To think this is cheeky!

[user1489592537]

DH Received a text yesterday from FIL saying 'hello if you remember us we are your parents. You're invited to a BBQ tomorrow if you remember how to get here. You and (my name) will need to wear name badges so we remember who you are.'

We saw them last week and I just find this weird and passive aggressive. DH just laughed it off and said it was nothing, but we've been married 2 and a half years and his parents always make digs about us not seeing them even though we see them once a week! Every week!

My DH works long different shifts every week and I work evenings so it's not always possible to see them more than that. Am I bu to think that text was a bit cheeky and also a bit of a dig? Or am I worrying about nothing?

You see them every week and they still sent that? They sound odd to say the least. I'd ignore it and fail to turn up to the bbq, no way I'd be engaging with them until they learn to communicate like normal, non batshit, people.

I'd just think he had a sense of humour which is more than my FIL had .

Worrying about nothing. Clearly intended as a joke as there's no attempt at subtlety or a 'sly' dig. I think it's quite funny!

That's a bit weird if you see them once a week. I think I'd be querying that.

Is he fed up you visit so often ?????

I didn't say a sly dig, more passive aggressive but at least I'm worrying over nothing! Just found it a bit odd

That's the kind of thing I send my sister/friends after I haven't seen them for a week.
I'd say he has a sense of humour like me!

No @hollyisalovelyname they often moan about not seeing us much!

Just reply, "Who dis?"

Hard to say. If said seriously then very odd. If said as sarcasm then you need to lighten up.

Can you reply with 'sorry, who is this?'

What sort of thing have they said at other times? If it's part of a pattern it's more of a concern.

I would play up to it and actually turn up wearing labels with names on, and respond to whatever they said for the first half hour with 'sorry, who are you again?'

@bootswithdresses I'm not moody about it or anything so don't know why i need to lighten up just found it a bit odd! It's also hard To determine tone in text but as I've said I'm probably worrying about nothing

That text would piss me right off and I would ignore the summons invite.
You're not children. You have lives. Guilt trips are ridiculous.

@butterymuffin they say things like 'oh we never see you anymore!' And 'Why can't you two come round more?' And 'oh it would be so much better if you didn't work in the evening, can't you just call in sick and come over?' And they will say it to the other family members that they never see us but we are always making effort with them and sometimes I get anxious about it and worry because I want a good relationship with them but I can't make more time than I am already for them! I have my own life to live too and as much as I love them I find it hard

Go, wear name stickers 😂

"Go, wear name stickers"

Yes, but with each other's names on.

I think he's trying to make a silly joke it's the kind of thing I would say to a friend, nothing malicious.

It sounds like a terrible dad joke
Turn up with name badges and introduce yourself to everyone!

I don't blame him tbh. Seems to have a decent sense of humour. No doubt you see it as passive aggressive.

Oh it's just a joke isn't it?
+1 vote for a reply of 'new phone. Who dis?'

They sound very annoying.

Go, but get lost on the way and end up doing something fun with DH

@vladmirspoutine why are you making it out like I don't get jokes and have an issue with him when I've clearly said I don't? I've just said I'm anxious about it because I want a good relationship with them and yes it is a joke but if it has an element of how he truly feels i would want to resolve it and explain that I see them as much as possible.

Why are parents like this? I would hate to think my DCs only see me out of duty or because I am pushing to see them all the time.

I want my now grown up kids to want to see me because they like my company.

OP YANBU. I would feel totally smothered. Also I hate fixed routine where "It's Wednesday so we must go and see the parents". I'd drop them for a few weeks and then see them a bit more spur of the moment and not so regularly!

It's the sort of thing my MIL would say after they have been abroad for six weeks at a time (second home), as if we are somehow avoiding them! It's clearly just a joke and I suppose it's sweet that they miss you both, but it's the kind of thing that I roll my eyes about.