DSC and Child benefit

[evilstepmuvva]

Have posted in AIBU for traffic.
My DSC has been completely poisoned against us by ex wife and whilst this is devastating we have accepted the decision because DSC is almost an adult.
However there is a case open with CMS. But in the last few months we have been told 100% that DSC is no longer in education and is in fact earning a very good wage (massively over minimum for a 17 year old)
However CMS are fucking useless. We asked them months ago to check whether ex wife is still eligible for CB therefore making maintenance payable and we have been told numerous times they would check. They still haven't.
We have then been told by a relative of ex wife that DSC is absolutely no longer at college and is in fact working full time and paying board.
Is there any way my DH can confirm himself whether child benefit is in payment for his child?
Don't get me wrong if it is then maintenance will be paid however ex wife fraudulently claimed for years as a single mother (while living with a rich fiancé and taking cash in hand from DH) unfortunately we didn't find out about this until she had stopped doing it.
There is a complicated backstory as to why we have been told of DSCs new circumstances but it is very identifying I'm just at my wits end because CMS are so fucking shiftless!

Your dh paying maintenance would have had absolutely no affect on benefits. You do know that right?

If she isn't eligible for child benefit the CMS wouldn't be taking maintenance

You do know CHB isn't compulsory? So whether she is claiming it or not is neither here nor there.

Your whole post smacks of "she's got more money than me so why should we pay maint" - well I hate to break it to you but
(a) it is normal for children to pay token 'keep' - it isn't 'rinsing'
(b) whether or not she is committing benefit fraud, it doesn't absolve your DH from his financial obligations
(c) even if she wins 158 Euro Millions on a roll over, it does not absolve your DH from his financial obligations.

How much clearer can we all make it - your DH has a financial obligation to support his child. His exW could be remarried to the Aga Khan and still doesn't make one iota of difference.

And now we know it's because she was claiming as a single parent - for more kids than just DHs! So she fraudulently claimed tax credits income support and housing benefit for eight years and now is rinsing her own kid when she gets maintenance from DH.

But again, how is her fraudulently (or not) claiming money from elsewhere anything to do with you or your husband? Her income doesn't actually affect the maintenance calculation. Nor do her criminal record or morals.

If she isn't eligible for child benefit the CMS wouldn't be taking maintenance

Err, that is so not how it works! Your DH has to pay maintenance - regardless of whether she's a multi-millionaire or has never worked a day in her life, he has a duty to pay for his children!

Bloody hell.

CB stops in Sept 1st , you then have too provide Collage details to get it back, same as CTC.

So if The child goes back to collage, even after working all summer you still have to pay up....

You keep referring to her claiming maintenance when pretending to be a single mother. Whats your point.
Maintenance doesn't affect benefits and her income doesn't effect maintenance. Do you know this?

Well the people at CMS who told us that in the first place need sacking then 🙄

20 week rule - that's 5 months she could claim CB for

his paying rent is neither here nor there - and his father should still pay for HIS child until his child is 18

If you send it to DSC you do know your not paying her, so guess what, she can claim you never paid....

The person who told you was wrong.

Your DH must pay maintenance based on what he earns. Her income or DS's employment status has nothing to do with it. He is under 18 years old and therefore she is entitled to maintenance. What he earns as a minor is completely irrelevant.

My DS is 17 (June) and his CB stops in September as he has left school (Scotland) and is off to University.

So it can and does happen.

He too is earning £££ but round here jobs pay about £7-£8 SN hour.

ecause she was taking money from my DH and telling the CSA he never even saw his fucking kids!

This is not benefit fraud. Had you ever had to claim benefits, you would know that doing it fraudulently isn't easy. I would be very wary of believing the hearsay - things are rarely what they seem.

The rules in Scotland are different @HamletsSister.

I so love the people who think £300 a month covers bring up a child,
You don't see the child, but the child still has to eat, go to school needs a roof over their head...
Doesn't matter who left, that child was born and needs the money, so what if she gets benefit.

I find it massively unlikely that a 17 yr old is making a decent wage - more likely they're on an apprenticeship or in a low paying job. It might seem like decent money to them as a first time wage, or they might be inclined to brag to your sources (given an apparent background of boasting mother), but it would be extremely surprising if it was enough to support themselves.

Personally if I were you I'd go for the high ground of paying up instead of scraping round for reasons not to. At least then, (in the absence of actual knowledge instead of gossip) you knowyou are doing the right thing.

What does it matter if the mother is behaving badly, you can't run other people's lives?

Gotta love MN and step parent bashing. Tbh I believe that mothers who deny good fathers access shouldn't be allowed to claim maintenance. Including my own mother 👍🏻

Ah so it's okay for the children to suffer because of their parents?

Your DH picked her and married her and loved her enough to have her child. The least he can do is support that child!

So children should be punished? For any reason the mother stops contact? Or just the ones where you feel sorry for the nrp?

Apprenticeship led to good job. I can assure you I know place of employment and they are renowned for looking after their good staff.
Anyhow I'll go back to my actual NN now and hide this thread, suppose we'll have to wait for cms to pull their finger out in the meantime DSC will miss out on money from us because mother spends it along with the rent they pay.

So do you send letters, cards,gifts invite the child to visit.
There are ways around anything, and at this age they change.

There are always to sided to a story and we only have yours.

If the ex is so bad, why hasn't your husband gone to court to fight for his child?

Have been blocked on social media and numbers blocked. Cards and letters sent via recorded delivery left at sorting office and returned. Many of them included cheques.

Gotta love MN and step parent bashing. Tbh I believe that mothers who deny good fathers access shouldn't be allowed to claim maintenance. Including my own mother

Bashing? You mean 'not getting the response you'd hoped for'?

What kind of parent doesn't support their children? They don't stop needing food, clothing and a roof over their heads because their other parent is playing silly buggers.

And how do you prove - without doubt - that the parent is to blame? Are children not able to make value judgments about the behaviour of their parents? Your negativity about the ex is deeply unpleasant - how would your step child feel experiencing that whilst in your home? She's his mother, whether you like it or not.

Go to court to fight for a 17 year old child?? Eh??