To expect ex husband to tell me where and when he's taking kids abroad?

[Runlovingmummy81]

Exactly as the title says really.... I am taking them abroad in a couple of weeks. Provided dates / times / flights / resort / accommodation details.

He has demanded copies of their passports by today and wants me to hand them over in a few weeks. If I don't he will seek financial reembursement for his losses. I have politely requested the above information to which I have had no reply.

There is a huge back history of emotional abuse so I know it's a ploy to piss me off.....

Thing is would you ever say no I don't agree to you taking them to x and rush to court?

I know it's horrible to not know etc but this is feeding a drama and he will be getting off on it.

The only reason why I can see it being worth the hassle is if he is going to be an arse and not return the passports in order to cost you more money etc.

That's not true about court orders. I am allowed to take my dc away for up to 28 days without his consent.

My ex is not.

I wouldn't give the passports without flight numbers and accommodation addresses , bit just country and dates. Agree there is no way he can claim compensation.

All he has to do is give you the details. What possible reason would he have for not doing so?

I think you should withhold them till you have the details. He is wasting his own money if he refuses.

My ex wouldn't tell me where he lived when he moved so I had to give up my son EOWeekend not knowing where he was going.

It was hell.

would you tell him exactly were you where taking the children?

Aslong as the information would flow both ways

He already knows where we are going. I had the same when he moved house. He refused to say where he was living with them. But luckily it's right by Kids school so they showed me!

So I thought I would provide you all with an update.

Exh collected the boys Sunday morning and demanded the passports. He still hadn't disclosed where and when he was going so I didn't hand them over. He threatened legal and financial implications if I didn't hand them over. He had already told the boys they were flying Monday so I knew he needed them.i heard nothing from him all day.

I have received an email from him at 6 this morning giving the information and saying the boys have missed out as I didn't hand them over.

Except..... He's going to Jersey. He doesn't need need passports. He's already left (checked his house).

So all just bullshit. And that's why I trust my instincts and didn't hand them over.

How hilarious!!!!

I kid you not. I've had weeks off him going on and on. He said yesterday we both know that legal implications.....

Of what. He's not even leaving the UK!

Why are you withholding it? Sounds like a little power game to me.

actully just for the record Jersey isnt part of the Unitied Kingdom (doesnt need a passport though just isnt part of our country same as the Isle of Man)

No power games going on here. I was simply requesting the same information I shared with him.

My ex doesn't tell me either. They just went on holiday for a week and I didn't know where they were going. Luckily my children are a bit older now so can tell me themselves.

Completely due to power games on my ex's part though. He's an arse.

I've not needed any authorisation from him (or vice versa) to take them away, although I did get asked at the airport last time (and so did they).

The whole thing has been a game. He's never needed the passports.

Well OP..I glad you stuck to your instincts... As he didn't even need them may well of not given them you back for your holiday.

For those saying it is a power game...How? OP has given details of her holiday..Sometimes you do have to say I can't be pushed because you demand it.

Thanks starlight. My only concern is the welfare and well being of the children. And I have a right to know where they are. I'm not interested in games or power.

I have a right to know where they are. I'm not interested in games or power

a genuine question do you have a right to know? is it legal or are you talking moral? I ask because I was annoyed at my ex not giving me information and my solicitor told me I had no right to know if he didnt want to tell me, as we have joint parental responsibility, although she thought he should tell me morally

He has the right to take our dc abroad the same as I do, I could have asked that he had to have my consent but then he would have done the same to me and I travel more than him

Not legally no.

Unfortunately many people are morally bankrupt even when their own children are involved.

And what can be done.... SFA

you are right they are, I also saw it that they only way he could attempt to control or upset me was by using our children

That's all he has in his life...