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AIBU?

To ask for some advice??

33 replies

Ames33 · 19/07/2017 17:12

I have written on here many times before about my emetophobia and am getting help for it so please don't flame me and tell me I need help before I pass my fears onto my child!

A little girl at DS's pre school was sick today, she was in the same room as DS but not close to him. All was cleaned up and girl was sent home. Apparently she hasn't been sick again and has had some food.

I am obviously freaking out that he will catch a bug and be sick. I am very proud of myself that I didn't go and pick him up straight away, as I would have done this a few months ago. I left him there for the rest of the day.

Has anyone got any advice for how I can prepare myself for what might be coming? Any time it has happened before has been completely out of nowhere so haven't had time for this anticipatory anxiety to take hold! When it has happened before I have dealt with it, so I know I can, it's just this stupid anxiety that it MIGHT happen!

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Ames33 · 19/07/2017 18:40

Anyone?

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Bringbackpublicfloggings · 19/07/2017 18:49

Have you thought of seeing a hypnotist, I've never done it myself but have a few friends that have and swear by it.

MatildaTheCat · 19/07/2017 18:51

Well done for your progress. Have you had CBT? You are doing a 'what if, what if?' cycle in your head.

The reality is, as you know, that ds may catch a bug tomorrow or the day after or, actually, any day at all. Because that's how it goes with bugs. Most people aren't infected by actual vomit but by airborne contamination or touch.

Just do your calm breathing or meditation app and keep in mind all the coping techniques you've been practising. In fact you could treat this as an exercise in managing catastrophising.

Good luck, I do hope you all stay well. If anyone does go down with it you will all be fine.

ellarosemay · 19/07/2017 18:52

Hope he doesn't get car sick ...

Charming1234 · 19/07/2017 18:55

I used to have this when i was little. Absolutely pertrified of seeing someone be sick, constantly playing the scene over and over in my head when someone was sick at school etc the dreaded sawdust scene from the caretaker. Then i grew up, started drinking and being sick was normal every now and then when myself and others drank to excess (obviously not something i condone but i was a student!) And it cured me. I think you somehow need to face your fear OP. Not sure how in this case!

Ames33 · 19/07/2017 18:55

I am seeing a hypnotist at the moment, in fact, I thought I had an appointment today (would have been perfect) but it's next Wednesday!
I've tried CBT but might be worth going down that road again.
The thing is I know all the techniques and the rational part of my mind knows that I will deal with it, it's the phobic part of my brain that seems to win!
But hey, I'm sat here playing with him and not pushing him away so must be doing something right!

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Charming1234 · 19/07/2017 18:56

Oh and i also saw my mum very sick after chemo several times and so i just got desensitised about it all because bigger picture i wanted the chemo to work.

Pru24 · 19/07/2017 18:58

Had to look up ur condition to understand ur post, cant be nice feeling like that! I personally hate being sick or around it after suffering from really bad sickness during pregnancies & have to avoid certain food/drinks/places that remind me of those times. Have u tried being as prepared as you can, i.e. having bucket ready for sick, gloves, mouth & nose cover, plastic bags, something like oats or shake and vac (to disguse the smell) to put on sick if someone is? Humming whilst gagging really helps me lol

Allfednonedead · 19/07/2017 18:59

Sounds like you're doing brilliantly, actually. Can you do what I think of as 'sitting with the fear'? I try to acknowledge the bad feeling, accept it is real and then distance myself from it by noticing how I am dealing with it.
Then next time, you remember how it went this time - pretty good, actually, as you held it together so well - so you know you have that strength.

Ames33 · 19/07/2017 21:26

Thank you for the kind replies. He's asleep now, I'm listening to the monitor on tenter hooks! WIBU to keep him off preschool tomorrow for their trip out, or should I just think if it's gonna happen, it will happen!
I hate my stupid twatty brain!

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Bumdishcloths · 19/07/2017 21:47

It WBU to keep him off school because a completely different child was sick, yes - sorry.

LostSight · 19/07/2017 21:53

You have my sympathies. Been there too. I don't have any brilliant advice. I always gave a huge sigh of relief when 48 hours had passed after any such incidence.

Experience tells me that in the vast majority of cases, such low levels of contact are quite unlikely to result in illness.

If the worst happens, it's also possible in the vast majority of cases to prevent becoming infected using good hygiene and handwashing.

And keep telling yourself that you love your son and you will deal with it for his sake. Do you have some breathing exercises , or something to relax you at bedtime so you can sleep?

Do you have a partner who can help? My husband used to look after the ill child (unpredictable) while I cleaned up (not nice, but with gloves I could deal).

Hope you get on okay

LostSight · 20/07/2017 19:29

How are things going Ames? Hope you got through today okay.

Ames33 · 20/07/2017 21:05

I'm still on vomit watch here. Anxiety still high but I'm coping! Thanks for asking. X

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Allfednonedead · 20/07/2017 21:23

If you're coping, you're doing so well. Hold onto this.

Next time, you'll do even better.

Crunchymum · 20/07/2017 21:30

How did you know another child had been sick? I'm genuinely curious.

I'm an emetophobe. Not to your extent OP but to the extent I have never taken my 4yo and 2yo holiday through fear of one of them getting travel sick (just to give you some scale of where I'm at!!) It must be debilitating to have it to the degree you do and I'm glad you are having treatment.

I get the 'heart sink' when I hear about a child being ill (usually through the grapevine which is why I asked how you knew) but touch wood older DC has never caught a sickness bug from preschool. And he has been there full time since Jan 2016.

The only proper sickness bug he has ever had was in the Easter holidays and nobody else we had been around (including 2yo) had it or caught it??

Italiangreyhound · 20/07/2017 21:35

You are doing brilliantly Op.

Ames33 · 20/07/2017 21:37

I have always asked them to let me know if there has been any sickness, which they do. Then I just dig around until I find out who it was. I know, I'm insane!

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Crunchymum · 20/07/2017 21:44

Not insane. Phobic.

And I get it.

Kid pukes at school and I'm on tenterhooks for days incase the preschooler gets ill I do still send him in though

If he doesn't want his dinner / seems more tired than usual / seems not himself then I default to worrying he is going to puke.

I guess ignorance is bliss as I normally don't know about the bugs going around immediately??

Crunchymum · 20/07/2017 21:45

And yes you are doing well OP.

malloo · 20/07/2017 22:02

I know exactly what you're going through, emetophobia is a horrible thing to have. You will be able to cope even if he does get ill, honestly, you will, because you're his mum and you love him. You are stronger than you think! I am a recovering emetophobe, a hundred times better than I used to be thanks to Rob Kelly's Cure your Emetophobia and Thrive book. Sorry don't know how to do a link. But it has turned my life around. Please give it a go. Good luck

Ames33 · 20/07/2017 22:15

Yes I have tried the book, on my 3rd time through and used a consultant!
I'm struggling through it, just find it very hard!

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Apocalyptichorsewoman · 20/07/2017 22:17

No - you aren't insane - just phobic.

It sounds like you have made huge tremendous strides towards overcoming this, and I take my hat off to you. You might not feel it but you are doing really well!

Am not an expert or owt, but I would focus on relaxation, self talk to help stop you catastrophising, and every hour you get through, congratulating yourself. The anticipation of what may or may not happen can be more anxiety provoking than suddenly having to deal with it xxx

Haudyerwheesht · 20/07/2017 22:19

Did you send him on his trip?

Ames33 · 20/07/2017 22:56

No, he didn't want to go. It was pissing it down and he wanted a day at home with mummy.
I found out after that the little girl went on the trip, I mean, 48 hr rule anyone??!!

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