To try and find a way of telling my friend she has made a mistake getting a dog?

[PaulDacresButtPlug]

I board dogs, and also walk dogs. I have two border collies, who I love and have put in the hours and effort you need (and we have had issues with the younger one especially - both are rescue.) Due to the type of dogs I have, and now from experience of looking after many different other breeds, I am very confident with regards to what they need and take a lot of pride in it.

A very good friend has, on the basis of my two, also got herself a border collie (she didn't tell me until afterwards, and said it was because 'they are easy to train.')

I am now looking after this dog while she is on holiday for a fortnight. Until now, I had not seen her with the dog at all (the dog is now nearly 18 months old) so had no idea of it's behaviour.

She talks animatedly about the training she has done, but I am now suspecting this is more a case of her telling me what she thinks I might want to hear. Her son has told me that the dog isn't always walked, sometimes (as he is sitting is GCSE's) they 'don't have time so just throw a ball in the garden.') The dog pulls on the lead, has clearly very limited socialisation (not much idea of how to behave with other dogs, he either snarls or goes nuts), and does lots of irritating things like jumping up constantly.

I have mentioned via text a few of these issues and she has repeatedly pointed out 'he is just a puppy' or 'it's like looking after a naughty toddler, he'll be better when he is older'. She thinks the jumping up is cute 'because its like he hasn't seen me for years', and the constant whining or barking is met with 'a stroke or a treat' to stop it. The dog has chewed it's bed - it's one of those plastic oval one's with the higher sides - and cannot be left for long in the house without anything chewable being moved out of the way.

Her son does a lot of competitive swimming so they often take the dog along (as he cannot be left in the house) but left in the car but taken out for occasional loo breaks. He has walks on a long lead 'so he can sniff about' but she won't often take him off lead due to his recall. She appears to think this will resolve as he gets older.

This is a good friend of mine who I know well. I think she will be in denial that she has made a mistake, and wouldn't want to lose face, but I also think she needs to address the issues she has created before they get even worse. Or she needs to rehome asap before they get any worse.

I am dreading saying something but I also think I will regret it if I say nothing as its not the dog's fault. The dog is not 'just a puppy' or 'a bit loopy' and these issues will only get worse if things carry on as they are.

Or do I just butt out and leave her to come to whatever conclusion on her own?

I think you are being a bit harsh on your friend. You are comparing an 18 month old dog to your own, who are Seniors. She told you that they are working on training him. She is also looking in to employing a dog walker. Unless your own BC were perfectly behaved at 18 months, I really don't think you can be judgmental. Also, remember that whilst your training will have helped your dogs behaviour, there will also have been a lot of mellowing with age.

Dogs can't always be homed with someone with breed experience, as people die! What then?

I certainly don't think you should offer to take him (I know you said you can't anyway). He is her dog! In the early days with your dogs, think how offended you would be if someone had said they would take them.

Remember also, that dogs are hugely different in their own homes, than what they are like in a strange home, mixing with dogs that they don't know. It's chalk and cheese. He is most likely a lot calmer at home, so she won't be seeing him in the same way that you are.

I know it's really stressful when you are looking after dog(s) that are "misbehaving" (I also do boarding). I would decline to take him until he's older. He might need to be boarded with someone who only has a licence to board one dog at once.

Comparing an 18 month old to a senior? Dogs don't naturally just come to realise how we want them to behave. Massive pup has been really hard work. Every day we have lots of tiny training opportunities. Sounds like your friend just thinks they will grow out of it. Unlikely.
Here's mega girl!

Husky she isn't really training him though. Often he doesn't even get a proper walk! When I mentioned the constant jumping it was dismissed as 'puppy' stuff, as if it's inevitable.

Wolfie wow, she's beautiful!

North yours are too!

Madam isn't allowed to jump up. At 50kg it's not a good idea. The idea that it's puppy stuff is a complete cop out. If the dog isn't consistently told it isn't ok then how will it know any different. I have spent months working on the behaviour I want. Stand and wait whilst runners or cyclists go past, sit and wait before going out the door or coming out the car. Don't pull. Don't jump up. No grabbing me. Stand for grooming. Etc etc. it's been really very hard work. But we are getting there.