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AIBU?

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To strangle my cat

31 replies

Tobythecat · 17/07/2017 08:57

Just got home, opened the front door to be greeted by shit truffles rolling towards me under the door. The cat has shit directly infront of the front door. Now I'm going to clean the door and underneath said door. Wish me luck.

OP posts:
OstentatiousWanking · 17/07/2017 22:31

Cat snotty hair Envy Nice. It's a good job we love them Smile

Aquamarine1029 · 17/07/2017 22:37

I feel your pain. I have FIVE cats. Which was kind of an "accident." My husband, daughter and I were hiking in the woods and came across sisters. They were adorable and followed us back to our car which was a half mile away! We just couldn't leave them. Luckily, all 5 are normally wonderful, but they can pull some doozies.

Apocalyptichorsewoman · 17/07/2017 22:41

So your cat shat on the mat?

There's a phonetic childrens learn to read book in there somewhere... Grin

AlmostAJillSandwich · 17/07/2017 22:49

We got a cat when i was 3, it always hated me. She was half tabby half persian so fluffy as it gets.
The ONE time it actually came to sit on my knee was my sisters 21st birthday, i was upstairs on the computer, and of course, she had just been in her tray and had a nice big log of shit stuck in her fur. Cue immediate shower. Fucking cat, it knew, it had to.

Other highlights was grabbing me around the head, claws out, piercing my unpierced ear and getting her claw stuck through it. And sticking her tail down the drain in the back yard which meant my dad having to hold her down and shower her, massive claw marks in the bath :P We have a knocked through living and dining room with one of the doorways baorded up, so the only doorway into the hall is right next to the half height wall, which she would run and sit on, ready to swipe at you when you tried to leave. My gran looking after her when we went on holiday was hilarious, she'd rig up a dining chair on a dressing gown belt to pull the door shut and keep it shut. She made me chase the cat around the house to lock it in the kitchen of a morning before i went to primary school as she was too scared of her so it began hating me, little bitch. It would hide under the table and suddenly dart out and attack your feet as you walked past.
She only liked my mum, followed her like a shadow, slept on her every night. My dad snored a lot so my mum would come wake me up to get in my bed if he was keeping her awake so i got relegated to the sofa. If i was in my own room the next night the cat would creep in, wake me up crushing my chest, realise i wasn't my mum, and piss off again.
When i was on the sofa she'd wake me up at half 3 every morning for food, she'd run head first in to my hand then meow in my face.

She could absolutely tell the time though, Without fail 5 minutes before my mums alarm went of in the morning (she got banned from upstairs by my very OCD sister after the shit in the fur incident) she'd creep up the stairs and sit outside the bedroom door howling and scratching to wake my mum up. She didn't understand weeks off though sadly :P

Hotheadwheresthecoldbath · 17/07/2017 22:55

My smartest cat on discovering that all other methods failed to make me get up resorted to licking my eyelids,worked every time once you think about where that tongue has been.

ireallydontlikefootball · 17/07/2017 23:05

2 of my cats are having a pissing war. All have been neutered and checked for uti's, the vet said it's behavioural.
I use the herbal calming stuff which plugs in. Not so many sprayings but boy do I know when it's run out!
One cat has even managed to blow fuses by peeing on wall plugs. Costs a fortune in electrician bills.
Still love them though.

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