Please or to access all these features

Add post

Watch this thread

Save thread

Start a new thread

Flip thread

Hide thread

My feed

Active Unanswered threads

Getting started FAQ's

Unanswered threads Acronyms Talk guidelines

Hide shortcut buttons

Talk

AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Flip

1 2 3

Original poster

I am being ignored

69 replies

muckypup73 · 16/07/2017 11:46

I have a friend, not a close friend and I give her lifts once a week, she has never offered petrol money and neither have I asked for it, this time she is coming on holiday and lastnight I asked her for petrol money via facebook, we are going very soon, she has totally ignored my post, yes Iam going that way,but it will cost me £60 in petrol, am I being tight?

OP posts:

Flowersandfootballs · 16/07/2017 12:26

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Original poster

muckypup73 · 16/07/2017 12:34

RunRabbitRunRabbit, no I just asked for money towards the petrol, before that i said whohoooo cant wait to go, I did not mention petrol before as we both booked sepratley and originally she was getting the train because she could not leave as early as us, then she could so she was then coming with us, and I thought to myself I need to mention petrol lastnight, I have thought about it for the last few days, but I could see us going and not being offered anything and thats the reason I mentioned it.

OP posts:

SlothMama · 16/07/2017 12:34

I'd tell the cheeky mare to get the train, doesn't matter if you are already going there she shouldn't be a freeloader

Original poster

muckypup73 · 16/07/2017 12:38

Flowersandfootballs, thats a good idea.

OP posts:

FrancisCrawford · 16/07/2017 12:38

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Original poster

muckypup73 · 16/07/2017 12:42

FrancisCrawford, on one of our journeys, I was very short on petrol, so had to stop at the petrol station, I thought she may even have said heres a fiver or something, nope, and to be honest it diddnt bother me that much, it was a passing thought.

OP posts:

blueskyinmarch · 16/07/2017 12:47

So you are asking for £30 as opposed to the £90 it would have cost her to go by train? Seems very reasonable request to me. Maybe follow up with a text saying you had FB messaged her but maybe she hasn't seen it and requesting for the £30 before you go along with your bank details?

Original poster

muckypup73 · 16/07/2017 13:14

Well I will be paying £60 in petrol, so i thought £30 is fair, in fact I didnt even mention a figure to her, I just mentioned something towards the petrol. I should have said £30 as I have a feeling if she replies she will offer me a fiver lol and yes it was £90 for the train.

OP posts:

kkkkaty123 · 16/07/2017 13:32

You shouldn't have needed to ask.

Ceto · 16/07/2017 13:55

I really wouldn't wait to sort this out if, as you say, you are going very soon. Otherwise time will pass by and she will turn up on your doorstep with her cases, and you will feel that it's too late to tell her to get the train if she doesn't pay towards petrol.

TupperwareTat · 16/07/2017 13:59

Will she be with you everyday on holiday?

Original poster

muckypup73 · 16/07/2017 14:10

TupperwareTat, she might be, then again she might not, we have different chalets,so shemight want to go and do something where as we might not, we might go do something she may not,does that make sense?

OP posts:

Giddyaunt18 · 16/07/2017 14:28

YANBU any normal person would expect to share transport costs.

PyongyangKipperbang · 16/07/2017 14:29

You will definitely be told by her that YABU as you are going there anyway. But YANBU at all. Sounds like she takes you and your car far too much for granted, time to stop the lifts imo.

Giddyaunt18 · 16/07/2017 14:29

If you take her, fill up on the way with her in the car and ask directly. "Right that's £60 ,so £30 each, ok?"

BabsGanoush · 16/07/2017 15:12

Is she likely to buy you any meals or snacks whilst you are away instead?

Original poster

muckypup73 · 16/07/2017 17:06

Babs I doubt that very much, the places I take her she could have offered to buy me a coffee or such like, so I doubt it very much lol

OP posts:

INeedToEat · 16/07/2017 17:37

I got away a lot with a friend of mine and even though I drive she always drives as she likes motorway driving more than i do.

I always give her petrol money. It's very rude not to. She's doing me a massive favour !

Justhadmyhaircut · 16/07/2017 17:41

I ferried my friend for years when she couldn't drive.

I bought her coffee /cake /many many lunches out when she split up with her dh and was skint. With a bloody good heart I might add.

One day she turned up in a Mercedes convertable - bought in cash (not divorced so no settlement or anything)

I often feel I am a share holder. . . Wheel or bumper maybe. ???

emmyrose2000 · 17/07/2017 03:53

She should really pay the entire 60, not just half. You're saving her the hassle and dearer cost of getting the train, not to mention the wear and tear on your car.

On top of that, paying for this trip in full would be a nice gesture for all the other free trips you've given her.

Purple999Red · 17/07/2017 04:35

With that, you could message or call her directly and say what you want in a nice way. You have to go straight to the point to know if she agree or not with your previous plans.

KeiraKnightleyActsWithHerTeeth · 17/07/2017 06:17

Have you heard anything back from her?

I'd go with a
"Just checking if you still want the lift as I'm working out what to pack and how much room there will be in the boot. The petrol should be around £60, so is cash at the petrol station best for you or do you just want to ping it to my bank now so it's all sorted?"

wannabestressfree · 17/07/2017 06:51

I would want it upfront.

AuntMabel · 17/07/2017 07:00

Is it £60 there and back, or £60 in fuel each way? Make sure you factor in the return journey. Still more reasonable than £90 on the train.

MargotLovedTom1 · 17/07/2017 07:01

I wouldn't even chase it up. The ball is in her court - you have your travel arrangements sorted. Presumably if she's expecting a lift she'll have to get in touch to make arrangements, so then is the time to mention money again (and even if she hasn't budgeted for it she'll have to take it out of her spending money). If she doesn't get in touch then get on with your own plans.

Flip

1 2 3