Nanny disagreeing over dropping DDs nap. AIBU?

[K1092902]

DD is 3yrs 3 months. She is starting pre school in September 3 days a week and unlike nursery won't get a nap in the middle of the day so the way I see it- we have the summer holidays to knock it on the head.

She wakes at 7am, has a nap at 2pm until 2.45/3 and goes to bed at 7.30.

Nanny is disagreeing over dropping her nap. I understand it's the only time she gets to have a bit of a breather and sit in the quiet for a bit- but surely she should be siding with us on this??

I brought it up with her this morning and explained that we have implemented it for a few days and DD while she is a little grumpy towards the end of the day seems to be coping OK.

I'm going to pop home at 2pm to make sure she isn't having a nap.

AIBU?

Why is she disagreeing? If just to get a break, Yanbu.

What reason did nanny give - is it the break it gives her?

No. She can give her opinion but ultimately she works for you.

But surely when she starts nursery she'll be too busy to nap and it'll just work it's self out.

She is your employee looking after your child. She does what you say!

Does the nanny work a long day without a break otherwise? Can you factor a break in another way eg. 30 minutes TV time after lunch?

This is a reasonable instruction. The parents have made a parenting choice, it's not a nannys place to disagree.

No one is saying she can't disagree. But the OP makes the final decision.

God I wish my children napped until they were 3!! It's gone by 18 months here

#missingthepoint

Both mine stopped napping at 2 and a half and the youngest at just gone 2. I was gutted!!

I'm surprised the nursery don't have an informal nap zone for any little ones who run out of petrol after lunch. In reception (so four year olds) there was a play house with a big cushion. The three youngest, all July and August birthdays, regularly used to drop off in there for the first term or so.

Personally I would see how pre school goes. She could find it so tiring that quite frankly you put yourself through the hassle of dropping the nap only for her to start falling asleep again.

Both nine dropped the nap just after 2 but that was because it was affecting them going to sleep of an evening. Of yours is still fine I wouldn't worry too much.

Having said that she's quite old for napping so the nanny has had alot of "bonus time" with the afternoon break so shouldn't really be complaining.

She should be doing as asked unless she has some kind of welfare concern which she hasn't.

If you have a professional, experienced nanny I think it would be wise to consider her advice and hear her reasoning. If it is just that she wants a break then YANBU to insist it's done your way.

But surely when she starts nursery she'll be too busy to nap and it'll just work it's self out.

This. Why all the prep needed? Just let her nap for now and she'll miss it on pre-school days. You might find she then still needs it of a weekend.

Most children even tiny ones are ok with having a different routine for nursery or home days.

What is the nanny's reasoning? If it's so she can have a break the next YANBU but if it's because she feels your DD isn't ready to drop her nap then I think you should take that into consideration. Ultimately your decision, though.

I'd suggest naps every other day/every few days? Mine doesn't need a nap every day; she still naps at nursery (4 days) but not at home. If we go on holiday and she doesn't nap for more than 3 days in a row she's a mess (obviously we do try to encourage her to nap but it doesn't always work!)

When DD started dropping naps she used to conk out later and later in the day. The later she slept the more cranky she was when she woke up.

I just thought I would mention this because this is what might happen.

Incidentally DD dropped her naps when she was 2.

It depends why she's disagreeing.
If it's because she wants a break, yes sibu.

But actually if she's waking at 7, going to bed at 7:30 with no problems, then I suspect she may need the nap still. Dd1 napped until she went to school (winter baby too, so nearly 5yo) and needed that brief nap in the afternoon. My second one had dropped naps by 18 months, and ds napped until about 2.5yo. They all dropped it in their own time except dd1, and she found school so exciting that she didn't notice it. But she did go to bed at 4:30 (and need to be woken at 8:30am) for the last week of the first half term)

What hours will she be at pre-school?

As the employer and parent, you get to have the final say. However, I'm with the nanny on this one. A child does not need to be trained to drop a nap. If a child needs a nap, then they need a nap. You do them no favours by forcing them to stay awake.

One of my dc was still napping regularly until half way through Y1. It was what they needed. They went from napping most days straight into full-time school. Some of their classmates would have to be woken at 3.15 to be brought out to their parents. Mine stayed awake until we got home. Some days they would then have a short nap, no more than 45mins, most days not. Weekends they would have a full 2h nap in the afternoon.

Another of my dc went from regular naps straight into full-time school, and dropped all naps straight away, but instead went to bed earlier.

What's wrong with the nanny wanting a break though? The vast majority of employees get a break if they work over 6 hours and nannies often work 10-12. I know legally you don't have to allow domestic servants to have a break but I also think its reasonable to try to accommodate that if you can.

If you are doing a gradual drop then let her nap on Nanny days and not nap on your days. Ds is 2y9m and only naps every 4 or 5 days but he couldnt go without permanently yet

Your dd is far more likely to nap the days she doesn't go to preschool tbh because she'll be extra tired. My dd is 9. She has absolutely bags of energy but even she had a nap between 4 and 5 yesterday as she's doing a full on activity all week.

I really think you're overthinking this one. Your nanny will know this.