ASD/ADD/Quirky

[Moanyoldcow]

I'm sorry for posting here - I'm just so confused that I don't know if im coming or going.

My son is 4. He's just finished nursery and is starting Reception in September.

For the last year his behaviour has confused everyone he's come across - SALT, Occupational Therapist, Teachers at nursery. He's just started with a new childminder who thinks he has ASD (albeit a high functioning variety - please forgive me if I'm using incorrect terminology as I'm quite new to this).

She's basing this on him not being massively sociable with the other children and his obsession with cars plus an unwillingness to join in games. He's not disruptive or violent or anything, just quite 'firm' if he doesn't want to do something.

He has no issues with routine changes
Reads emotions very well
Speech is excellent
He can read already (level 1 books cover to cover) and tries to sound out words
Loves physical contact

But he has some issues with texture and eating
Quite encyclopaedic knowledge of cars and planets
Has a ridiculously accurate memory and likes to repeat things he's seen or heard

I can see how he's confusing everyone but all the professionals are just 'wait and see'. But if he's needs help I don't want to let him down.

I suppose my AIBU is have you had a quirky child who has had an ASD diagnosis and how hard was it to get through to HCPs?

frogsoup

I'm a bit confused about it too - I think you really need an expert to have a look at it. I was very shy and anxious as a child and would have benefited from some help for this.

My DS has weak social skills with children his own age but he's not at all shy. He's very confident. He can be very social provided he's interested in the game the other children are doing. The minute the game stops he switches off and its like he's not even aware of the other people around him. I know other children with autism that are not like this at all. One little girl I kmow is very engaged and connected all the time - but can be very intense and a bit 'too much' for other children her age. Both children have trouble socially but it presents very differently.

My DS has a very strong imagination and can appear zoned out as a result - deep in thought. He replays cartoons he has seen in his head remembering them in detail.

My DS has very weak motor skills linked to autism so he hates sport. He initially struggled with hand-writing too but physio and OT has improved this.

His emotions are more intense than what would be considered normal. He laughs out loud watching funny films, he gets very scared at scary parts etc. I've seen tears running down his face when watching a nature program where an animal gets hurt - whereas other children would feel sad but not as sad as him.

He sometimes gets angry at school. He will shout out if he disagrees with something and cry angrily. This normally blows over after a few minutes. He will refuse to do work he views as pointless - but with a reward system in place this is improving. Other children I know with autism behave very perfectly in school - anxious about not breaking the rules but might behave with less restraint at home.

My DS also has some sensory issues with noise and light.

I think that school is often the worse place for those with ASD/ADHD traits. It's a place where you are expected to fit in, survive the playground, the rumbunctiousness of sport, singing, rhythm/music, art. Do as you are told.

I wasn't good at anything at primary school. I detested secondary school. Neither dd nor I have gone with the herd. The herd at school launched itself into provincial mediocrity to fit in.

The boy in ds's infant school who stayed in the state system, who was regarded as odd and who was assessed. Has just taken a first at Cambridge. A similar nerdy boy in dd's class who was regarded as odd and not one of the gang had three med school offers.

Raw intelligence does sometimes mark people out as odd. My DH has some very pedantic routines and definite traits but it hasn't stopped him from being immensely successful professionally - It's probably helped. His father was almost certainly high performing ASD with hindsight. He still worked in a semi professional job as a specialist engineer all his life. He was much less neuro typical than DH but he still did ok.