AIBU baby & exs friend

[Frogboots]

My exs friend constantly wants our baby overnight, so I feel like I'm getting less time with him, however she never wants to have my exs 5 year old over to sleep, just the baby. AIBU to be a bit weirded out with how obsessed she is with the baby

How often is constantly? Once a week or more?

She wants him about 2/3 times a week but she only actually has him a couple of times a month

How old is your baby? How well do you know this friend? Does she have children of her own?

Tell her to sod off, you don't need to leave baby overnight with anyone if you don't want to.
If she wants to see the baby she can do it when she sees your Ex, she's his friend not yours.
Just say No, you don't have to say sorry or explain why.

10 month old, don't really know her and no she has no children

That's really weird. Just say no

Troels

Ex arranges it before I have a say & drops him off

Is this during your exes contact time with DS? Sorry I'm asking a million questions but this seems so strange to me!

She arranges it so her friend has him during my time

Tell her no! It's a bit worrying that you don't even know her that well.

"Ex arranges it before I have a say & drops him off"
Sorry, I'm really not following the situation.

Are you the resident parent?
Who exactly is this friend?
Of what kind of standing in relation to your ex (best, childhood, neighbour, friend with benefit, acquaintance)?
Does she have your baby during your ex's contact time?

If its your time with the baby then you can rightfully say no. Is your ex the main care giver? X

Are you saying she refuses to allow you to have your contact time by sending your child to her friend?

WhereYou

No she is but it's week on week off
My ex's female friend
They've been friends for a couple of years but not best friends
Very rarely

Does this "friend" think your child is a toy?! Or is she playing house? How strange! If your ex can't look after your DC then he should be returned to you. FFS my 3yo hasn't even stayed at her GP's without me yet, let alone my baby.

Lou - its more 50/50 however I've had them more this month cause she went on holiday and I looked after the children

Red - I'm not sure if that's her aim but it's a bit of a coincidence

Rainbow - it's mega weird, even more so that she doesn't have her own children, it's just her & her boyfriend

But that is the result, yes? That you can't have him because he is elsewhere?

Is the contact time organised informally or officially?

I think it's very strange, I'd think it was strange if it was my own friend asking to look after my child so much never mind an exp friend. 🤔

Is she or her bf a paedophile? You don't know. Do they have any childcare experience between them? Where does your baby sleep when he is there? I just cannot fathom allowing this. This is a 10mo baby boy. I have a 10mo baby boy and he has slept next to me every single night of his life. I get that shared custody makes things difficult but your ex farm your baby out to strangers (strangers to you) is not on.

Are you sure that he is actually going to the friend? Could your ex be using that as an excuse and keeping him home with her?

YANBU at all. This is very weird. What are you going to do?

Red - yes & informally, I still take care of her 5 year old when my baby's at her friends on my time cause her friend doesn't want the 5 year old

No - I agree

Rainbow - I don't know & it's worrying me, I don't have a clue.

XiCi - nope he actually goes, I've picked him up

Super - I don't know what I should do :(