Meet the Other Phone. Only the apps you allow.

Meet the Other Phone.
Only the apps you allow.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

AIBU? Am I asking too much?

52 replies

TheEmmaDilemma · 18/07/2017 22:22

I can't be bothered to name change.

So who is unreasonable here.

I generally work from home 3/4 days a week, with a day in the office. This helps us as we have an old dog who will have accidents otherwise. I feel he often puts my job down because I 'work from home'.

I also generally do 75% of the shopping, cleaning, washing, washing up (no dishwasher) etc.

My DP does work longer days than me often. But sometimes in the office 15 mins from home, sometimes away travelling. Sometimes long days, sometimes away for days at a time.

When he has a long day or has been away and I know he's having a long journey back, I try to make sure I something nice for him to eat, I check in with him if there is anything he wants? Does he need me to get him ciggies, would he like vino, what would he like to eat etc.?

Today was unusal for me. I had to get up and on the road for 7am. I did 8 hours driving and a few hours in a meeting. As it happened I was back before him. However today he just had a day in the office.

I had a few wine servings left in the bottle. I poured myself one when I got in.

He did the same when he got in.

When I was still half on the first glass I said, can you slow down, I've had a shit day and I'd really like another glass or so.

"Yeah. I'll just go down in a bit and get you some more otherwise."

My glass, empty. Him 3 up. "But is raining now, you want to me walk there now?"

No comments on why do we need wine please.

AIBU that he is a selfish fuckwhit?

TLDR.

OP posts:
Supersoaryflappypigeon · 18/07/2017 22:29

I'd have just said "Yes, I do. You said you would."

Yanbu.

HipsterHunter · 18/07/2017 22:45

"Yes please, I asked you to save me some and you said you'd go to the shops instead"

TheEmmaDilemma · 18/07/2017 22:54

Right, so I'm not a fuckwit, and that's rude yes?

OP posts:
MrsOverTheRoad · 18/07/2017 22:55

He was selfish but you also need to consider your mutual "need" for wine.

AnnieAnoniMouse · 18/07/2017 22:56

I'd have probably said 'Yes, you won't melt unfortunately. It was your choice to drink it all instead of sharing it'.

Long term though, you might want to look at the dependency on alcohol you might both have & the distribution of jobs & general level of sharing/caring/love. There seems to be quite an imbalance going in there :(

44PumpLane · 18/07/2017 22:57

I've never understood people who only have one bottle of wine in the house, why do people not just have a fully stocked cupboard?!?

misses the point entirely

MumsOnCrack · 18/07/2017 22:57

Fuckwit. Deffo. I'd buy wine he doesn't like or hide a bottle in the shed.

SparklyLeprechaun · 18/07/2017 22:58

I don't know if it's rude or not, as long as he went and got some more wine, it's fine. Did he?

TheEmmaDilemma · 18/07/2017 22:58

clearly posters are missing the comment where I said no comments on the need for wine

OP posts:
TheEmmaDilemma · 18/07/2017 22:58

NO. He did not. He is sulking.

OP posts:
TheEmmaDilemma · 18/07/2017 22:59

And for those so worried, I didn't bother either.

OP posts:
SonicBoomBoom · 18/07/2017 23:02

Very selfish.

Does he have form for this?

FrogFairy · 18/07/2017 23:02

He drank more than his fair share of the wine then refused to go out for more as promised.

Selfish, greedy and lazy.

arethereanyleftatall · 18/07/2017 23:03

So to clarify, 3 glasses left in bottle. You both had 1 each. He then poured himself the third, saying he'll go and get you another bottle from shop. Then it rained so he didn't go.

Yanbu, that's not fair.

BrutusMcDogface · 18/07/2017 23:07

I think 4 glasses left in the bottle; two each. My kids would share that without even thinking about it (not wine though, ffs! Bad comparison! Grin) so yes, he was selfish and greedy.

I know you said don't mention this, but......the "need" for wine?!Hmm If this is the case why don't you have more in?

CheshireChat · 18/07/2017 23:07

It sounds like the wine is a minor issue compared to the fact he looks down on you.

Also you can't really dictate what people choose to comment on and it was obvious you'll get a few comments on your "need" for wine. FWIW - if it's an actual need, get yourself to AA.

MadamQuimby · 18/07/2017 23:17

Wow! OP doesn't have an issue with wine - if she did then surely they'd have more than just the one bottle in the house Hmm
YABU. He was being a dick. He said he'd get more, he made lame excuses and didn't bother.

IF you say you're going to do something then just do it. My DH does this a lot too not just with wine but chocolate too and it drives me bonkers. Especially when I've saved it.

Bottom line: You care and look after him and would probably have liked him to behave in the same way.
I feel your disappointment

Namechangedtoprotectidentity · 18/07/2017 23:19

Are you me?? Your situation sounds so familiar!
I'd be pissed off to not be asked how my day was AND if OH finished the vino before getting to the shops for another. YANBU x

Viviennemary · 18/07/2017 23:22

It's annoying but in the grand scheme of things is it really that bad. If he's generally not helpful and selfish then you have a problem. If not then put it behind you.

TheEmmaDilemma · 18/07/2017 23:24

There was no more in because I didn't stop on my 3.5 hour drive home to get some.

Again, I was home BEFORE him. Could I have grabbed some? Yes. But figured I'd get home collpase. And you know, on this occasion if he wanted to dig in he could fetch some eh? He knew the wine level and put it off. grumpy

OP posts:
Turvey94 · 18/07/2017 23:24

The OP specifically asked for people not to comment on why they need wine. People need to respect that! Fgs. She's already p**d off fcol!

How far is the walk? Grin If it's legit 5 mins away then YANBU!

TheEmmaDilemma · 18/07/2017 23:27

I just think, on this one time, I had a long day, why couldn't he do the same thoughtful thing I do for him?

He's not a shit by the way. He is very good in many ways. I just want to know if I'm being ott about expecting the same level of consideration about this, as stupid as it may be.

OP posts:
Turvey94 · 18/07/2017 23:28

100% agree with MadamQuimby.

TheEmmaDilemma · 18/07/2017 23:28

Legit, 5 minutes.

OP posts:
ImperialBlether · 18/07/2017 23:28

I would be really pissed off with that and, to be honest, I don't like the sound of him much!