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AIBU?

To ask a mum I barely know to lie for me

34 replies

AUsernameThatNooneHas · 15/07/2017 22:40

I was diagnosed a few years ago with a serious medical condition.
Although I'm hopefully past the thick of it I still get periods of pain. Recently I have been in pain and went for a investigation. It on its own doesn't show whether my condition has returned but will show inflammation. I am still waiting for results with possibly other investigations.
My mum has booked to go away to see my elderly parents in another country. She now doesn't want to go as she's wants to see what happens.
WIBU to ask a school mum who I don't really know to leave a message on my phone to say the result has come back clear so my mum feels reassured and goes.
I'm lying for a good reason!

OP posts:
AUsernameThatNooneHas · 15/07/2017 22:41

Just to add I don't know anyone else and my mum will recognise all my friends

OP posts:
Notsosureanymoors · 15/07/2017 22:42

Just ask someone you know better that won't mind. Hope you do feel better Flowers

Isadora2007 · 15/07/2017 22:42

Can't you fake a letter?

Notsosureanymoors · 15/07/2017 22:42

Ah posted at the same time! In that case yes do it if you think its best and you won't regret it later

Isadora2007 · 15/07/2017 22:43

Maybe pm someone here to call? The problem asking someone you don't know well but still need to see is the awkwardness that could happen after.
Here you've told us anyway! And we won't see you ever.

SweetLuck · 15/07/2017 22:44

I wouldn't want to do it and would feel really uncomfortable saying so. It is up to you mum whether or not she wants to go.

Floralnomad · 15/07/2017 22:45

No , because if something is wrong your mother will feel really betrayed , it's a terrible idea .

Wolfiefan · 15/07/2017 22:46

I don't understand. Your mum is visiting your parents?!
Don't lie. Tell her to go.
If you lie and then need further investigation surely she will find out you've lied?

Bluntness100 · 15/07/2017 22:46

I understand your mums position and yours.

If you want to lie, and I understand why you do, then just tell her it's fine. Don't involve another mum, it's not fair on her.

Isadora2007 · 15/07/2017 22:47

What will you do if your results are not okay?

Decaffstilltastesweird · 15/07/2017 22:48

Personally, I wouldn't do this.

I think the risk of her finding out is too great. I imagine that it could cause some hurt and distrust between you if she ever did find out you'd lied to her.

Sorry to hear you've been ill and in pain. I hope you are feeling ok now Flowers.

Boulshired · 15/07/2017 22:48

They would not leave a message and your mum might realise if not someone she tells the good news will point it out. Just lie to her, you would be lying if you get someone to do it.

AUsernameThatNooneHas · 15/07/2017 22:49

If I don't lie she won't go. If it comes back clear that doesn't mean anything without another more obstrusive test anyway.

OP posts:
SwimmingInLemonade · 15/07/2017 22:51

If you have to lie, why not just tell her "My results came back clear!"

Wolfiefan · 15/07/2017 22:51

It's her choice whether she goes or not. Just like it is your choice how much medical information you choose to share. Don't lie. It's a really bad idea.

AUsernameThatNooneHas · 15/07/2017 22:52

Swimming- because she won't believe me

OP posts:
VivienneWestwoodsKnickers · 15/07/2017 22:54

Massively unreasonable thing to do. Lying to her will only make her unhappy in the long term, especially if you don't get the results you want to hear.

Wolfiefan · 15/07/2017 22:55

So tell her you won't be sharing the results of the tests.
Seriously dysfunctional relationship. Confused

ChasingHighs · 15/07/2017 22:55

It's a terrible idea. Let your mum make her own decision about what she wants to do.

And as for asking someone on here to do it Hmm

user1495025590 · 15/07/2017 22:55

You cannot ask someone to collude with you in a deception

Decaffstilltastesweird · 15/07/2017 22:55

I think wolfie has hit the nail on the head there really.

It is lovely you're so worried about her missing out on her trip though op.

NellieFiveBellies · 15/07/2017 22:56

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Decaffstilltastesweird · 15/07/2017 22:58

I meant this post of wolfie's:

"It's her choice whether she goes or not. Just like it is your choice how much medical information you choose to share. Don't lie. It's a really bad idea."

HopelesslydevotedtoGu · 15/07/2017 22:59

I would just be honest with her and say that you want her to go, she isn't helping you by staying at home worrying, and actually it is making you feel worse as you want your grandparents to enjoy her visit.

If she chooses to cancel her trip then that is her decision.

If you do decide to trick her I think it is fairly likely she will find out, especially if the scan does show problems.

Viviennemary · 15/07/2017 22:59

No I don't think this is a very good idea at all. Certainly not to involve somebody that you don't know very well. Hopefully all will be well. The best way forward is to tell your Mum that the results haven't come through but you are hoping they are fine and don't have any reason to think otherwise. Don't fake letters or phone calls or other. It will lead to more trouble and worry in the end. Not to mention upset for the person being lied to.

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