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AIBU?

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Original poster

To have had enough of this

35 replies

Youvegotafriendinme · 27/07/2017 01:28

I've posted in sleep but Posting here for traffic.

I've had enough of night times with My 8mo DS. I can not take any more.
The screaming and crying is relentless and nothing stops him. This has been going on for over 2 weeks now. He wakes any where between 12 and 3 and once awake just screams for hours on end. We have literally tried every thing.
Offered milk, bottle, teething gel, calpol as a last resort as teething, picking up, brought to our bed, CC, etc etc
He has 3 meals a day and eats well, he has roughly 22oz a day
3 hours of naps
Isn't over tired or over stimulated before bed.

Me and DH are at each other's throats because of it.

Please can someone help us.

OP posts:
toffeeboffin · 27/07/2017 01:31

Not much advice op, juts a handhold as it's sounds like you're having a terrible time.

What time are you putting him to bed?

Also,, what's changed in the last two weeks. Is he hot maybe?

LanaDReye · 27/07/2017 01:32

I ended up doing controlled crying and pillow over ear (when everything else was tried and I knew DCs just tired). It worked but was still hard work. Often they would fall asleep but I would then keep checking that they were asleep, so still didn't sleep.

WhatsGoingOnEh · 27/07/2017 01:32

Have you tried gripe water? It worked miracles when my DS1 got like this.

Original poster
Youvegotafriendinme · 27/07/2017 01:35

We start bed time at 7 so asleep by about 7:45. Last nap at 3:39/4.

I'm trying to do CC but 'D'H has just called me a cunt and a prick for doing so and has taking him off downstairs. He has never spoken to me like that before. I love my son more than anything but I can't keep doing this. I thought the 4 month regression was beyond hard, this is so much worse.

OP posts:
KinkyAfro · 27/07/2017 06:26

He called you a cunt and a prick? Bloody hell, that's awful

candypanda283 · 27/07/2017 06:31

What are his nap times and lengths?

LittleCharmer · 27/07/2017 06:47

Could you cut a nap? My DD never slept anything like three hours in the day after she was past about six months. If she had, she'd have been up half the night. Some kids don't need to nap that much.

snackarella · 27/07/2017 06:49

Only thing I can suggest is making sure you go to bed at 9 ish and get a few hours kip before he wakes. I've had a terrible sleeper since day one and only now at 18 months so I get any sleep. I feel your pain. I just used to go to bed ultra early. No life but it's better that the alternative. Good luck x

flumpybear · 27/07/2017 06:50

My HV told me to let cry for 30 seconds, comfort back to settled before leaving the room, if she cried again leave it a minute then repeat comforting back to settled, increasing by 30 seconds each time - fir us this worked

user1497480444 · 27/07/2017 06:50

it will pass. maybe he doesn't need the nap?

Original poster
Youvegotafriendinme · 27/07/2017 06:57

He will have his first nap approx 2.5 hours after waking then around 2 hours after that. He needs these naps, he shows all the tired signs so I don't think dropping to one nap will work for him yet. I usually have to wake him from his naps or he will sleep over 2 hours. He is always happy after his naps.

I go to bed at around 9 any way, if I went any earlier I wouldn't have time to eat dinner.

I do that method of cc if needed but with these night screaming thing it just doesn't work.

He finally went back to sleep at 2am only to wake up at 5am doing exactly the same thing. After 40 mins I got him back to sleep and he is awake again.

I feel sick I'm so tired and I'm just about done. I just wish I knew what it was because I hate to hear him screaming like this and I can't do anything to stop it. during the day he is a wonderfully happy little lad but this night time screaming is getting me down

OP posts:
HoofWankingSpangleCunt · 27/07/2017 06:57

Oh honey, you must be feeling dreadful. How awful to be spoken to like that. Is he supportive of you usually?
I have no useful advice to offer sorry. Except maybe visit a cranial osteopath. They worked wonders with my DS and his sleeping. Not everyone will agree but it worked for him.
I hope someone else can come along and be more constructive.
Oh and when you have recovered from the initial shock of being verbally abused, please make sure you tell your H that you won't tolerate being spoken to like that in any circumstances . Hopefully he had a lapse of judgement due to stress/sleep deprivation. If he isn''t normally like that then I'd put it down to a good man having a bad moment. Not that I'm excusing it mind you.

Writerwannabe83 · 27/07/2017 06:58

That's quite a late last nap OP
When my DS was that age he also had about three hours worth of naps a day (a morning nap and sn afternoon nap) and his last nap was 2pm-3.15pm and then he was in bed for 7.30pm and slept until 6am.

Is he in his own room?

I sleep trained ny DS at 9 months with CC because of how awful his sleep was. Me and DH were arguing constantly because we were both so tired so I know how that feels. The thing about CC is that it can be emotionally hard so both parents need to be on the same page regarding doing it so you have the support of each other. We had our son sleeping through within 3 to 4 nights of doing it.

If you want to discuss the CC approach I used then please message me privately and maybe I can give you some help Flowers

TroelsLovesSquinkies · 27/07/2017 07:08

I remember at that age putting Ds in the battery operated baby swing a few nights each week, for a couple of hours, it seemed to go on forever, but was really only about a month. It put him right back to sleep.

Happyland76 · 27/07/2017 07:12

Oh, I've been there, and it's so tough. At eight months, separation anxiety develops. If you brought him in with you or stayed with him would that help? That worked for us when it got hard. Everyone got more sleep. And no, it didn't mean they were in with us forevermore.

I wouldn't leave an eight month old to cry personally and if my husband tried to enforce it I wouldn't allow it. I hope I wouldn't speak to him like that but it depends if he was trying to stop me getting to my child! It's the tiredness talking - have a cup of tea together and if you can talk it through. It's really hard when you're so tired me have to face the whole day with an 8mo. Walking with the pram or carrier to the park, the ships, anywhere, really helped my mental health.

Flowers for you and Brew coffee.

HidingFromDD · 27/07/2017 07:12

Firstly, LanaDReye, I read that and thought 'surely you're in danger of suffocating them if you do that' Grin

Are you weaning him at the moment? If this is a marked change it sounds like it may be something he is now eating that's upsetting him, did you introduce anything new about the time this kicked off?

The other thing I'd keep an eye on is possible ear infections, especially as you say he's teething. My youngest had the first (of many) at about the same age and it presented in a similar way, although she was a little more miserable during the day, generally it was in the night that she'd get really distressed.

I think, as it's a sudden and marked change it may be worth having a chat with the GP/nurse.

Mummyoflittledragon · 27/07/2017 07:12

Not an expert at all but I think he's perhaps treating all his sleeps as naps and not as a whole night sleep iyswim. At that age, dd was awake between 6/7, quick 45ish min nap around 9/9.30. Then another nap after lunch. In bed for 7pm. She was still waking in night for a feed (b/f) but I stopped that shortly afterwards. Other people's kids slept at that age in the morning and in the afternoon, perhaps a little later than my dd. But never so late in the afternoon. Dd dropped her late afternoon nap when she was very little - she had 3 in the beginning.

I hope you manage to figure something out soon.

ticketytock1 · 27/07/2017 07:14

Can you consolidate his 2 naps into 1?
For example, give him lunch at 11:30 and let him sleep from 12-3?

I think his 2nd nap is a little late in the day. This pattern works really well for my son. We employed the help of a sleep consultant as it was so bad.. I've been where you are it's horrendous! It cost £200, we couldn't afford it but it was the best money spent ever!!!! Good luck x

Neolara · 27/07/2017 07:16

My ds was in terrible pain with teeth. Calpol didn't seem to work. Neurofen was much better. I'd try that and see if it makes a difference.

skerfuffled · 27/07/2017 07:26

My ds was like this, I know how it feels - hugs for you OP

We found that letting him nap for as long as he wanted (regardless of what time it was) really helped, for him. Sometimes he would nap for over 3 hours in the afternoon but strangely we found that the more sleep he got during the day or evening, the more settled he'd be at night. The only times he slept well were when he'd had a big nap quite close to bedtime!

Oh, and getting him to eat a banana in the evening seemed to help a bit too

MarcelineTheVampire · 27/07/2017 07:35

https://sarahockwell-smith.com/2017/07/24/the-rollercoaster-of-real-baby-sleep/

I found 8/9/10 months the hardest, as per the article. My DD was up every hour on the hour it was hell- it did get better though.

I couldn't do CIO so have no advice other than 'this too shall we pass' Flowers

Stressalot42 · 27/07/2017 10:21

Can you nap when he does? The house work really really can wait!

Don't be hard on yourself, sleep when you can.

FlowersBrewWine

MumsOnCrack · 27/07/2017 10:25

I don't have any advice but wanted to say I understand. I don't know if DH is normally rude to you, but sleep deprivation can cause people to say things they really don't mean Flowers

Original poster
Youvegotafriendinme · 27/07/2017 10:39

I've tried shorter nap in the morning, longer nap in the afternoon and vice verse and it doesn't make difference. I will defiantly try to make sure his second nap is finished by 3/3:30.

He is never even so much as rude to anyone. I feel like I can't help my son when he is crying like he does in the night and now my stress is pissing my DH that bad. I feel so alone with this. We (me and DS) had a horrible start, we have been through more than our fair share,We went through regression really bad, but this is beyond difficult.

I do offer him milk in the night after a while but he only has 1-2 oz so isn't hungry but now I'm worried I'm not feeding him right during the day

OP posts:
Writerwannabe83 · 27/07/2017 11:37

I would imagine if he's not feeding overnight then he just be getting enough during the day.

What's your daytime routine in terms of his feeding?

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