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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Friends with annoying habits!

26 replies

malificent7 · 20/07/2017 14:59

She laughs uf i tell her any ofmy misfortunes...
Me: i lost my job.
Her : giggle
me: my car has something wrong with it.
Hee: giggle
me: My class were gaed work today.
Her: giggle.

Drives me up the wall!
Please share yours.

OP posts:
Original poster
malificent7 · 20/07/2017 14:59

Hard even!

OP posts:
Justhadmyhaircut · 20/07/2017 15:03

Friend who talks about nothing but jailbird exh who she had the police install all sorts of panic room shit in her home- but still allows details of her entire life to filter through to him via his friend. .
Complete waste of police time and resources and makes me so mad.

fuckoffdailysnail · 20/07/2017 15:10

One friend is always fucking late, by about 45 mins! I rarely see her anymore

thatorchidmoment · 20/07/2017 15:14

I have a friend who needs constant and repeated reassurance about everything. She frets that her DS8 is being left out at school; that he isn't the cleverest in the class at everything; that she is being left out if any of her friends meet up for coffee; that people don't invite her to everything; that her DD6 is a social pariah because she didn't have a fidget spinner; that her immaculate house is in some way deficient; that she is a terrible mother for reasons that change weekly; that people look at her cycling kit and think she's mentally ill...!?

It's completely exhausting to try and reassure her, and if you suggest that she should consider getting help to address the anxiety that underlies her insecurities, she shuts down and denies it's a problem, saying that 'everyone' feels the way she does.

I have insecurities and worries over things, but I really really don't obsess over them in the way she does. DH thinks I need to ditch her as she is pretty hard work, and it winds him up just hearing about her second hand.

Namechangetempissue · 20/07/2017 15:17

My friend can't have an independent thought or idea. Copies everything I do openly from clothing to cars to medical diagnosis (seriously). Drives me mad. I haven't seen her now for about a year because of it.

gamerchick · 20/07/2017 15:18

It's a nervous laugh OP or nervous reflex. It's not that she finds things funny.

growinglavender · 20/07/2017 15:21

Faffer. Going anywhere is a huge palaver as she dashes about for her keys, phone, oh, should she return that scarf to Aunt Mabel as we are going by Aunt Mabel's? Charge about looking for the scarf. (We will never get to Aunt Mabel's.) Going shopping with her is a nightmare. I just won't do it now as when I was pregnant I actually fainted as she was faffing for so long in a very hot, very smelly shop.

She had a baby last year and she's worse now!

growinglavender · 20/07/2017 15:21

It's still not appropriate gamer

growinglavender · 20/07/2017 15:26

Oh AND, while I'm at it, as lovely as her baby is, I wish he didn't come along to EVERYTHING.

And I have no support whatsoever so I frequently do have to cart my children along to various things but said friend has oodles of people falling over themselves to look after her baby. Sometimes I'd like to talk without constantly having to stop and clap in admiration because he coughed!

BenedictCumberbeyatch · 20/07/2017 15:27

She's always late! Always! 45 mins an hour! I lost my temper with her last time and she got really defensive and didn't speak to me for a week Hmm
She's meant to be coming over after school tomorrow we'll see if she's on time.

SheSparkles · 20/07/2017 15:30

My friend can't accept that if I have a different opinion from her it's not wrong, it's just a different opinion.
She takes offence at tiny little things and will argue with people till she's blue in the face....we've been in a couple of holidays abroad together, which have been good...on one of them We were asked if we were English (she is, I'm not) and I said no, I was Scottish and she had an almighty go at me for not just saying I'm English 🙄. If I'd been asked if I was British I'd have said yes....I've deliberately drifted quite a bit away from her since her last visit

numbmum83 · 20/07/2017 15:35

My friend who moans almost daily atm how she's not well. Feels so tired , drained . She will ask if we can meet up on a certain day and every single time will cancel coz she feels tired . I don't even attempt now to meet up with any of my friends coz all of them let me down. "We will meet up Wednesday" ... Wednesday comes and either no communication or they reply saying can we meet next week... I haven't seen my best friend for about 6 month's for same reason...
No point having friends anymore and I just get with stuff by myself and don't bother making any plans

Liiinoo · 20/07/2017 15:41

One friend will tell a long involved story. Then someone else joins the group and she repeats the same story word for word, and does it over and over again. It's as if she can only keep one thought in mind for the duration of the evening.

Another one has a manic cackle of a laugh. On one occasion DH was just about to put his key in the front door when he heard her laughing within. He turned around and walked to the pub and texted DSD to tell him when said friend had left and it was safe to come home.

God knows what they find annoying about me - I hope I never find out!

dowhatyouwish · 20/07/2017 15:44

I have a friend who gentle taps/hits me every time she wants my attention or is excited about making a point/telling me something. I HATE it!!!

ZaraW · 20/07/2017 15:49

I have a friend who is often 2-3 hours late and she sulks when I get annoyed. I see her once a year for a weekend currently as I'm working overseas. It would be nice if she bothered to make the effort.

Another one never keeps in touch but when she does is really OTT about what good friends we are. I'm planning to cut all ties with her.

funkynoodle · 20/07/2017 15:52

This is not so much my friends fault but, she tolerates it.

She has the most selfish, self absorbed and horrible partner ever.

My partner and I invited them out for dinner to celebrate them moving in together. We picked them up as neither of them driver. She talked away and he didn't even say hello when he got into the car. I initiated conversation and this was fine but, never asked about us.

Got to the restaurant and whispered under his breathe he hated the place which of course I heard. I was a little cross and made a comment that noone was going to force him to eat if he didn't want too. At this point my partner was furious.

Took my comment to heart and proceeded to order a steak dinner with two sides and three drinks! (I know we invited him out but be mindful of costs when someone else is paying) My partner was red in the at the end as he didn't speak to us once and my friend could sense the tension. She tackled him at the table and he shrugged.

I got to the counter and said that he could pay for his own meal as he has tried to take advantage. He nearly dropped when his own meal came to over £50. Paid it and as you can expect we never spoke again. Also lives with her and has refused to pay rent but, I don't get involved. Wish my friend would see him for what he is and get rid.

babsjonhson · 20/07/2017 15:53

2-3 hours late? Bloody hell I'd of left / cancelled at 45 mins late!

user1492692527 · 20/07/2017 15:56

Really old friend now thinks she's an expert on something I have extensive experience of. Gets arsey if she thinks I'm disagreeing with her choices on said subject, when I am genuinely interested in why she has chosen to do something. I usually back off as it's not worth it, but snigger to myself quietly as if she can get so defensive about it perhaps she knows she's wrong... Grin

ZaraW · 20/07/2017 16:06

Babs she texts me to say she's missed her train. I go shopping to pass time. It's really annoying.

TheHatOfDoom · 20/07/2017 16:07

My friend is lovely. If her partner knows something it's right. Last month they got lost coming to meet me. Her partner spent the entire day muttering about how it was my fault. He had decided that when I said get off the bus by the church then turn right I actually meant get off the bus outside the shopping centre.

NooNooHead1981 · 20/07/2017 16:08

One of my friends is a newly-qualifed nurse and has started to tell me about various healthy eating habits, the additives in food, how addictive it all is, why you shouldn't eat this and that, and generally turning her new medical knowledge into some kind of lecture quite a bit. I don't mind talking about healthier lifestyles etc but for her to make a sweeping generalisation about how all food manufacturers develop addictive food to target vulnerable members of society (!) and how diet contributes greatly to all illnesses does make me slightly irritated sometimes...

I do know that what she says is generally true but trying to eat lunch while she is saying that what I consume has 10% of the daily salt intake in it doesn't make for an enjoyable meal...!

HappyAxolotl · 20/07/2017 16:15

My mate is a photo fanatic and can't go 5 minutes without taking a selfie of us both. I don't really like having my photo taken but what the hell, she's a brilliant lass and I just make sure my makeup is perfect when we meet up. Smile

MouseholeCat · 20/07/2017 16:23

Friend who apologises so fecking much about things that really don't need an apology. It drives me up the wall, but I know it comes from a place of insecurity, so I'm very mindful about not snapping. She's also a touchy person but seems to have no idea of her own strength. She'll forcefully grab or hit my arm to tell me something. I never get an apology for that though....

Amd724 · 20/07/2017 16:33

A friend who interrupts you while you speak. All the time.

Another who has to always humble brags about her incredible house, lifestyle, and car (which TBH I'm certain they've overpaid for) but then complains that they're always skint.

And, I say this as a pregnant lady who very well might do the same thing, but a friend who sends me multiple photos of her baby doing ordinary things. Every single day. Taking a shit, rolling over, sleeping, being fed, I just cant do it anymore. And I always have to remark that the baby is so cute, when I just don't care how many bites she took of her food. She's never satisfied until you say that her baby is the cutest you've ever seen....she's wrong. Mine will be. :P Grin

Oblomov17 · 20/07/2017 16:57

Blimey. I do not have any of these problems. If someone irritates me, I don't engage with them.

So why are you all friends with these people? Who are hard work or draining?

But, few people irritate me. I don't get irritated by any of my close friends. Or if I did, I would tell them.