DH thinks we are teaching our 6 month old bad habits by putting food directly on the high chair table

[occasionallyclueless]

I don't agree! All he does is play with the bowl and tips the food out of it. And I don't think at 6 months old it is 'setting a trajectory' (as he says) of bad eating habits. This is becoming a bit of an issue with us. I believe all children need at this age is love and security, discipline will come soon enough.
Who is being unreasonable?

I have put it on the tray for all three of my children, by around 1 they have all eaten off plates with no issues.

Tray is fine at home. I never liked to do this out and about for hygiene reasons though.

Most six month olds are not at the appropriate developmental stage to understand the job of a bowl or plate.

I'd keep feeding him from the tray and introduce the crockery when he's ready :-)

He wants to teach a 6 month old table manners? He's being ridiculous

I don't think either of you are being U. I'm like your DH and think food should be on a plate or in a bowl and the high chair tray used as a table but it's personal choice.

If this is going to be an issue I'd be tempted to obtain a copy of the eyfs framework (I think it's called development matters now??) And show your dh that your son is at a very normal stage indeed.

Hmmm - presumably your partner thinks it's teaching him / her that messing the table up is ok when they're older?
But it's also really good for baby led weaning and sensory play.
What about treating the high chair table top as a whole plate rather than a table?
Our cheapy Aldi one has a accessory too that clips on the base table so you could prepare it off the table and put it down like a plate?
We've just started giving out 3.5 month old sensory stuff on the table top.
I think there's no right answer and the best thing is just to lay down the rules about table tidiness and stick to them.
E.g. 'It's never ok to throw food on the floor'
Hope this helps
Good luck xxx

Well I do hope that your 6 month old is holding his cutlery in the correct way too 😂

He is being ridiculous. What punishment will he be giving out if your baby refuses to use the bowl properly? The naughty step?!

What is the basis of his objection exactly? The mess, hygiene, the behaviour that goes along with BLW (playing with your food etc?)

He's being frankly ridiculous. But if he wants to spend his time constantly picking up cutlery, bowls and plates then I would hand the feeding over to him when he's there. He'll soon realise it's pointless.

He's being ridiculous!

Both my two eat/ate directly from the high chair table. Eldest is now 3 and has lovely table manners now as she likes copying us because she thinks we're the bees knees (most of the time). Youngest isn't yet 1 but she'll get there.

And you're right about love and security being the most important for them. DD1 has begun voluntarily tidying up her toys before we get home from work because she knows we'll be OTT delighted with her when we see her work.

She's still only 3 so we have our moments- quite frequently- but her motivation for "goodness" is that she loves us and wants to makes us happy. A two-way street in our house😍

Have a look at ahaparenting.com if you want some backup for your approach!

He's being ridiculous. It's how they learn new textures, develop their pincer grip etc

If your child were six, he'd have a point. Six months? He's ridiculous and needs to learn about child development. Laugh in his face

'Setting a trajectory'?

Does he blue sky think to run it up the flag pole? So you're all on the same hymn sheet going forward.

He's being ridiculous, that's like saying that if you don't make him wipe his own bum now he'll have a lifetime of expecting it done for him. The idea of discipline for a 6 month old makes me really really sad.
Saying that, you can get plates and bowls with little suction cups on the bottom. Maybe that would be a good option for compromise?

They aren't great at differentiating between a cake fork and a fish knife at that age either - the HORROR! Your DH is being an idiot.

He's definitely right. I let my now 18 yo take food off the high chair tray and he's refused to use a plate or bowl ever since. We have to tip his dinner straight onto the table. And a this finger foods nonsense too - he still eats all foods with his hands.

As long as you're not pouring soup on the tray and expecting him to lap it up like a dog then I can't see the problem.

I'm regularly told by other parents that my DC have beautiful manners, particularly their table manners.

We started out with Baby Led Weaning and food on high chair tables just like you.

I can take my DC anywhere to eat, including pretty fancy restaurants, and they behave perfectly appropriately. They haven't learned any bad habits.

Has your DH actually done any research on BLW or early years development because it doesn't sound like it?

My two both had food directly on the tray and now eat fine!

All three of mine ate directly off the high chair table

At 18, 15 and 14 they all now eat off the floor

No my mistake, off a plate on a table with a knife and fork

Sounds similar to floor in my defence

I would point out that children learn a lot by watching. If I put food on the table in front of my kids they would think I'd gone mad and go and help themselves to a plate and cutlery. Yet all of them had food placed on the high chair tray and a lot most of that food was hurled, worn or played with. He should give your baby some credit, he's not going to eat with his fingers when he's at school!

It is essential that your baby is able to explore food. I think if your DH has this attitude it is going to make meal times very fraught in future.

Your child will learn appropriate behaviour by you showing them what to do but this will obviously take years.

I like the previous posters suggestion of the EY document or maybe get your HV involved with the discussion.

I mean, you can get this sort of nonsense where the plate stays on the tray via a suction cup on the base, but you'd be better off showing him a child development book and winning the argument, because it only gets worse - there are tons of "milestones" (they're not milestones) coming up that are a massive pain in the arse if you have to force the kid when they're not ready - getting off of bottles, sleeping in a big bed, getting out of nappies - that kind of stuff. My experience with this stuff is that if you're having to make a big effort, it's too early - when they're ready, it all goes fairly easily. So you can save yourself a lot of hassle if you're willing to resist the pressure to be the first to toilet train etc. Which will be no problem for you, it sounds like, but you need your DH on the same page.

Can I ask people derails the thread - how do you clean w baby up after a BLW session??? She makes soooo much mess, mashes it into her hair etc - do I seriously need to bath her after every meal?? And at the moment I have to sweep and mop the floor after every meal! It's making me want to keep her exclusively breastfed for life, I can only face one meal a day at the mo - she's not quite 6 mo - and I'm dreading having to go up to three!