DH thinks we are teaching our 6 month old bad habits by putting food directly on the high chair table

[occasionallyclueless]

I don't agree! All he does is play with the bowl and tips the food out of it. And I don't think at 6 months old it is 'setting a trajectory' (as he says) of bad eating habits. This is becoming a bit of an issue with us. I believe all children need at this age is love and security, discipline will come soon enough.
Who is being unreasonable?

We put food straight onto the table. Our child now has excellent table manners. They're not connected.

Ahahahaha. His way will set a trajectory alright. All the way from the bowl to the floor, to your hair, your face, the ceiling, everywhere.

Tell him he's an eejit. HTH.

Yep. Done it with both of mine. Ds1 took ages to use plate and cutlery because I'm lazy but ds2 (15mo) copies so prefers to use a spoon and tidies up after himself. He picks up bits of mess and puts it on his plate when he's had enough.
With the mess I put a full cover bib on him and have a flannel, dishcloth and a wipe clean oilcloth under his chair. I use a lot of kitchenroll! 3.3yo hardly makes any mess now apart from deliberate spillages when he has a tantrum. But he gets consequences for that.
Ultimately they really love being praised and having our attention so unless they are doing something dangerous I try distraction techniques. 3yo occasionally gets threatened with a 'sit and think' timeout on the step or a toy removed. The 1,2,3 countdown is working very well at the momentrance. He hasn't yet questioned what happens after 3.

I can see his POV re teaching her the difference between plates & tables, however, there's plenty of time to move to a plate/bowl before she notices the difference between tables & plates & it causes any confusion for her.

However, I prefer to use bowls & plates. Not so much for a snack like a rice cake or a few carrot sticks, but for meals definitely. If they tip it out, fine, but I just can't bring myself to put things straight on the high chair top. It just feel really wrong, to me, to put spaghetti & sauce etc straight onto what is essentially a table top.

I'm sure there must be a compromise there?

She's very young lela. Food is for fun at this stage. I limit how much I put in front of ds2 and sippy cup I try to keep hold of otherwise he likes to pour it everywhere.

lela

We got a massive wipe clean table cloth for the floor, we still have it

In good weather we sat outside

I don't think it really matters either way, so he can do it his way and you yours. I have to say, I always put food on a plate or a bowl.

We did BLW with my son, he's 2 in October & can use cutlery & plates better than our 6 year old who was spoon fed from bowls so I don't think eating from the tray is going to lead to a 10yr old eating with their hands!

lelapaletute

I occasionally considered mealtimes in the bathtub!

I certainly sometimes picked meals that were less difficult to clean up after when I simply couldn't face it.

I definitely considered spoon feeding with their arms inside their clothing.

...and I had those suckable pouches with relatively mess free 'sides' for when we ate at other people's houses etc.

I spent a LOT of time muttering 'this too shall pass' whilst using a wet face cloth to wipe homous from top to toe & that was just me 😂

I'm guessing this is your first child?

lela (god I love that band! We saw them in London once up in Archway or somwhere, everyone was dancing in the aisles like crazy people) the amount of mess does go down a bit as time goes on but no point lying, it is extremely messy in the early days. I got a bunch of microfibre floor cloths off of Amazon, found it easier to just wipe up all the food with a damp cloth than try to sweep and mop. I used Ikea highchairs - both the tray and chair can be washed in the dishwasher, although I only did that once or twice. And yeah, either an ikea tunic thing or just accept that changing time is after dinner...

My DS had his food off the tray at first as he would just pick a bowl or plate up and throw it over the side! He's now 1.5 and uses a plate, bowl, fork and spoon.

I can pretty much guarantee that she won't be eating off the table when she is 14 so that's one less thing for him to stress about. In fact none of mine are 14 yet but they all seem to have mastered the whole plate concept.

My two ate off the tray, except for mushy things like mash. They were both using bowls, plates and cutlery appropriately and effectively by about 17 months. Learning to eat comes in stages and your DH needs to realise this is just the first stage.

Thank you so much for all your replies and helping me to feel less crazy! And some of your replies have made me chuckle!

We are doing baby led weaning - I will offer him a spoonful of puree (from a bowl out of reach - we currently have beetroot all over the walls), and various sticks of vegetables directly on the (cleaned) table surface.

Thank you chickenbhuna I will look this up now. He likes research and evidence to back up my claims so this will be helpful.

iklboo

Pengggwn absolutely - you wouldn't believe the kinds of things he has niggles over. His family are generally a bit neurotic and I'm pretty chilled about most things so it's bringing up a few differences of opinion.

benlui this is one of the things that gets me - I am reading about child development constantly, not just forums and websites but proper books about child psychology etc - and he has read SWEET FA. He just says it's his 'instinct'. He's incredibly non-confrontational to the point that he stores all these things up and it all comes out at once (even though I know he's been storing it up but I know better now than to pester him to get it out so I just leave him to it), but I'm the type that likes to get issues out and dealt with, that way they don't fester. Anyway, the reason I mention this is because he doesn't respond well to me being argumentative so I have to phrase things very carefully and so often things don't have the strength I mean them to i.e. what I want to say is 'DO SOME BLOODY READING THEN TALK TO ME YOU ANNOYING SOD' but what comes out is 'well you see my love I do do a lot of reading and it has been suggested that.....and so you see that's where I'm coming from.....and I can totally show you the research I've read if you just give me a minute.....'. Doesn't have the same effect does it! Sigh.

Thank you so much for the replies I've not responded directly to - it's so good to hear that all your kids are now beautifully mannered despite having been brought up feral like mine is!

lelapaletute we have the same issue - bath is an absolute must straight after dinner (don't bother with breakfast and lunch because they seem to be less messy). Just ordered one of those plastic overall thingies from amazon too.

fakenamefornow Yep this is the first - can you tell hopefully if we are lucky enough to have another we won't have these issues!

AnnieAnoniMouse we're not at spaghetti stage yet but I agree - I don't think I'd put it on the table that would feel odd - and also the mess . I guess it will be a case of spoon feeding him? Not sure!

Simple, just get him to give him the food on a plate on the high chair tray and see what happens.

He'll soon get the problem when the plate is lifted up and launched along with the food.

lelapaletute - I fed outside when possible and only used an antilop because you can put it in the dishwasher. A plastic tablecloth that you can hose down under the the chair is also useful.

Or get a dog :o

A 6 month old in a highchair to eat? That's early for highchair eating isn't it, or have I forgotten completely as I have none under 10years old anymore? I think I was only giving mine mashed potato in the bouncy chair thing at that age! (Stationary bouncy chair, obviously).

Seeing as it's super rare to see any adult just slop food onto a table and grab at it, your dh might be overreacting. Just a bit. Carry on as you are

I just strip ds, he eats in a nappy! Directly from the tray but I have just literally just ordered a plate/tray/compartment thing from amazon for when he's a bit older. There plenty of time for table manners, every thing is supposed to be fun at this age, especially food! I've loved BLW so far, everything is washable and it won't be forever is my mantra. 😊

Food on floor...get a dog? 😁

Although I'm a bit of a stickler for table manners - my father was even more of a stickler but I was grateful to him later - I wouldn't even give it a thought at 6 months!

Plenty of time for all that later, when they're old enough to sit at the table, manage a knife and fork and understand what e.g. Keep your mouth shut while you're eating! means.

Ridiculous to make a thing of this. Do you know any older child or adult who insists on eating straight from the table?