To think 35 isn't that old?

[roseanya]

I have a friendship group that has spanned through school and uni - there are 6 of us. 3 have children, 1 is v recently pregnant and 1 doesn't have any. I don't have children and am not sure I want them.

Each to their own of course. However, I feel 35 (our age) is still young. Yet they all say things like oh it would be great to be 18 or 21 again and get dressed up for a night out in town. Can't you have a night out at 35 now and again and get dressed up? I do and they make me feel like I'm "hanging onto my youth" I use Instagram and blog and don't go to bed at 9pm...since when was 35 old?! I know I'm not a teenager but I think they may be in the minority surely? And yes I'm sure a big part of it is the children, but even those who don't have children say these types of things?!

Get some new friends. Seriously. This is the thin end of the wedge.

If today they are reminiscing about being 21 and going out clubbing, as if they couldn't possibly do so now aged 35, then before long they will be regaling you with descriptions of how tired they are (what do you say to that? "oh dear" repeatedly?) and telling you how things aren't as good as they used to be.

I'm 20 and feel fairly 'old'. All my school friends are in uni and getting drunk every weekend. I moved out three years ago and have had a full time job since I finished A levels and I have a baby. I sort of think old is a feeling!

I'm 52 and have bloody brilliant nights out.

I am in my mid 50s and still go out, and enjoy a dance.

I'm 47 with three children and still go out, so do all my friends. What a strange attitude.

Good god I hope 35 ain't old! That's my next burfday 😫

I'm 35 next year and very relieved I don't have to go on nights out anymore!

Give me a Michelin starred restaurant and no one but my husband for company and that's prefect.

Plus I still get ID'd which helps morale :D

I'm 22, and since having dd 10 months ago I feel bloody old, but I think that is the combination of sleep deprivation and having different priorities in comparison to the vast majority of my peers. When I'm 35 she will be 14, which might make me feel old but hopefully once the tiny baby years are over I will have more time to myself again. Having said that though I've never really liked drinking or clubbing, but when I did it was always with an older crowd (mostly 40+ but a few mid 60s men with an ageing rocker vibe ) so I don't see older people going out as a strange thing, a lot of them had more energy than I did even as a teen!

Bloody hell - all you thirty something youngsters are making me feel depressed with stories of feeling old. I am very nearly 47 and don't feel the slightest bit old! Have an 8 and 10 year old, a full on job and a very enjoyable social life. Not all night clubbing anymore I have to admit, but that literally only stopped in my mid 30s before having DS. You're a long time dead and I'm making the most of every moment!

I'm thirty four with five children, I have a more youthful outlook than my friends who only have one child or even those with none at all.

They're clothes shopping at Next and tucked up in bed by 10pm at the age of 33/34 fgs!
It's all 'I can't wear shorts anymore, I'm a mum'

Yes and I've been a mum since I was twenty two so I know that motherhood doesn't initiate some weird trajectory towards middle age.

I still feel really young and yes, youthful.

Strangers even refer to me as 'young lady' in shops and at car dealerships/garages.

YANBU to think that thirty five isn't old, old is always exactly fifteen years older than your present age.

I'll be old at forty nine and not a moment before then.

I'm 37 and love going out. Got 3DC so it's not as frequent and due to having early risers I'm a bit like Cinderella in that I always leave at midnight if not before. There is nothing worse than a weekend day with 3DC and being tired/having a hangover.

I hate these threads. I don't know why I torture myself by reading them. I'm 54 & don't consider myself "old" in any way, shape or form. Ageism is alive & thriving by people labelling themselves as "old" in their 30s & 40s. Just don't.

I got told by a 37 year old guy that I've "aged well"... I'm only 33!

It isn't 'old' but it is older, so I think they probably are thinking in terms of life phases. To be honest, I remember being 16 and clubbing and seeing the flyers for over 21s night, thinking how sad to be clubbing at their advanced age! Really by the time you were legal, you were too old, in our eyes. Quite wrong, of course. I expect your friends will look back and think how very young they were at 35.

I know iabu but it irritates me when people complain about ageing in terms of aches and pains. I just think how lucky they are to only feel those through ageing, and how it backs up the misconception that age and ability are always related.

I became unwell and acquired disabilities in my mid twenties. I was reliant on women nearly three times my age to help me with basic tasks. Even now I am 40 I would not notice any aches and pains related to ageing because ones normal at 40 would be drops in the ocean compared to pre existing problems.

I know it is unreasonable because my experience is not the norm, but there is a limit on how much the experience of the majority should be assumed to be universal in conversations about age and ability.

I will say one thing about your friends....the older women I know who are the most active and young seeming would never have their attitude. They just don't go down that road, and it seems to make a big difference.

Old? I have a son of 35

I am in my forties, thanks to exercise I am fitter than I was at 18 and I love going out! Can still drink like I did then. No children though (luckily) but most of my friends with kids love a night out.

Ooooh OP I am also 35 and...
I have a friendship group that has spanned through school and uni - there are 6 of us. 3 have children I'm now wondering if I'm about to find out 1 is v recently pregnant haha and which of my friends you are!!

I have a 2 yo. I don't go out very often but manages a 3 am getting home not so long ago with a fellow 35 yo mum and a 2 am getting home with a 35 yo mom and a 41 yo mom. I'm sure we all feel older than 15 years who but its still nice to be able to let you hair down, have a drink and go dancing occasionally.

However none of those night were particularly planned - both we're just dinner which led on to drink which let on to a club. Perhaps lure your friends out for a sensible meal then corrupt them subtlely

Your friends sound dreary as fuck, you poor thing. I was never a big clubber, but at 41 I still love going out to bars and restaurants, and feel bored and cooped up if I don't have a night out at least every couple of weeks. You need new friens who don't get a kick out of wallowing in mumsy martyrdom.