to report SIL sharing photos of other school children

[IsabellaTruffle]

Or should I mind my own buisness?

We both have DC, in the same school year but different schools. A boy in my DC year has had major issues with an abusive father, the mother left him and started again enrolling him at school and not telling DF where he goes, I know the family quite well as we live close and our DC are friendly. She did start letting the DF have some contact but did not tell him the school he attends (to keep some distance) things turned nasty and they now have no contact and thankfully he doesn't know the address or school of the DC as he kept showing up at her parents bashing the door down etc.

For this reason she doesn't share photos of him in school uniform and has told the school not to include him in photos shared online, the school have the normal policy of not sharing photos unless of your own child, which everyone in the school seems to respect.

My SIL at a nearby school, regularly shares photos of her DD with others, it grates on me a bit as she ignores her own school who ask not to share online. She yesterday shared the class photo (of all 30 reception children) in their uniforms and with the school on the bottom. She also shared masses of sports day photos with other DC in the background without caring/knowing who she may be putting at risk.

WIBU to email the school and mention it?

This really gets me.

Why do all you SIL-apologists think that her right to break safeguarding rules overrides the potential safety of children at the school?

Kids with non-photo rules at whatever level generally have to miss out on stuff enough and have had enough rubbish in their background as it is.

It's like the 'put them all in masks' for the nativity, or 'just don't let them perform' rubbish we get here at Christmas. Your desire to spread stuff all over the internet does not override my child's right to as normal a life as I can give them! If school rules say no school photos online, then stop thinking you know best and follow the rules!

Why is it everyone's instinct to report, rather than have a conversation explaining your pov? She is your sil ffs. Just talk to her. Family occasions are going to be very tricky when she finds out you contacted her child's school, if you do go down that route.

Also, schools do not have authority over parents to tell them what they can and cannot do. The headteacher is the child's headtacher, not the mother's! They can ask but am not sure they can insist.

It is entirely possible that all parents have agreed to their kid's photo being shared online. Or that none of them are hiding from abusive ex etc.

Now I do agree with you that sharing pics of other people's dc isn't a great idea but at the same time I have never had to sign a form promising not to share photos when I've ordered a class pic. Having bought it, for no doubt lots of money, she probably thinks it is hers to share as she sees fit.

Thing is though that it doesn't really matter what the schools policy is, its totally unenforceable. If people choose to share photos they can do. Whether they should or not is a different matter, but they can and nobody can really do anything about it.

I'd have a word with your SiL and tell her your concerns. She may not realise and be mortified that she's put someone's child at risk.

nobody can really do anything about it

Well, the school can ban photographing at any event in school, and not organise class photos. So the many responsible parents will miss out due to the inconsiderateness of the few.

I apologise if I've missed it but has anyone established whether or not the sil's school (not the OP's school) has a no sharing policy.

Exactly that. And then there'll no doubt be whinges from those that have caused the problems in the first place about nanny states and whatnot.

The school is being polite, and treating parents as responsible adults, by merely requesting this. But they can simply ban photography from all events if those adults prove themselves to be irresponsible. That would be a crying shame for all the children but what can they do if people persist in being selfish arseholes?

It's really tricky to tackle other parents on their lax use of social media. There is an oversharer in our school who took a photo of her child on a school trip and posted it - there was a child with their father from the class in the photo. Child is adopted - could clearly tell who it was. She then titled it x school year 4 on their trip.

Our school has a very clearly defined social media policy - absolutely no photos of anyone else's children except your own to be taken at any school events, and parent helpers should not ever have their phones out.

Someone reported it to school and she was bollocked - cue loads of passive aggresive fb posts about how hard done by she was and what has the world come to when you can't even post an innocent picture on fb.

Some people just don't get it and don't understand the danger. As for comparing a photo on the internet to same photo being displayed in 30 odd homes - what an odd comparison.

1. the photo on fb can be liked and shared by thousands of people - unlikely but possible. Most people don't have their fb privacy settings set to the highest so if a friend likes the photo and her friends like the photo, it can quickly be shared.

2. fb is designed to be looked at and commented on whereas a photo on a mantlepiece or hanging on a wall is background decor, unless the owner grabs everyone coming into the house and says "here, look at this photo". The odds of anyone coming in and looking explicitly for a class photo with a view to finding an estranged child and causing harm are so much more remote than the fb posting.

30 If violent estranged family are connected with the social groups on fb, it's a distinct possibility that they will see the photos. I know of a situation where an estranged dad found their child's new school this way and the school then had to deal with dad turning up and demanding to see his child. There was a no contact order in place for a very good reason. Very hard for the school and devastating for the family.

You might not have the kind of relationship where you'd pick up the phone for a chat but surely under these circumstances lifting the phone and telling her would be the simplest and quickest solution

If your SIL has shared a photograph of the entire class then who took this photo? If someone else took the photo then report to the photographer as it will be in breech of copyright.

Screenshot and send to photographer and school, then let them deal with it

Definitely report

Our school currently has a no sharing policy. We've tried as had as we can to allow people to take photos and not share them. There are posters at events, SLT remind everyone at the beginning and end of performances but it is being ignored. From September no photos are going to be allowed and anyone taking any will be asked to delete and leave the event. It's necessary to keep some children safe.

I apologise if I've missed it but has anyone established whether or not the sil's school (not the OP's school) has a no sharing policy.
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No they haven't. I said up thread in our of my kids classes it would be an issue, in the other it wouldn't.

All parents in both classes know that. People here are blabbing on about reporting her and that she has broke. A policy without knowing if a policy even exists in this instance - nutjobs

I hate pictures of my children been online I add a few to FB for family and friends who are abroad but these are locked so only a few people can see them I am well aware they can share them but I've know them my entire life or 10+ years I have school mums comment that I never have pictures of the kids up and I just reply "I'm sure when they're older they'll be making up for that".

Please report her if any child in her class needs protecting she's helping them been found. We will foster one day and people don't really think when it comes to social media because you wouldn't hand out pictures to strangers in the street would you!

All parents in both classes know that. People here are blabbing on about reporting her and that she has broke. A policy without knowing if a policy even exists in this instance - nutjobs

I suspect that most schools have some kind of policy re photo sharing online.
If the OP reports to the school, and there isn't an issue, then the school will not do anything - no harm done. Though it is almost certainly a breach of copyright I would have thought.

It is hard to have a class by class policy anyway. You have a policy that says class 4b is allowed photos. Then a new child joins and suddenly it is changed to class 4b no photos. Not exactly keeping the specific child anonymous is it?

scooby I think the Op has said twice that SIL's school do have a policy.

Agree vigorously with *AvoidingCallenetics". All this officious, self-important reporting bollocks. Just talk to her about it. Nicely.

You really must report this. When I was teaching there were children absolutely not allowed to be photographed, for child protection reasons. Sharing them on Facebook would've been really dangerous . I really dislike seeing this on social media.