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AIBU to consider methods of self-defence?

75 replies

ElleDubloo · 24/07/2017 09:56

Ever since I became a mum I've become very concerned about my children's safety - same as all parents. Particularly worried about night-time intruders. We have good locks and a good alarm, but what if someone can get past these? Sometimes I can't sleep because I'm thinking of possible scenarios where people come into our house and hurt the children, and what I could do to protect them.

Hand on heart, I wish I could keep a gun. I know that's not a popular opinion at all. Let's forget I said it.

Knives - possible, but intruders would likely be armed with knives too. I need something better than that.

What about keeping a bow and arrow in the bedroom? Pros would be:

  • it's legal to keep a bow and arrow
  • archery is a legitimate hobby and fun to learn
  • DC wouldn't be strong enough to use it even if they came across it

Maybe I've been watching too much GoT but it just strikes me as the perfect self-defence weapon. Has anyone considered or tried it?
OP posts:

DonkeyOaty · 24/07/2017 10:07


You're catastrophising and sound very anxious.


LordEmsworth · 24/07/2017 10:12

You're going to learn to shoot a bow and arrow as a means of self-defence in your own home?

Many questions spring to mind, the first one being, how big is your bedroom?! It's not exactly a close range weapon.

Anyway... bad idea to have a weapon especially if you aren't practised with it. Best case scenario, the intruder takes it from you and uses it against you. Worst case, one of the kids stumbles in in the dark and wakes you unexpectedly...

I think you may benefit from talking to your GP if this keeps you awake at night.


DrHorribletookmycherry · 24/07/2017 10:12

A bow can only be used by anything other than serious masters as a medium range weapon.
Short range they are completely mental. Easy to rush someone inexperienced faffing about with strings and arrows too.
Just get a bloody heavy lecreuset with a long handle. Heavy object being swung will do a lot of damage and you barely need to aim.
Just don't hit any photgraphs or ornaments


DrHorribletookmycherry · 24/07/2017 10:13

(Or indeed children). You might want to consider that this slight paranoia isn't helping you.


Glumglowworm · 24/07/2017 10:14

You'd be better off addressing your anxiety than fuelling it with weaponry


SaucyJack · 24/07/2017 10:18



WonderLime · 24/07/2017 10:18

It sounds like you have quite severe anxiety if you can't sleep thinking about it! Honestly, how likely do you actually think it is that some random stranger wants to break into your house to hurt you and your children?


Shoxfordian · 24/07/2017 10:22

Yeah you should see your doctor to ask for help managing your anxiety


RedHelenB · 24/07/2017 10:28

Having a gun in the house would be a much higher possibility of children being harmed/ killed than having an intruder harm them. Most break ins are for theft not to kill random people.


NotLachsAgainMother · 24/07/2017 10:30

I don't want to add to your fears but logically speaking, I would say that you would be better off focusing on getting out of the house in case of fire rather than on defending yourself against intruders who might break in with the intention of hurting you. If you are in the UK, then the latter scenario is vanishingly unlikely.

I agree with PPs who say that talking to your GP about your fears is probably the best place to start.


ElleDubloo · 24/07/2017 10:31

I don't suffer from anxiety. I have to wake to breastfeed and sometimes it takes a while to get back to sleep.

I accept the advice that a bow and arrow don't work well at short range. Are there alternatives?

A chainsaw in the bedroom would be so much worse!

Le Creuset is a good idea. I'll move my heaviest pan into the bedroom.

OP posts:

ElleDubloo · 24/07/2017 10:32

What about an air rifle for clay pigeon shooting? Is it legal to keep one in the home (on a high shelf)?

OP posts:

LBOCS2 · 24/07/2017 10:35

I agree with NotLachs. Far more likely that there will be a fire; please check your smoke alarms. That's my 4am 'fear'.

Having been burgled on a number of occasions, the main aim of most break ins is to get the most valuable things and get out quickly. 'Home invasion' type break ins are vanishingly rare.


RedHelenB · 24/07/2017 10:36

You need to see a doctor about this paranoia asap.


VestalVirgin · 24/07/2017 10:40

Get a nice long, sturdy stick at a martial arts shop. Best weapon for the inexperienced, keeps attacker at a distance - but do learn how to prevent it being taken from you.

Archery is a cool hobby, but bow and arrow cannot be used indoors, or really, for any kind of self-defense. It only makes sense if there's some people walking up to your door who you 100% know mean you harm, and let's face it, that's not terribly common nowadays. If you want to learn something that is cool and can be used for self-defense, learn swordfighting.

But if you want to protect your children, first and foremost, teach them boundaries. There are many more children sexually abused right under their parents' noses, often by a male family member, than there are children attacked by strangers while sleeping in their beds.

Teach them boundaries, and teach them they can trust you and you will always be on their side.


ittakes2 · 24/07/2017 10:41

Go to the doctor - having children triggered me feeling anxious about their safety at night and I now have a sleep disorder which affects my physical health. There is training on the Nhs called cognitive behavioural training which can help you with your anxieties. This will help your children too in the long run as they will be picking up on your anxieties.


pasturesgreen · 24/07/2017 10:43

If you're being serious, I think you should seriously consider going to the doctor.

This is not a normal or healthy level of anxiety.


Justaboy · 24/07/2017 10:47

As others have said address the primary fears;!

Then give the crime prevention dept of the local police a ring and sort out your Primary security, windows doors locks and all that first best bet apart from a Smith and Wesson or a Glock is to keep them out.

Works very well for El-Al Airlines where they've long had a police of not letting troublemakers on the plane in the first instance!.

Same work very well at home money spent there is well worth it.

A dog can be a useful warming asset provided you look after it well .


ChardonnaysPrettySister · 24/07/2017 10:48

A bow and arrow in the confined space of a house? No.

Can you install an alarm?


Sashkin · 24/07/2017 10:50

Do not keep an air rifle in your house - like Chekov's revolver, your kids will eventually get hold of it.

If somebody breaks in, you are not going to go all Chuck Norris on them. You just aren't. If you attack them, they'll overpower you easily, and then you have a burglar who's pissed off that you've assaulted them. If you do get burgled, get yourself and the kids out of the house and call the police.


BadTasteFlump · 24/07/2017 10:52

OP in the nicest possible way, you may not think you suffer from anxiety but your thoughts re a bow and arrow/air rifle/etc say otherwise - you really ought to see your GP.

No 'weapons' should be necessary. If you ever had a burglar when you were at home, the chances of him actually wanting to confront you are miniscule - he would be wanting to get in and out unnoticed. If it makes you feel better, buy yourself a nice big heavy paperweight or doorstop to have standing near the bed - or even something like a cricket bat. A weapon in your room is more likely to do you or your own DC damage (accidentally) than to ever be used on an intruder.


BoysofMelody · 24/07/2017 10:59

I think you need help. As others have pointed out, kiddy snatching scenarios are incredibly rare. Housebreakers generally just want to get in and out as quickly as possible.

Arming yourself to the teeth, is a risky strategy. Firstly, if you use it anger you may have to field awkward questions and leave yourself open to criminal charges. Letting off a bow and arrow at someone robbing your laptop isn't self defence. Secondly, you put yourself in danger. Imagine you come charging into the living room brandishing whatever you're holding. You are confronted by three burly blokes robbing the TV. It would be incredibly easy for them to take whatever you have in your hands and use it against vou.


becauseisaid · 24/07/2017 11:07

This is what me and my dp were talking about a couple of weeks ago after reading about Isis apparently saying they want to break into people's homes.

Dp said about getting a samurai swordShock, keeping it in our bedroom, our stairs go straight up but we have a landing across so we can look right down at the bottom of the stairs across the landing if that makes sense Blushand if someone was to come in, he'd be able to swing it over the banister! Genuine conversation Shock scary really.


Moanyoldcow · 24/07/2017 11:10

Is this for real?


Therealslimshady1 · 24/07/2017 11:11

It is very rare for these kind of violent burglaries to happen in the UK

My teen son has a karate black belt, DH and other son are archers, we also have an air rifle and cricket bats.....we would never try and attack intruders, we'd run away!

You'd go to prison if you kill an intruder in the UK, it is not Wild West rules.

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