AIBU?
To be annoyed at this male member of staff in the female toilet
witchofzog · 24/07/2017 10:24
Part of me thinks I am and part of me is still annoyed. I don't go for a number two very often. Although I have tried different things and got slightly better lately, it is still maybe every 3-4 days. I nearly always try to go at home.
Today on the train I needed to go and knew I wouldnt be able to even wait until I got to work, never mind until I get home. So I head to the quieter toilets at the large station I commute into. Usually if I use them I am the often the only one in there. But today there were a couple of ladies waiting for 3 cubicles.
Finally it's my turn and there is no one else behind me. Although I was desperate I was also a bit constipated so I wasn't sure how long it would take. Literally 1 minute later I hear a male voice. He tells a woman coming out of another cubicle that he is there to replenish the toilet roll. And he just waits and waits. Then he starts spraying air freshener and chunters to himself that he is only waiting now for the person in my cubicle. And still he waits.
I need to go but am feeling really uncomfortable now and under pressure to be quick. But how can I be with a bloody evesdropping man? So I manage half my business and leave the cubicle to a glaring man and now I am enroute to a customer visit feeling slightly better but still uncomfortable.
I get that his job is probably not particularly pleasant and that he wanted to get the toilets done. But really? Did he have to hover and make it so obvious he wanted me out?
PinkHeart5911 · 24/07/2017 10:27
He was doing his job, I doubt very much he was eve dropping to hear you poo tbh.
It wouldn't of worried me, I am an adult we all poo of he's cleaning toilets like he doesn't hear all kinds of noise anyway. So adult up do what you need to do, wash you hands and leave
witchofzog · 24/07/2017 10:31
The gender question is an interesting one because I did question that as I typed this. I guess it was more to do with the fact that it was clear that he wasn't leaving until I was done and was going to wait outside the door for me to finish. I would probably have felt the same had it been a female cleaner.
I am ok with other people being in the vicinity. Just not feeling under pressure to hurry I guess
SapphireStrange · 24/07/2017 10:49
I agree his gender is irrelevant.
I'd contact his company though. He needs some further training or something. I used to clean offices, including their loos, and was taught that if someone is in there you quietly leave the room and go and do something else until it's vacant.
Firstimefreaked · 24/07/2017 10:59
I don't think the main issue would be gender there is no reason why they couldn't announce they were going to start cleaning soon set a sign outside wait there or w/e. But on the issue of gender it could it make people uncomfortable but if your religion or background it could be that you couldn't have contact with men or needed to adjust your headscarf which could be the case with Muslims Jews and certain Catholics. To top it off he was just rude!
VestalVirgin · 24/07/2017 11:06
Love the MN response of 'further training" though! That often seems to come up, when all that is needed really is don't be an arsehole.
One might think that if his parents didn't manage to teach him that, it is not terribly likely the further training will have much of an effect ...
Also, and this is also why sex is relevant, why the fuck didn't he just leave and come back later? I would get some creepy dude vibes from his desire to stick around. Loos are not a nice place to wait, and surely, he could have gone out of the whole toilet space and waited outside the door until you come out - IF his employer requires him to do things in exact order. Normally, surely he could have busied himself in a different way meanwhile.
Female cleaners mopping the floor while you are inside the loo are sure annoying, but they are doing something.
This guy apparently just stood there, waiting. Which is not the sensible way of doing things; you'd think that a professional cleaner, loo roll changer, whatever, would find something else to do in the meantime.
RhodaBorrocks · 24/07/2017 11:09
I have IBS and in your situation I have previously called out to the cleaner (of either sex) that I'll be a while and perhaps they could do something else in the meantime?
Although he sounds like such a dick he may have replied that he had nothing else to do and stayed there.
Hope you can find somewhere to go in peace OP, it's never nice when you get that feeling and you know you must find a toilet 'right now' because you're finally ready to go. 
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