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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To wonder where all the cheeky parents wanting free holiday childcare are?!

71 replies

rollonthesummer · 26/07/2017 09:49

Come on, it's day 3 of the holidays and I have time to sit and read mumsnet and there are NO current 'real time' stories of cheeky fuckers wanting to drop children off with some poor woman (usually with a newborn and three others of her own) at 7am until 7pm. Has everyone actually now sorted their own appropriate paid childcare?!

Do I need to get off my backside and do housework instead?! Grin

OP posts:
youarenotkiddingme · 26/07/2017 11:12

I work term time and offered to have others kids for a day or 2 to help out during holidays. Not needed now they are teens!

I'd happily help anyone that asked (if I wasn't busy!) and would offer people I knew would book holiday club for a week.

However the ones that would get the hump and I didn't help we're the ones who'd sit there bemoaning "I have no idea what I'm going to do in the holidays with DC as I work FT and don't get holidays off ..... blah blah!"

Original poster
rollonthesummer · 26/07/2017 11:41

I'm a teacher and usually quite happy to look after friends children during holidays - we go away next and 1 friend looked horrified when she found out and said but who will look after my children! Apparently I should have checked dates she was working first!

What did you say?!

OP posts:
mumoseven · 26/07/2017 12:10

I work with kids and no way am I looking after anyone elses for nothing during the precious precious hols.

HickDead · 26/07/2017 12:57

My DB and DSIL have got through the whole of their DN's Primary school years without ever shelling out for wraparound or holiday care! DB is a teacher but different LA to DN so sometimes there is a clash. Both sets of grandparents and DN's friends parents are expected to cover. DSIL keeps her holidays for when DB is off, she leaves nothing for inset days, she told my mum that she was entitled to quality time with her family.

I'm astounded that they've managed it! I've shelled out thousands on appropriate care for my 3 over the years but I hate asking favours from anyone and would never ask.

HickDead · 26/07/2017 12:58

Sorry my DN's, he would be their son!

Muddlingalongalone · 26/07/2017 13:06

I've had the opposite - would dd like a playdate, the mum understands I might be working so happy to have her all day if I want - they are early risers. Bless her - don't even know her that well. As it turns out I was off, but might work 1/2 day from home to bank some hours!
Dd is booked into holiday club for any days I'm working - shocked that not everyone has to do the same!!

Lovewatchingrainfall · 26/07/2017 13:07

A neighbour knocked on my door and said she had heard that my child is going into hospital for a week can I look after her children while mine is in hospitals so she can go away!! I was so shocked managed to say no. And then she got moody with me!!

JuicyStrawberry · 26/07/2017 13:07

Argh some people are so cheeky!
In my opinion it's cheeky to even ask when you know the friend/relative has a lot on themselves.

PolarBearGoingSomewhere · 26/07/2017 13:08

I've had a couple - although one was after an overnight babysitter for a night out. She wasn't requesting anything mega unreasonable but there is no reciprocity (literally never) and rarely a thanks so I said no.

The other friend has alluded to needing a fair amount of help over the holidays... her DP works term-time only though so not sure why he isn't doing it; also she begun the next sentence with how delighted she is to be working as it's showing her DC a great work ethic - I was in a grump and shouldnt have taken it personally but I did rant to DH that it's ok to have my shitty, lazy lack of work ethic shown to her DC if it means the childcare is free!

I'll probably help 2 or 3 good friends out as I'd be wanting their DC over to play anyway so might as well dp it at a convenient time that allows them to work, go to hospital appointments or whatever.

MyCalmX · 26/07/2017 13:16

Bullshit Love. Absolutely no one can be that much of a massive twat Shock

Lunde · 26/07/2017 13:31

I have been caught out with "childcare swaps" in previous years - one particularly took the piss. She wanted to "share" childcare for a half term week so I had her kids for 48 hours (including overnight) but when she came to collect she was "too busy" to take my kids during working hours and offered 2 hours on Sunday afternoon instead.

Lovewatchingrainfall · 26/07/2017 13:33

MyCalm you have not met my neighbours they are vile people. She drops her kids off at weekends to anyone so she can go out drinking.

AnnPerkins · 26/07/2017 13:37

Confused I work but I'm doing some childcare swaps over the holidays.

I never, ever accept childcare favours from friends without offering to reciprocate at weekends and in my two weeks annual leave in August. So far, in fact, I think my SAH and teacher friends are indebted to me, if you want to look at it like that.

ParadiseCity · 26/07/2017 14:18

Ann Perkins! Grin

(Love that show)

PolarBearGoingSomewhere · 26/07/2017 14:26

So far, in fact, I think my SAH and teacher friends are indebted to me, if you want to look at it like that.

That's all anyone wants or needs - it's all about give and take. The examples I gave riled me because they are net "takers" I guess. I have some friends who I know I could call on if I needed help - some aren't able to help with childcare (which I very very rarely need anyway) but might bake a cake for a meet up, give me some of their windfall apples or say "this is on me" for the coffees one day. It's not about it being a debt to pay but about everyone feeling valued.

PolarBearGoingSomewhere · 26/07/2017 14:28

Sorry, Ann, I copied the wrong section of your post but hope ykwim. I am very willing and happy to help and love being in a position to help my friends. I'm a few people's 2nd contact for school which is lovely but I don't like feeling taken for granted. It sounds like you don't do that to your mates Grin

vikingprincess81 · 26/07/2017 14:35

Flump you ok? Flowers
Love who the fuck thinks like that?? If my neighbours' annoying but fairly harmless dc was in hospital I'd be going round with flowers and a casserole, not to scab childcare! Hope your wee one is ok Flowers

5foot5 · 26/07/2017 14:41

I work but I'm doing some childcare swaps over the holidays.

When DD was small childcare swaps worked OK for us. DD's best friend lived nearby, both her parents worked FT as did DH and I and we got on well with all of them. This made a pool of 4 adults all of whom were capable and willing to look after 2 little girls for a day (they had a younger child who was still pre-school and in full time private nursery so school hols not yet an issue with her)

Having said that we mostly managed by using annual leave, holiday clubs and accepting kind offers from GPs.

I would be plan for each holiday weeks ahead - even having a chart stuck to the fridge for the long summer holidays to show how each day had been organised. I simply cannot understand how anyone would let it get to a few days before without proper arrangements being made.

Ktown · 26/07/2017 14:48

Childcare swaps are great
It saves leave, kids have friends to amuse them. Everyone's happy!

BadTasteFlump · 26/07/2017 14:55

Viking yes am ok thanks Cake

I'm just really good at making myself feel guilty for not being Mary Poppins Sad. I work pt, school hours, so no need for child care, which is fab usually - also DC are older now so fine to leave for a couple of hours here and there (high school age).

They seem perfectly happy with the situation, but for some reason I feel horribly guilty that I'm not at home 24/7 baking cakes and doing messy play - or something.. Having said that, I've just got home and they are both ignoring my attempts at conversation because they're 'busy' Hmm. Arrrgh, I need to give myself a shake Smile

toastandbutterandjam · 26/07/2017 15:01

Got one here help me Her parents are rude as well. Mother did not ask.

Got a sly invitation to care for someone else's child on a specific day during the holidays. I can't because we have plans that can't be cancelled. The mother knows and yet has been constantly banging on about it. She hasn't asked me outright, but I know exactly what she wants. She messaged me about it again today.

just reminding people that i'm not a free childcare provider

AlwaysDancing1234 · 26/07/2017 15:03

It would be me except I learned my lesson from half term when DS's friend was dropped off by Mum as she had an emergency work meeting in another town.

We agreed a pickup time which came and went, we gave him dinner, still no reply from Mum. 12 hours later, way past bedtime and I was getting seriously worried....she rocks up a bit pissed and let slip the meeting was for a couple hours then she went to a wine bar with a mate and "got squiffy ha ha".
I was livid.

She approached me on last day of school and was enquiring about our holiday plans - I was crystal clear that no way we would be providing any childcare this year!

user1498911589 · 26/07/2017 15:09

We are going on holiday to a cottage which happens to have twin beds in the second children's room; we're only using on. One of the DCs has a school 'friend' (in the loosest sense of the word) who has two full time working parents, we've been asked if we can take their DC because they haven't got child care.

How about no?

Sprinklestar · 26/07/2017 15:16

I'd been wondering about this as well. Astonishing that so many people just don't sort themselves out! We just muddle along and cover everything between us. The only time I've actively asked for help was an absolute emergency when we thought DH was about to die. Some people need to get a grip on life!

IggyAce · 26/07/2017 15:18

Does anyone know if WORKzilla dropped/dumped her kids on the first day of the school holidays?

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