For wanting to buy things we need for house

[Regalparade]

Just had offer accepted on our first house bought with dp. We currently rent and have the basics such as beds, bedroom furniture and sofas. We don't have things like lamps, utensils and other odds and sods.
Today I bought two bedside lamps in the sale, kitchen cadees and a utensils holder for the kitchen.
I told dp and he completely bit my head off about buying stuff for the house. Apparently we can't go spending anything on the house yet because we mite have loads to spend on fees.
Lawyers letters etc are in the post, we have been told how much these are but he is insistent that it could be more and we need to wait until we move in before buying cutlery, plates etc and said we could live a few months without tea cadees.
I just think if we buy little and often until we move in we will be more prepared and have less stuff to buy and worry about. Dp thinks that's totally wrong and we shouldn't be wasting money on non essentials and wait and see what we need and how much we have when we move in.
We aren't totally skint either.
He wouldn't think twice if he was offered to go down the pub and spent twenty quid on a few pints though, but I get flamed for buying stuff we need for the House!

I wouldn't spend hundreds but a few quid here and there isn't going to bankrupt anyone is it

I think he needs a lesson in picking his battles.

I don't understand your DPs logic. How can you not know how much your costs are going to be? These are finite numbers. You agree a cost with your solicitor and your surveyor. You know what your mortgage is costing and any stamp duty. And you get a quote for removals.

If you have all costs agreed / noted / planned for and you can afford this little tit-bits with your usual monthly expendiable income, then he is BU.

But, do remember that your house purchase is not a done deal until your exchange contracts.

If you've only just had your offer accepted, presumably you're not far through the buying process.

Mortgage lenders look at your recent bank statements for affordability now, so keeping spending low would be advisable until it's all sorted. Things can crop up on the survey you weren't expecting, fees need paying for surveys etc. - moving is an expensive business!

Can you agree to wait until the sale is a bit further along in the process?

I'm also intrigued as to how you rent & don't have plates etc but do have sofas and beds. Usually it's unfurnished or fully furnished- sounds odd you have big pieces if furniture but not the basics for utensils etc.

TheUpsideDown I'm surprised at your Nans reaction, everyone I knew had a "bottom drawer" it was a done thing back in the day I'm old in my 50's All the girls collected once they started work, dishes, tea towels, sheets, all sorts ready for a home of your own. I had bedding I took when I moved abroad, must have been good quality I used it all for nearly 20 years.
I think getting a few bits each month when you get paid is the most frugal way to collect, you get whats on sale each time, and shop Lidl, Ikea and Aldi and the house will be sorted in no time.

Have contracts been exchanged yet? Do you have the completion date?

If you are still just at the acceptance of offer stage then nothing is yet cast in stone and anything could still happen. DH and I have been through a fair number of property transactions, and one of the golden rules to remember is that you need everything in writing, and it really is never over till it is over!

He is right to be cautious, but there is no need for him to be a misery guts over you buying a few little things to eventually move into a place of your own with, provided you are not overspending.

I'd wait until you knew the house was yours personally, but it's a bit unreasonable for your DP to fly off the handle. Another holding off reason is less stuff to pack/move/unpack.

Also, if it's your first house people tend to give you gift vouchers for yonks afterwards!