How much would you need to SAH?

[Realitysandwich1]

Contemplating being a SAHP - AIBU?
Specifically: how much would you need to have coming into the house each month after the mortgage was paid every month to feel you lived a comfortable life and insured from reasonable shocks?

We'd be losing in the region of £1,300 pm post all tax and costs now and by the time the nursery gets cheaper/2nd dc at school more like £2000 plus pension, benefits, earning potential.

I've been a ft working parent for 7 years and it's felt like a long slog. One primary age is insecure and unconfident, hates all the childcare she has and we've tried a lot and the one at nursery doesn't talk nearly enough or very well to my mind.

I'd asked previously about part time and been told no so assuming that is not in the choice set.

If you're talking purely hypothetically in an ideal world (which none of us live in) I think the most progress example to set is BOTH parents working flexibly/part time and taking an equal role in childcare. I would love to achieve this with my DH but I realise it's not easy in many professions.

Seeing a mother working full time even when that means both parents stressed out and not able to spend as much time with their children as they would like, is not a particularly inspiring example in my own personal opinion.

Having worked in early years settings for some 20 years, I'd be wanting to know what the nursery are doing to help bring your youngest daughter along with regards to speech etc. Have you asked them? Have they mentioned to you any concerns?

I realise that's not what you asked but it's one thing that stood out!

As for being a SAHP I always say if you can run the house on either parents wage, you both agree, you both know how the housework, cooking and monies etc will be divided then do it.

I was very much all about work but now, after various personal incidents, realise that actually, work isn't everything. It's a small part of my life alongside my family and it should never be to the detriment of anything else. I've switched from working in the early years to a three day a week job that pays more, less hours and fits in with our life. Our plan is on track to retire by 55.

You feel childcare is not working for your children and you can afford and would be happy to be at home with them. I would do it. They are only young once. It is not a bad example. It gives them a sense of security and there is nothing wrong with teaching children it is okay to look after family. You can return to work in a few years and you have worked up until now. Your daughter is not going to think women should not work because you take a few years out to look after her. Ignore the dismissal of people who choose to stay at home with their children and do what is right for your family, once you work out what that is. It may be working part time, full time or not at all.

Wow you're all minted! Don't see why you'd even hesitate if you'd have £2100 each month to cover bills shopping etc. Clearly we need new jobs you all seem to have a small fortune!

We had about £1400 a month after rent (one child) and that was fine, cheap holidays and not much going out but trying to do those things with a toddler isn't much fun anyway! Do think about how you would go about getting back into work when you need/want to.

I'm on maternity at the moment and preparing to go back part time so we don't have to pay for childcare. My husband's wage covers all of our necessary outgoings like mortgage, bills and car related costs. For us the minimum we would need from me would be £800 a month to cover food and most other things to feel okay. As it happens my job pays more so we've got enough to put in savings too.

I would definitely look into a part time retail or hospitality job, or possibly admin a few evenings a week or at weekends to keep you busy.

I would never have given up my financial independence to be a SAH mum. They are only at home all the time for a few years, it's not worth risking your financial security for

Easy to say, but you were lucky you had the choice. If one of your children was ill or had special needs you might well not have been able to choose your career.

I would love to work even part time tbh, not for money but to actually feel like a normal adult.
I have two children with sen whom one of them hasnt been to school for 9 months and needs a lot of care.
Wish it was just a case of not being financial dependent but sometimes you just have no bloody choice!

Easy to say, but you were lucky you had the choice. If one of your children was ill or had special needs you might well not have been able to choose your career.

Well said.

Honestly, there's not enough money in the world that would make me return to being a SAHP.