To ask if anyone left FB and hasn't regretted it?

[CookieDoughObsessive]

I know this is AIBU but please be gentle.

My husband and I can't have children and for the third time in one month, I've come off FB with tears in my eyes after seeing yet another old school friend post pics of their newborns. I'm 39 so I guess everyone is having a flurry of babies as they complete their families. It's been like this all year.

We've had a number of IVF cycles and none of them have worked - it's the end of the road for us.

I guess I'm worried about missing out / losing contact with people, but trying to weigh that up against the fact that it often makes me feel so unbearably sad.

Would love to hear if people have closed their accounts and not looked back. I'd feel this reassuring I guess; it just feels like I haven't got the confidence to click 'deactivate account' - but I think my MH would be so much better if I did.

I left many months ago and haven't regretted it at all. It was a constant feed of over dramatic, emotionally needy posts vs stealth boasts, with little genuine news or actual interaction. Haven't missed it for a minute, feel much better without it.

Wow thank you all so much and for your lovely posts. I've been reading them and it's like a ray of hope and optimism shining through!

I was expecting people to say FB is not the problem and I should be happy for other people and shouldn't let it affect me. I'm honestly so happy to hear that actually - getting off FB is the better route for me right now. And very happy to hear that not one of you has regretted it!

Saying it's like a 'monologue' is so true... And 'scrolling through just because' - that's exactly what I used to do.

Thanks for the tips re the different options too.

MN is way better than FB

I left two years ago and don't regret it

Oh goodness deactivate and don't even glance back.

It's total nonsense...you're dragged into believing that these people live perfect wonderful lives.

I had a miscarriage several months ago and I sadly looked at people parading their newborns (I already have a DC who did not feature on my fb page through personal choice) and just felt utter despair.

I came off it and I've improved my MH vastly and I devote time to things that deserve it.

I'm so sorry to read about your struggle with fertility I truly believe you'll feel a bit happier without the distraction and charade of Facebook.

Xx

i have never had it.

I've never had a Facebook page, have never been on Facebook, have no desire to go on Facebook, and I have a very interesting and fulfilling life.

I left, I really hate facebook.

I came off last year and it's been great :)

I deleted mine 3 years ago, I don't miss it at all! It was the best thing I ever did. Sorry to hear your reasons for wanting to leave fb

No facebook or mobile phone here for that matter. Love living in my old fashioned little bubble!

Don't just deactivate FB .... DELETE IT...

I deleted facebook in it's entirety... it takes 30 days.. to give yo the chance to change your mind... Deleting FB wipes your entire existence.. your posts photos everything from FB forever......

you can only delete FB by searching and following an external link... BEST THING I EVER DID... 4 Years ago now x

Left a few months ago and it's brilliant. All I was getting was updates from people I didn't really care about (I stay in touch via text/calls/meeting up (imagine!) with those I think are close friends) and adverts for nonsense.

I made sure to trawl through my photos and save to my computer any I wanted to keep. Then just deactivated. It's annoying you can't leave entirely. Bastards.

The best thing? No more vacuous posts with #nofilter etc and people trying to portray the perfect life, when I know full well all the shit that's really going ok.

I'm really struggling with mental health problems at the moment and although I have a couple of fantastic support groups through Facebook, the rest of it is bad news for me. I've had an account for 10 years, although have deleted some during other bad mental health episodes. Now I think I'm done with it, I deactivated last week and its like an addiction (I was / am a complete FB fiend)

I don't want to delete my account as it has lots of happy stuff on it as I've used it as a diary in some ways. But also I've documented my health struggles and I'm embarrassed and ashamed (even though I shouldn't be - my friends both real and online have been amazingly supportive).

In plan to stay in touch with online friends through Messenger and I'm hoping to see more of real life friends because without the banality of their daily lives on a each other's news feed, we may actually find stuff to catch up on.

Hi OP I left for similar reasons as you - struggled to conceive, did IVF, lost my baby son to premature birth and labour (and subsequently death), and even though I'm pregnant again it's too personal and no one's business. Those who need to know, know.

I left over a year ago but had a stint a few years before that for about 10 months off it too. Best thing I've done!!!!!!! I don't miss it AT ALL.

I still have a social life, I still have friends, and quite frankly I don't CARE what people I went to high school are doing with their lives or what random acquaintances are going on holiday.

I actually can't stand the fact that it's all quite narcissistic too, a lot of "me me me oh look at me and all the cool things I'm doing"... like taking a tacky photo of yourself in business class on a plane. Like please I've been flying business class since the early 90s. NO ONE CARES.

The younger generation/teens aren't on it, it's just not that popular with them so it just goes to show it won't be around forever in its current form/is losing its appeal. For young teens it seems to be all about Snapchat and Instagram.

I'm also planning on getting a basic, non-smart phone. I hate mobiles but practically I need one.

I love my Kindle Fire though, ain't nobody gonna take that away from me

I left years ago when I learnt of the Facebook/Stanford University 'experiments', altering and controlling the nature of updates users saw. Without getting all conspiracy theory... I just did not want my emotions controlled.
If you would cross the street to chat to someone, want to genuinely know about their life...add the person, if not what that girl who sat behind you in Geography is having for dinner is not that vital to your life. I had a limit of 50 people, used to regularly delete/Facebook cull!

Maybe just have close family on there, as pp suggested deactivate knowing it is not permanent or find an app you would use Pinterest/brain training and use that to help with the habit of having Facebook there on your phone?

It is sad to hear you feel like this and it must be so difficult going through cycles of IVF

On my mum's last birthday before she died, we took her out for a meal in a local pub. On the table next to us were a couple who spent the whole time we were there, not talking to each other and completely engrossed in their phones.

Driving past a local seaside coffee shop on a beautiful sunny day recently, there were four young people sat outside at one of the tables, all of them, heads bowed looking at their phones. Not communicating with each other, seemingly oblivious to the gorgeous day, where they were.

Last Sunday we had a barbecue in the back garden and my neighbours were also out. I could hear the kids playing, so looked over the fence to exchange pleasantries with the adults. The three of them - mum, dad and grandma were all sat there in a row on garden chairs all looking at their phones. Not only were they oblivious to me, they were oblivious to the little ones playing, to the gorgeous day, to each other and everything around them.

Whether they were on Facebook or not, they were all just completely engrossed in their little handsets. What a way to live, really?

I use my computer for work and I come on MN but that's it. I don't want to live my life in a cyber world. I like the real world better.

AgainPlease You are so right about the younger generation. My kids, 17 and 20, had an account years ago but deleted them before even I did, which was 6 years ago. None of their friends are on it either. It's just a bunch of bullshit.

....of course, I've been absent from Mumsnet for at least 6 months (have lurked occasionally) and in the past week I've posted quite a bit more.

Mumsnet is easier to quit though. I'm not addicted..can give it up any time. Honest.

Left last March. Best decision for my MH. Depression and anxiety do not go well with FB and all the 'we're so blessed/happy/totally doing stuff you're not invited to. Also the casual racism that slips into even innocent things like a for sale group, or the local town.

Totally deleted the account a month ago.

I am on instagram but I'm selective about who I follow - the advantage is that no-one ever notices on insta if they're unfollowed! There doesn't seem to be the same connotations of unfriending like on favebook.

I mainly use it to follow cute baby animal accounts but it's become baby central for my friends recently - happy for them (despite my own issues) but the daily baby pics were a bit much so I've unfollowed them.

How to permanently delete your account

If you don't think you'll use Facebook again, you can request to have your account permanently deleted. However, after an account has been deleted it won't be possible to reactivate your account or retrieve anything you've shared on your profile.

Before you do this, you may want to download a copy of your information from Facebook:

Click the downward arrow at the top right of any Facebook page
Select "Settings"

Click on the link at the bottom of the main menu that says
“Download a copy of your Facebook data”.

Then you need to go to

www.facebook.com/help/delete_account, click on
"Delete my account", then follow the steps to confirm.

It may take up to 90 days for Facebook to delete all of the things you've posted, like your photos, status updates or other data stored in backup systems. While Facebook is deleting this information, it is inaccessible to other people using the social network.

Some of the things you do on Facebook aren’t stored in your account. For example, a friend may still have messages from you in their inbox. That information will remain even after you delete your account, so you will need to contact the recipients of you want it removed.

I have never even signed up to FB for all the reasons above, and have no intention of doing so either!

againplease Sorry to hear of your loss and all you have been through.

You have it spot it! Summed up brilliantly. I don't think the younger generation are that bothered and it seems Facebook is moving from a social network to a business promoting site!
Never regretted it, it makes you focus on those people you really do want in your life.

Left about 2 years ago after realising that every time I looked I felt worse off than I did before I opened it.
Not 1 regret.
Peace.