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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To say No, he can't stay in our holiday flat

28 replies

Rainbowflower24 · 26/07/2017 16:44

We have 2 nights away - DH, dd and I. The first night we're alone. The second day our friends with their child are joining us at our invitation. It's an airbnb. Now DHs colleague wants to stay the first night as DH is doing a colleagues thing in the evening. Its been organised for months so why the colleague is asking now, 2 days before if he can crash - I have no idea. It's only a weekend away and I don't want to have to have to mess around washing sheets on Saturday morning - I want to have a lazy breakfast in my pyjamas with DH and DD, visit the town and be all relaxed when our friends arrive. I don't want to contact the host again and say another person is staying. I want to enioy some peace alone with just us. maybe even have sex I feel unreasonable because DH wants to offer his colleague the room and I often have people at ours to stay. DH says we can tell him to bring his own bedding. AIBU?

OP posts:
NapQueen · 26/07/2017 16:46

Just ask him to bring his own bedding. Seems a bit off that you can invite someone for night 2 but dh cant invite someone for night 1.

Or dh could launder the sheets and remake the bed.

DirtyChaiLatte · 26/07/2017 16:47

Those are all completely valid reasons why you don't want him to stay. I'd put my foot down about it.

Pengggwn · 26/07/2017 16:58

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Wineandrosesagain · 26/07/2017 17:01

That would be a no from me. Colleague can sort his own airbnb. Very cheeky of him to ask to barge in the first night of a two night break.

milliemolliemou · 26/07/2017 17:01

No. He can find his own Air BnB

AnneLovesGilbert · 26/07/2017 17:07

No from me too. Hold your ground, you're meant to be having a shag fest, and good for you break!

BumWad · 26/07/2017 17:08

No from me

PsychoPumpkin · 26/07/2017 17:09

No, do t let him stay. It's not your problem he's left it so late to find accomodation.

GinaFordCortina · 26/07/2017 17:12

Nap queen... Just ask him to bring his own bedding. Seems a bit off that you can invite someone for night 2 but dh cant invite someone for night 1.

The second day our friends are joining us at our invitation.

TheMaddHugger · 26/07/2017 17:12

Does this negate conditions on the Rental? as in are you expected to inform and pay more for extra person ?

GinaFordCortina · 26/07/2017 17:13

Just because they both invite friends one day doesn't mean they have to let colleagues stay.

Op are you even allowed to let him stay? What are the terms of the bnb

Original poster
Rainbowflower24 · 26/07/2017 17:35

Thanks for your replies. The terms are - whole house rental for 4 people. We have informed already about the 2 toddlers and that we will bring own toddler beds. Just one bathroom but I don't mind as they really are good friends who have invited us for one night at their holiday place before so this is us reciprocating in kind.

OP posts:
sleeponeday · 26/07/2017 17:38

Just say the AirBNB host said it wasn't okay - that they agreed to the first, but reluctantly, and have now put their foot down when asked about the colleague request. Not like the colleague can argue that, really. They are being presumptuous as hell, but not worth drama with a colleague, if there's no friendship there to consider.

You're being entirely reasonable.

Rainbunny · 26/07/2017 17:40

I'd say no as well, this is your trip and sounds like he would be cutting into your only chance to relax with just your DH. This is a completely different proposition to having friends joining you, planned in advance and arranging to split costs. Do you even know this colleague?

The thing that would make me concerned is what state the colleague might end up in after this "work event." I have been in the position of waking up on a Saturday morning to find that my (now ex) DP's colleague who had asked to stay the night also to attend a work event, had thrown up everywhere in our bathroom and had trashed our kitchen in an apparent 4am drunken attempt to make beans on toast which the aftermath showed he failed at and ruined one of my saucepans. So in my cynical view, when a person wants to stay overnight so they can attend an evening event and not have to drive home it means they are more likely to get hideously drunk. In my case, DPs colleague ended up on our sofa for the whole day Saturday as he was too hungover to get on a train home. Your DH's colleague might be the perfect guest of course but i'm afraid I'd still say no.

SapphireStrange · 26/07/2017 17:40

You can just say no. Wanting friends to stay one night doesn't mean you have to want someone else to stay the other night. I don't know why this colleague hasn't booked themselves somewhere already.

Sugarpiehoneyeye · 26/07/2017 17:44

It's a definite NO from me.
Stand your ground Rainbow.

Jaxhog · 26/07/2017 17:45

I'd say no too. Mutual close friends is one thing. DH's drunken colleague (who you don't know) is quite another.

MipMipMip · 26/07/2017 17:49

I'd mention to DP that you would find it very weird to have sex with his colleague in the next room. And obviously you won't be doing so when the toddlers are there.....

Starlighter · 26/07/2017 17:51

No effing way! That first night is your family time together and time together as a couple too. I can't believe you're even considering it?!

horsefeathers · 26/07/2017 17:53

No - 2 days notice isn't enough. Having some random colleague around totally changes the nature of the break. You planned it and paid for it, you don't have to let someone gatecrash your weekend away. If you had the place for a week then sacrificing one night alone might have been less of an issue, but you don't.

user1495025590 · 26/07/2017 18:12

I'd mention to DP that you would find it very weird to have sex with his colleague in the next room

Are you expected to have sex with his colleague? I am not surprised you find it weird! Wink

SilverDragonfly1 · 26/07/2017 18:25

User, surely that's just good hosting??

letsmargaritatime · 26/07/2017 18:37

User, surely that's just good hosting??

GrinGrinGrin

RiotAndAlarum · 26/07/2017 18:46

Bet the colleague fell out with his/ her original host. Bad sign!

coddiwomple · 26/07/2017 18:53

It's completely understandable you would be uncomfortable with a complete stranger, YANBU.