AIBU to consider methods of self-defence?

[ElleDubloo]

Ever since I became a mum I've become very concerned about my children's safety - same as all parents. Particularly worried about night-time intruders. We have good locks and a good alarm, but what if someone can get past these? Sometimes I can't sleep because I'm thinking of possible scenarios where people come into our house and hurt the children, and what I could do to protect them.

Hand on heart, I wish I could keep a gun. I know that's not a popular opinion at all. Let's forget I said it.

Knives - possible, but intruders would likely be armed with knives too. I need something better than that.

What about keeping a bow and arrow in the bedroom? Pros would be:

• it's legal to keep a bow and arrow
• archery is a legitimate hobby and fun to learn
• DC wouldn't be strong enough to use it even if they came across it

Maybe I've been watching too much GoT but it just strikes me as the perfect self-defence weapon. Has anyone considered or tried it?

What others said about managing your anxiety, please seek help from your GP, and/or look for a book or online course for CBT. You already have beefed up security with an alarm system, so your accentuating worry suggests an anxiety spiral.

There's a certain level of protections you can take that are sensible and pragmatic such as locking doors and windows, but with home crime prevention there is a trade off with fire safety and getting out effectively... that's more important.

Mrs Brian Cox knocked several lights out of an intruder to their home, but that's not recommended unless you do something like thai boxing or krav maga. Archery isn't an indoor thing!

Almost all intruders will be after quick and easy takings, I've heard it recommended that you keep car keys and handbags downstairs at night, so they don't venture further up.

because, I should hope he was just joking!

Unless you are prepared to invest the time (and it is a lot of time) needed to master the weapon, having a weapon in your home makes you rather less safe.

As for Isis, have some pork lard ready, and throw it at them, announcing what it is when/if they invade your home.
Or stash your bloody pads and tampons until your next period and throw those. Should also make them flee in a panic.

Seriously, don't have anything in an accessible place in your home that can be used against you. If you do get a sword, hide it away and only take it out if you encounter a burglar who is armed with a better weapon AND means to do you harm. (If someone is just stealing your TV, leave the house and call the police)

Have you ever fired an air-rifle? Some are very heavy to lift, the gas cylinder needs to be refilled to ensure it has the right pressure before you use it, so not an amazing choice in an emergency.

Le creuset is a much better option So are martial arts self-defence lessons and a course in anxiety management.

Aerosol can and a lighter.

Hairspray is perfect, as it's sticky and burns hot. Keep a little essential oil burner next to your bed (but always be smart about fire safety!) so you know where the lighter is. Make sure you hold the lighter well in front of the can. If the flame reaches the can, chuck it and duck.

I'm not a big chap, so when I'm walking dangerous streets I keep my deodorant in the front pocket of my satchel with my Zippo. A steam of fire to the face is off-putting to muggers and if they put up a hand to stop it, well, that's a hand catching light instead. Nobody's brave with fire coming at them. If you're using it in the home, make sure you have a kitchen fire extinguisher and know how to use it - to be honest, that's a comfort in itself and an excellent alternative form of self-defence too.

The only real form of safety is the readiness to act in your own defence and the willingness to keep acting until you are safe. Shout first to make sure they have a chance to get smart and run away (or identify themselves as a non-threat). Keys in the fist, fire and spray or go for their eyes and groin and keep clawing until one of you goes down.

Something like a pepper spray might be safer... although that may be illegal here I'm not sure...
I read somewhere that an inexperienced person having a knife is more dangerous than being unarmed, as the attacker is likely to get it off you, and then they have a knife!
When I lived alone I slept with a hammer under my bed... a biggish metal one with the double points on the back.

Aerosol can and a lighter

Please don't set fire to your own home.

If you are genuinely that worried just get a big old frying pan and spang the intruder with it just like Pauline Fowler when she discovered Arthur had been taking Michael Parkinson's wife to the toolshed.

Self-defence is not the same as killing an intruder.

Any weapon you have can be taken from you and used on you. There was a story a few years ago about a woman on the subway who was mugged and triee to used kitchen cleaner spray on her attacker. He took it from her and sprayed it in her face, blinding her.

Keep your doors and windows locked, look into an alarm system and keep your phone by the bed.

Having weapons in the house is an exceptionally stupid idea. If you did want to have a weapon, you'd need something that has enough stopping power to put an attacker down in the first hit. Realistically in the UK the only thing that would work is a shotgun and you'd never get the permissions to own one. All an air rifle will do is piss an attacker off.

Please realise that this sort of thinking just isn't normal. Can you speak to one anyone in real life? My sister went through a phrase of this sort of thinking. It stopped when she was diagnosed with PND and started talking medication.

@MephistophelesApprentice

Most of what you've written is TERRIBLE advice. Op, do NOT jerry rig a fucking flame thrower. Not only will you set fire to your bedroom, by the time you'd fucked about finding a lighter and getting the spray in the right direction, chances are an attacker would have reached the bed and disabled you anyway.

Just to reiterate - this is a fucking terrible idea. DO NO DO IT!

Aerosol can and a lighter

Ffs Don't even think about it, please.

I posted to see if I was being unreasonable to have these thoughts. I guess the answer is yes. I'm surprised, but I'll try not to think about it too much anymore.

Funniest thread I've read in ages.

Not really funny is it? It's clear OP has had difficultly with these thoughts. Oh anxiety and fear of your children being hurt - hilarious

If there are armed intruders, the best thing you can do is be EXTREMELY COMPLIANT.

you are way more likely to escalate the violence and have your weapon turned against you than do any good.

See if you can get hold of some pepper spray and keep it in a drawer/cabinet away from the little ones or something similar. You don't need to injure them, just disable them until the police arrive. When I was a teenager, I read a self defence book that stated you should throw coins at their face... Not sure on that one. I'm skint.
I used to be a kickboxer but had to stop due to pregnancy, but I plan on taking it back up after DS is born. But still, I can't guarantee how ill react if I had a burger in my home.
Safest thing is to ensure you have access to a phone and a plan to lick yourself and family inside a room if anything happens.

burglar lock

a plan to lick yourself and family

If I was an intruder that would freak me out!

Pepper spray is illegal in the UK.

Ah yes so it is! If you Google it there is an alternative. Farb Gerb Spray or something like that

Concentrate on making your house as unappealing as possible to random burglars - which you're doing. So locks, alarms, dog type signs, outside lights, no large amounts of cash in the house, no valuables on view from window. Usual police safety advice. Criminals targeting your house to commit a violent crime against the person are very very rare. You're fixating on a type of crime because that's what scares you the most, a bit like an irrational fear of clowns. It doesn't mean you're not frightened but your fear has very little basis in reality.

Don't keep anything within arms length that can be used you be it lighters, knives - life isn't like a film, adrenaline kicks in, in real life you'd forget you had your armoury.

If you are really that concerned
find nearest taekwon-do or karati school. Many will offer a self defence classes.
Trouble is in your home you have to be committed enough to hurt them enough not to get up again otherwise you'll end up in real trouble.

Sounds like you need confidence, not weapons.

What about an Amazon Echo setup to turn lights on throughout the house when you tell it? Perhaps not in the kids rooms.

Maybe the Prepper bord may be helpful to you? They discuss home defense.

Also research SAS CQB (Close Quarter Battle) they have some useful hints and tips. For instance a bow and arrow is good if you are shooting someone on your lawn out the window. But to big to effectively swing around inside a house. They would suggest things like making your house as unappealing as possible by using lots of noise making gravel and thorny plants.

Maybe a heavy wooden box on the landing you can throw down the stairs?

Or a well trained dog?

Since we moved to the US I have become very security minded, all the family can shoot, we keep guns, have dogs. Our states law says we cannot kill an intruder until they step foot in our safe space. ( you have to wait until they open the front door before you shoot)

I would add to the chorus of people saying that your anxiety is the main issue here. If someone managed to get into your home past your alarm (practically impossible). They would likely want iPhones not to harm anyone - it's easy enough to do the latter without breaking into someone's home if you are so inclined. Any weaponry you buy would create more risk to your children either from them messing with it or, in the unlikely scenario of intruders, having it turned on them.
I would recommend taking up a martial art with your kids though. That is something that actually could be beneficial in terms of your safety and has good all round health benefits. But do see someone about your anxiety. It sounds awful what you are going through.

Are you American?