I am being ignored

[muckypup73]

I have a friend, not a close friend and I give her lifts once a week, she has never offered petrol money and neither have I asked for it, this time she is coming on holiday and lastnight I asked her for petrol money via facebook, we are going very soon, she has totally ignored my post, yes Iam going that way,but it will cost me £60 in petrol, am I being tight?

[muckypup73]

All sorted thanks guys, we spoke today and sorted it out

[Pinkhousealreadyinuse]

How did you get on?

[muckypup73]

Fernanie, it could totally be the case of that, but given previous, and on our short journeys if if she offered I would not accept,but this is different and yes we both have sn children and I do get that, I am just to say I sent you a message, did you get it? and then put it to her face to face.

[AllRoadsLeadBackToRadley]

Fuck no!

I'm a non-driver, and if driving friends won't take fuel money, I'll pay for parking, a meal out, or whatever.

Why do some cheeky fuckers think that, because you own a car, you're obliged to drive/pixk up/drop off? DH gets this all the time!

[Fernanie]

Maybe she read the message, thought "oh yes, I'll sort that in a minute" and then forgot? I've done that before with payments for hen weekends and the like. Also sometimes read a facebook message while using public wifi so not been comfortable logging into my online banking to transfer the message, then forgotten when I got home. Or wanted to have a quick think about whether it'd be more convenient to give cash or send via bank/PayPal.
When I later remembered / the person chased it up I apologised and dealt with it ASAP.
Maybe she's a totally selfish bitch who sits at home dreaming up ways to rip people off, or maybe she's a normal, human, slightly stressed-out mum of a SN child who forgot to reply to a facebook message. But probably best to assume the former

[Whatabeatifulnoise]

Yanbu

[GeekyWombat]

If she's using Facebook on her phone you can't view messages unless you have the separate app for it. Maybe talk to her in person before blowing this out of all proportion?

[StumpyScot92]

Is there a chance she's seen it and just forgot to reply? I'm guilty of that plenty.

As a side note I often do the driving for me and my friends (because the other drivers either have tiny cars or hate driving). Plenty of my friends offer petrol and majority of the time I tell them not to be daft for small trips but if it's a long trip there's one friend who can be particularly tight so I usually just put a message of 'right I've looked up and we can either get the train for XX or if you want I'm happy to drive us all and will only be about XX each in petrol give or take, what's the plans?' seems to do the trick

[Questioningeverything]

Yeah if she contacts you tell her because you didn't hear from her you've packed your car up and there's no room for her and her dc, shame, but sure she'll have a wonderful time!

[Troels]

Chancer isn't she.
I'd send a text telling her you'll see her there seeing she seems to have decided to use the train.

[Monkeypuzzle32]

If you're Facebook friends it's pretty impossible to not see a message if you've been on there.

[muckypup73]

blueskyinmarch, you can ignore a message, you get a notification telling you that you have one, but why would she ignore it?is what i dont get.

[blueskyinmarch]

Sorry cross post. Face to face will be better.

[blueskyinmarch]

I don't know how Facebook works as I don't use it but is it possible not to notice messages? Why don't you call her or text her?

[muckypup73]

I am going to wait and see her face face later.

[Ragwort]

Stop all this passive aggressive texting & FB messaging, why don't people just talk to each other anymore - phone her up, be blunt - do you still need a lift - if so I need a contribution of £X for the petrol.

[Rhubarbtart9]

Maybe text her and say you're not sure if she's read your message but thought it's fairest to go halves on the £60 petrol. So can she put £30 into your account. Details are xxx

[muckypup73]

It is around £60 there and back nd nope still not heard anything, shes posted loads on facebook, but its howing she has not read the message???

[MargotLovedTom1]

I wouldn't even chase it up. The ball is in her court - you have your travel arrangements sorted. Presumably if she's expecting a lift she'll have to get in touch to make arrangements, so then is the time to mention money again (and even if she hasn't budgeted for it she'll have to take it out of her spending money). If she doesn't get in touch then get on with your own plans.

[AuntMabel]

Is it £60 there and back, or £60 in fuel each way? Make sure you factor in the return journey. Still more reasonable than £90 on the train.

[wannabestressfree]

I would want it upfront.

[KeiraKnightleyActsWithHerTeeth]

Have you heard anything back from her?

I'd go with a
"Just checking if you still want the lift as I'm working out what to pack and how much room there will be in the boot. The petrol should be around £60, so is cash at the petrol station best for you or do you just want to ping it to my bank now so it's all sorted?"

[Purple999Red]

With that, you could message or call her directly and say what you want in a nice way. You have to go straight to the point to know if she agree or not with your previous plans.

[emmyrose2000]

She should really pay the entire 60, not just half. You're saving her the hassle and dearer cost of getting the train, not to mention the wear and tear on your car.

On top of that, paying for this trip in full would be a nice gesture for all the other free trips you've given her.