For wanting to buy things we need for house

[Regalparade]

Just had offer accepted on our first house bought with dp. We currently rent and have the basics such as beds, bedroom furniture and sofas. We don't have things like lamps, utensils and other odds and sods.
Today I bought two bedside lamps in the sale, kitchen cadees and a utensils holder for the kitchen.
I told dp and he completely bit my head off about buying stuff for the house. Apparently we can't go spending anything on the house yet because we mite have loads to spend on fees.
Lawyers letters etc are in the post, we have been told how much these are but he is insistent that it could be more and we need to wait until we move in before buying cutlery, plates etc and said we could live a few months without tea cadees.
I just think if we buy little and often until we move in we will be more prepared and have less stuff to buy and worry about. Dp thinks that's totally wrong and we shouldn't be wasting money on non essentials and wait and see what we need and how much we have when we move in.
We aren't totally skint either.
He wouldn't think twice if he was offered to go down the pub and spent twenty quid on a few pints though, but I get flamed for buying stuff we need for the House!

I'd wait till I moved in and I knew exactly how much money there was.

And if he DID go down the pub - I'd be reminding him that he said we had loads to spend on fees. He can't have it both ways!

It's better to wait until you have moved in. You will probably be offered tons of stuff by friends and family, and until you have moved in you won't really know what suits the house.

I would wait til you move in from experience. But you're first time buyers! Be excited, buy a few cheap bits go crazy BUT keep the house savings totally separate to cover all house expenses as required. We are just about to move as 2nd time buyers haha and this time we have most things and we're being very money cautious boring

I think it's totally reasonable to buy little things for the house - it's seems like your OH overreacted to me. Sometimes though, these overreactions are not actually about the event, more an opportunity to release some steam about something else, if you get my drift? Perhaps he's feeling quite stressed about the house purchase and then he took it out on you? I'm not saying that it's the right thing to do, but I have to admit I've done it often enough myself.

While I think it's better to wait it's hardly like you have gone mad and bought a new sofa or other big ticket item.

I'd be reminding him that you are saving money next time he says he's off to the pub.

I'd wait too. You might want to stick to a certain style or discover you need bigger lamps or uplights.
Also, the first couple of months are expensive. There's always unexpected costs. Boiler, solicitor searches etc. Ask DP to hold off on pub spending and save the booze for the day you step over the threshold.
You are right, he should hold off too. And congratulations!

It's totally normal to be excited about your first home. To want to buy stuff for it. I'd sit down and discuss budget. Clearly he's worried about money which is fair. Maybe have a slush fund and then what you think fees will be and anything left you can spend?

I understand this OP, I did this. It's nice to buy a few bits, it's exciting thinking of setting up a new home together. I think he's being mean, as long as you don't go mad and buy too much I can't see the problem.

I'd wait, but make lists, put money aside, and fill up online shopping baskets to work out some of the excitement.

I imagine he's worried it might not go through and doesn't want to jinx it or something.

He needs to chill though, buying a house is stressful enough without starting arguments over nothing. - I say this as someone who came quite close to pushing my DH over the edge with my stressing when we bought our house!

In this case I'd wait and make him pay half - for every purchase

Start as you mean to go on

Miserable sod!! He won't change

Set up a spreadsheet of all the fees (estimate high if guessing any) you need to cover. Make sure you have enough put aside to cover them. If you have extra spare money (what's that?! :) ) put it into a 'fund' for buying house stuff. It's essential to know where you're up to first. And it's a total double standard him spending money in the pub..!

I think its perfectly reasonable to buy little decorative items here and there.

Before I moved into my first home I lived with my nan. I had a big trunk in the shed and each time I got my wages I'd buy something new... Cutlery, a crockery set, tea towels, cushions, duvet covers etc etc. My nan scoffed and said I was daft.

When it came to moving in I only had to worry about buying the bigger stuff like furniture. I had all the essentials and some lovely decorative bits. I didn't miss the money because I'd spent it in small amounts over a period if time. My nan admitted in the end it was great planning.

I've done this kind of financial planning for big things like house moves, holidays, Christmas etc to reduce massive financial stress of trying to find the money all at once and taking a big hit, or having to go without for several weeks/months.

I'm with you on this OP

Why would you buy things to move them twice?

Nobody needs bedside lamps, kitchen caddees or utensil holders! (not actually sure what a caddee is)

They are luxury items.
You seem to have a different ethos on spending from your partner. Maybe a different view of filling house with stuff?

Maybe the time to address this is before you but a house together? I couldn't live in a house with pointless clutter in the kitchen.

I think he is being ridiculous and to those saying op is being ott how on earth is she? There's no harm in buying a few things here and there in preparation for the big move

The strange thing is it's normally me that's tight and careful with money and he just spends spends spends but when it's came to the house he's obsessed with saving every penny unless it's beer.
We were told by mortgage advisor what our fees are and the money is in the savings account.
We will need bigger furniture like coffee table, bedside tables, tumble dryer and dining table and chairs.
The house also needs a bath put in, new carpets and decorated in every room.
We bought because it's in an ideal area, close to school and high school, near both our parents and it's bloody huge with good storage. Just thinking about all the work is stressing me out.

It's hardly pointless clutter. I need something to store kitchen utensils and cadees are to store teabag, coffee and sugar. Hardly clutter when it's used for storage

Yanbu op I bought stuff before we moved in. Not loads but a few bits and I shopped in sales etc

Since when are lamps and utensil holders and tea caddies luxury?! I would say that was basic (inexpensive) stuff that everyone has?!

It's not like she's gone out and bought a gold plated 36 piece tea service and a solid silver cake stand ffs

If you know you've got the money op go for it and don't let him piss on your bonfire

And I wouldn't say there's always hidden costs? I appreciate it happens but not always

OP agree a priority list of what needs to be done in the house and then start costing it out. For example if it needs a new bath I would do that first before decorating or replacing carpets.

Once you both have a clear idea of priorities and costs it will be easier to focus the mind on finances.

Tell him it will be a lot cheaper if he treats you nicely now than if you have to sell the house and pay double the fees because you don't want to live with him after all.