Not to want this to happen?

[Kaz33]

My parents are control freaks, but comparitively wealthy ones:

They have always given the boys a cheque for their birthday /christmas of £300 each - which is great I have invested it in a unit trust for them.

But my dads latest idea is to set up a stakeholder pension for them which they can't access until they are 50. He wants to put in £3500 each for them this year. However we didn't get the £300 for christmas.

His reasoning is that he likes the idea of them thinking of him when he is dead ie; when they are 50 and they access the money.

Yes, i should be grateful and I know lots of kids get nothing from their grand parents bu the whole thing makes me feel uneasy. I would much rather that they had some money when they were 18 to pay for university, go travelling, house deposit or even blow on drink, drugs and loose women.

I agree with you.

I think it's really generous of them. It means that they can have a relaxing retirement and will the get the money at an age when they will probably be sensible with it. Yes money for university and a house deposit would be great but maybe that's something you could save uo=p for the,.

I thought he wanted to put in that amount every year, £3500 may not grow very much and will probably be meaningless by the time they are 50.

Well no while we are not badly off, we are not going to be in a position to give the kids a huge start in life.
Which is where no doubt my parents will come in, and as they did with me offer the kids money if they agree with what they are going to use it for. Their judgement always stunk with me and was manipulative, a situation that I do not want to happen to my kids.

Personally I think it's a lovely idea

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I just don't trust them that's my problem. I think for my family their money has been a bit of a curse - saying that I have never been poor so probably come across as a bit of spoilt whiner.

Have to agree the money would be more useful at 18

ignore the gift, its their money, just forget they have done something with it, and continue as normal

I think it is a great idea.

But they can't dictate what your children do with the money, can they? By the time your children are 50, your parents will be dead.

Putting the money aside like this means that your children will have a lump sum to access that they wouldn't otherwise have at a time when they might well need it (children going to uni, etc.).

Be grateful and don't analyse your parents' motives too much.

At 18 they'll buy a car or spend it on cocaine. Much better in the pension. Also at 18 the parents might decide I won't help with university costs as there's this money from grandfather you can use so it's wise to put it in the pension I think.

I think its a great Idea personally but I'd ask for it to be 25 or 30 so they can buy a house.

It is their money. They want to spend it one way. You want them to spend it another. You think they are the control freaks...

Gosh sound like very generous grandparents and a great idea imo.

That sounds a fantastic idea to me - very generous! I think accessing it at 18 would be BAD idea!!!

Well I don't think you really get to choose when a third party gives your children money like this, but I do agree it perhaps would be more useful at 25 or 30.

I had a trust fund that matured when I was 18 - I blew it on clothes, a car and other fripperies ! I wish I hadn't been able to get it until about 25 - 30 - then it would ahve really really helped with buying first house etc.

My dd has a trust fund from gps too - she will not be wasting it !

I think it is a lovely and generous offer - could you maybe ask him to make it 30 - on the grounds that he could then SEE what good it had done - ie. see the house it allowed to be bought etc ?

I think 50 is a bit old but I had a friend at university who got his when he was 18 and wasted the lot. I got a small sum from my grandparents when I was 25 and dh and I used it as part of the deposit for our first home. MIL is thinking of leaving dc a bit of money and I've asked for her to say it is not accessible until they are 25 at least.

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Kaz:
"or even blow on drink, drugs and loose women. "

Hm...I hope that statement was made flippantly.

I think you are unreasonable, it is their money, they can spend it whichever way they may. In the end they don't have to give any money to you or your children....

This was part of the problem that this silly labour government caused when it changed tax law last year to make money harder to leave in trust beyond 18 without adverse consequences. Plenty of press articles about the dangers of 18 year olds getting money. 50 is a bit old but that may be the only easy way now because of tax law changes to leave it - either 18, or a complex trust with tax consequences or a pension. I'm not sure.

Sorry, why can't they blow the money on drink drugs and loose woman - sounds totally reasonable to me and sometimes part of the growing up process.

You think I am mad, but I know that letting my parents any where near my kids future lives and careers is a BAD THING. By giving the money that they want to give in a pension means that they got lots of time to manipulate them in the meantime.

No good will come of it.

But if they give it now they can still manipulate them presumably? I really wouldn't worry about it, at the end of the day it doesn't actually have that much to do with you tbh

I got mine at 18 and bought a house!

I would think its better at 18 or even up to 30 to get started in life as the better startt htey get on independance the better retirement they'll have.