. Yer only man for this job.

normally stuff like these means you spend ages wondering what you're supposed to be looking at ....

but this is brilliant!

Burn it & get chips

Ginger

It's brilliant slim if it's not your salad that's evil

that is funny, I'd get the priest and the holy water on it, or burn it and get chips as iklboo suggested if you do that be sure to scatter said salad ashes on holy ground.

ah, it's okay OP
this salad could be the making of your finances, I'm sure papers will pay for "EVIL found in salad - town terrified" or some such.

Get the priest to bring the chips on his way round

iklboo

We have no priest round here but we do have a vicar called Sharon, will she do?

Sharon will do what she can, I'm sure ...but do you really believe that the DEVIL CELERY can be beaten by a mere vicar?

(sorry that probably isn't celery)

I would burn it but I fear I would look more than a little unhinged if the neighbours saw me standing out in the pissing rain trying to set fire to a small piece of devilish avocado

mind you it might mean I get to be incarcerated somewhere away from my demanding crazy bickering children for part of the holidays, swings and roundabouts

Devilcado

oh it's devilcado

I think you should preserve it in a jar, it's cool.

Devilcado indeed

I'm wondering if it's a sign to stay away from avocado henceforth the fuckers are usually either rock hard or brown and slimy whenever I peel them anyway

not a fan of avocado

I was a fan of Desperate Housewives so now I can hear Tom and Ed saying "do not eat the cheese! The cheese is evil!"

I reckon the carrots could take him down.

I think that's classed as a warning and you should eat cake

I am taking your advice abbs Makes perfect sense

Always eat pie and chips. No probs with leering there