To say Mil can't come on holiday

[Sklong7]

My first time posting on here.....

Last week, my Dp, our closest friend and I were talking about going on holiday with the kids. We all went a few years ago and it was great.

So we were looking at where to go and prices etc. Friend said she'd pay the deposit so we could book there and then. All good, booked it and looking forward to going.

Then a few days later, Dp decided to invite his mum without discussing with me or our friend. I've said in clear English that I don't want her coming as she is very awkward, she doesn't make any effort with the kids, she lives a 10 minute drive away yet she only comes over twice a month (and doesn't interact with them in any way) she doesn't talk to me at all. And she has a very aggressive manner about her, the way she talks to my Dp is awful, yet he's keen to keep her happy.

She's met our friend a few times and has ignored her every time, even when friend has made an effort to talk to her.

So what I need to know is AIBU to not want MIL to come?

I've been in holiday with my ILs and we're planning another one next year. They're all lovely people. That said, if my DH had done this I'd be horrified. Quite apart from your problems with your MIL, your friends have been really kind in sorting out the deposit and they'll presumably not be happy with a relative stranger joining them on holiday.

YANBU and your DH needs to uninvite MIL immediately. If he refuses, then he needs to apologise profusely to your friends and offer to pay them back their (presumably unrefundable) deposit. Or do as another poster said and let him go on holiday with MIL while you and the kids go with your friends.

If you're completely lumbered with you MIL then the priority becomes not making your friend have a spoiled holiday. If there's no other choice you could consider transferring your friend's holiday booking to your MIL and giving your friend a complete refund.

Obviously though a better solution would be to stick with the holiday plan originally offered to your friend.

It doesn't really matter if it's MIL or who it is; inviting someone else on a holiday without checking with everyone is breathtakingly stupid/selfish/both.

YANBU to tell him this, and tell him no, she's not coming; that would be a different holiday and not the one you've been planning.

No, you are def not being unreasonable! What was he thinking?

He will either have to univite her or go with her by himself.
You and dc will be going with your friends.

It's not his place to invite his mother.

I feel so sorry for your friend, that is not the holiday she'll have been banking on

The sarcastic side of me thinks he invited his Mumsy along because

she will be all 'What a wonderful son to bring me along'

Without him having to lift a dammed finger entertaining his mumsy. Like he would have to if he took her out on his own.

(((((((Hugs)))))) You OP

If I was the friend I'd be absolutely livid, and would cancel the booking. If that wasn't an option, I'd expect/demand that you take over the booking and reimburse me every penny I'd already forked out.

Your husband is beyond rude!

You dealt with this today right??

Anyone would be being totally unreasonable to invite anyone on a holiday that has already been arranged, without consulting the people that have already booked, even before you throw in the dynamics or the personality of his mother.
Of course YANBU.

Your partner SERIOUSLY fucked up. It's bad enough to invite her without consulting you, but to not ask your friends is really horrible. I'd be livid if I were you, and I'd be fucking furious if I were your friend. Tell him he needs to fix this, NOW. This is his disaster to clean up, not yours.