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To strangle my cat

31 replies

Tobythecat · 17/07/2017 08:57

Just got home, opened the front door to be greeted by shit truffles rolling towards me under the door. The cat has shit directly infront of the front door. Now I'm going to clean the door and underneath said door. Wish me luck.

OP posts:

Supersoaryflappypigeon · 17/07/2017 08:59

Poor cat-he obviously wanted to go out if he's done it by the door!

Not pleasant for you though. Please don't actually strangle him OP Grin


FretYeNotAllIsShiny · 17/07/2017 09:07

Is this a 'my cat is a twat' thread? Can I nominate my bastard cat who has taken to smacking me in the face to get me up in the morning. Or whenever she fancies some attention. With claws.

Also, she believes I should not read in bed any more. Wee bitch.


19lottie82 · 17/07/2017 09:49

Cats aren't dirty animals be nature. There is prob a reason she hasn't shat outside or in her box?


MusicToMyEars800 · 17/07/2017 09:54

Fret I lol at your post Grin my cat used to do that to me Grin


cushioncovers · 17/07/2017 09:55

Strangulation may cause an involuntary release of more shit so I would advise against itGrin


Kittencatkins123 · 17/07/2017 10:02

My cat has taken to waking me up in the morning by knocking things off my chest of drawer - e.g. A £100 bottle of Chanel eau de parfum (luckily it didn't break) Angry


Tobythecat · 17/07/2017 10:08

Don't worry I wasn't going to actually strangle the furry bastard Grin. I've scrubbed underneath the door and done my best to clean it up. I thought him shitting between the radiator pipes was gross but this tops it.

OP posts:

StumpyScot92 · 17/07/2017 10:45

Haha Grin My old cat was 19 when she passed away. She was still happy and purry and playful to the end but she did get confused at times and once left me a present on the mat in the bathroom. The dark dark purple mat. That I stood on at about 4am needing to pee barefoot....

Still miss her furry wee face though


Tenshidarkangel · 17/07/2017 10:45

I also nominate my twat cat who decided at 2am it was time to bat me in the face with a paw... repeatedly... then howl at the top of her voice... IN MY EAR (See also 4am Saturday and 3.50 am Friday) then refused point blank to get up this morning...


IloveBanff · 17/07/2017 10:47

FretYeNotAllIsShiny I've never had a cat, so apologies if this is a stupid question, but why not shut the bedroom door so the cat can't get in to smack you in the face?


MargaretCavendish · 17/07/2017 10:51

ilovebanf I don't shut my own (annoying!) cat out for two reasons:

  1. he'd whine and scratch at the door in the night, which would wake me up anyway
  2. cat cuddles in bed in the morning are the best thing ever and I wouldn't stop them for any amount of undisturbed sleep!

OstentatiousWanking · 17/07/2017 11:02

Mine pissed all over the draining board last week.
Trip to vets no UTI. But nicely expensive to find out he's just being a dick.
Then pissed in the dogs food bowl last night.
He looked me straight in the eyes while doing it.


MusicToMyEars800 · 17/07/2017 11:16

I love cats Grin my cat shat outside my bedroom door one night, I came out half asleep in the dark to go to the toilet and well... lets just say I could've killed the bitch, all in between my toes Envy


Foslady · 17/07/2017 11:28

For the last 4 months Foscat has decided she NEEDS to be out of the house at 3am. No UTI's as she uses her litter tray just before going out.

Like having a toddler again.......


FretYeNotAllIsShiny · 17/07/2017 21:15

Banff our bedroom door doesn't shut properly. And if I kick her out of the house overnight, she tends to slip in when dh leaves for work at 5am. Also, the fecker sneaks in during the day to hide, and just rises up at the end of the bed in the middle of the night scaring the shit out of you

Kittencatkins after having several nocturnal showers in bed, I switched from a glass of water beside the bed to a sports bottle.


Want2beme · 17/07/2017 21:35

Then pissed in the dogs food bowl last night.
He looked me straight in the eyes while doing it.
Love it. What a bugger.


DrablittleCrab · 17/07/2017 21:40

I've had to kick mine off of 3 piles of clean clothes this afternoon as we were having a sort out and clearance of wardrobes so wandering between rooms and piles of clothes waiting to be sorted. He just moved from one to another!


mumonashoestring · 17/07/2017 21:45

One of ours used to lurk on the stairs then shoot his head and paw through the banister to whack you on the head as you walked past.

Same cat waited til DH was home sick from work and vomited scavenged chicken curry all over the duvet he was sleeping under, presumably in solidarity.

Grotty little fuckers Grin


OstentatiousWanking · 17/07/2017 21:46

Yeah. He's a character, to put it mildly Grin


cakesandphotos · 17/07/2017 21:50

Ostentatious we also forked out at the vets to find out our cat was a dick when he piddled in the log basket. Fortunately it's a rural vet so only cost £45 but I was given a lecture on how I'm too soft on him Blush

Same cat spends all night, every night on my pillow. Not too bad until he sneezes. Too many mornings I've worked up with cat snot in my hair his record is 3 inches


Cary2012 · 17/07/2017 21:53

One of mine would drop a barely alive mouse on my pillow in the morning, to remind me it was her brekkie time (at five a.m.)

My dearly departed ginger tom would sit outside neighbouring cat flaps barring them entry into their own homes.

My Persian Blue sleeps across my neck. If I dare to shut him out of the bedroom he yowls like something possessed.

Watching me sewing up a patchwork blanket, that I had spent months knitting, before spraying all over the finished item was ginger tom's greatest moment.

I miss him.


caffeinestream · 17/07/2017 22:01

When I had my old cats, we were in a flat-share. My housemate once woke me up at 3am (I had to be up for work at 5), drunk and stumbling around the house. I got up for work as normal, but found when he woke later, my cat had thrown up outside his door and he stepped in it barefoot and hungover when he got up for work Grin


wannabestressfree · 17/07/2017 22:08

I am glad I read these and no longer feel the need for a fluffy prince :)


GrandDesespoir · 17/07/2017 22:08

So your cat shat on the mat?


Upsy1981 · 17/07/2017 22:22

If you shut your bedroom door, they scratch at the carpet outside the door which wakes you up anyway and wrecks the carpet. If you put them outside the house, they yowl loudly which wakes you up anyway and also wakes kids/neighbours. Its easier/cheaper/less disturbing to be woken by a swipe to the face!

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