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AIBU?

Home education Brighton

66 replies

Homeschooldream · 15/07/2017 11:53

Hi, I would really really like to home school my twins but I'm worrying that it isn't in their best interests? I worry I will let them down and they will not have the best chance as if they went to a mainstream school. Aibu to think this way? I would love to home educate just lack confidence in this decision and just want what's best for them. We live near Brighton which apparently is well geared up to home education. Anyone offer any advice/ opinions? Thank you very much in advance!

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Homeschooldream · 15/07/2017 12:44

Forgot to add, they are NT and there are good schools around hence why I'm questioning. Everyone keeps asking why and making me feel it's not a good option. Sorry I should have added that so it made more sense.

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ASauvingnonADay · 15/07/2017 12:50

What are your reasons for wanting to home school, and are they happy/making good progress in school?

Homeschooldream · 15/07/2017 13:03

Hi, they haven't started yet (3) and they are doing well in all areas so far, no concerns around anything. The reasons I want to do it is to give them 1-1 time and a learning through play approach. We have a house with land and they are outdoors a lot and enjoy that. I love to get creative with doing things with them and feel I could nurture them 1-1. Also I've been told home schooling in Brighton is great with lots and lots of social opportunities, forest schools etc etc.

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Homeschooldream · 15/07/2017 13:04

I don't know if it's relevant but I'm educated up to Masters and am a GP but gave up work once I had the twins (prob irrelevant though!)

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PutThatPomBearBack · 15/07/2017 13:21

I would personally put them in school first to see how they get on. Most young children love school and I would feel guilty taking that away from them without good reason.

Homeschooldream · 15/07/2017 13:26

Thank you. I don't doubt that they wouldn't enjoy it, I just question that 1-1 and being able to give that individual focus and play led learning may be better than a 1 teacher who has 30 children to try to look after and teach. I realise that im lucky to be in a position where this is possible. I wouldn't consider it if there wasn't such an extensive home schooling community here so they would get an excellent social side ie forest school, sports days, days out etc. I just don't know. All food for thought!

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HiJenny35 · 15/07/2017 13:27

I wanted to home school because I wasn't ready to give up my girl however it wasn't about me, she started going off during playgroups and saying that she wanted to play with other children, she was ready for that freedom. I started her in nursery (attached to a school) for 3 hours a morning and she loved it and never wanted to miss a day, she's starting reception the September.
Also I know a lot of people who have home schooled through primary school and then put children into a secondary school so that they could do GCSEs and a levels however this has caused loads of issues as they didn't have that peer group and weren't used to the school environment/structured day. Unless you are keeping them out through to college I really wouldn't but that's just my personal feelings.

Homeschooldream · 15/07/2017 13:30

Thank you! I was considering it until they are 7 as that is an entry point for school and in line with Europe where formal education doesn't start until 7. I just want to do the best for them so lots to consider.

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FlowerFairyLights · 15/07/2017 13:33

Mine have loved infant school. it's so lovely and they be enjoyed it so much. I was half wondering about home schooling - I'd decided I would if they struggled or didn't love school but they have!!

witsender · 15/07/2017 13:36

We home ed and know lots who do, on the Isle of Wight which has a strong community much like Brighton. Most of those we know have home ed from scratch and don't regret it, and certainly don't have isolated, under achieving children.

Homeschooldream · 15/07/2017 13:39

Thanks so much witsender, was beginning to think maybe it was a completely strange idea!

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FlowerFairyLights · 15/07/2017 13:41

I wouldn't do it now I've seen how fab school is for my children but I'm sure you will do a fab job of home schooling. There's a fab HE community and tons you can do with them . It sounds like you'd be in a great place to do it!

Homeschooldream · 15/07/2017 13:45

Thank you. I'm not sure I'd do a fab job but I feel I could offer them lots of time, patience, kindness and variety. There seems to be more than 1 thing every day you can do re home schooling in Brighton so wouldn't be short of activities! Thanks again for your comment.

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witsender · 15/07/2017 13:45

There isn't a massive contingent of home edders on Mumsnet, but there are a few of us around. There is a home ed board I think, but not very active. Start joining your local groups (Facebook etc) and see what they get up to, perhaps tag along to a few groups. It is a lot less daunting when you realise how many others do it.

Homeschooldream · 15/07/2017 14:46

Thank you, I will have a look on Facebook. Thanks again for the comments.

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Mightymidge29 · 15/07/2017 14:48

I just wanted to say I was home educated and I kind of wish I wasn't. My situation was a lot different than yours sounds, you sound very together with support around you and a lot of education yourself.
My parents didn't really know what they were doing, liked the idea but I think got bored with it once they realised how full on it actually was.
I had pretty much zero education, I think we did a project on the Romans about 4 times when I was about 8 and that is all I can remember having! They would lose patience if we didn't understand something straightaway, probably from having two young children at home 24/7 without ever getting a break.

When we starting asking to go to school we were told we couldn't because we were too stupid and we'd end up being put in a special class - I think this was because they had realised they had messed up and didn't want it known how far behind the curriculum we were. But it caused life long insecurity especially for my dsis.
We only ever had one or two friends, spent a lot of time alone, missed out on a lot, always felt behind everyone else so didn't like getting into conversations or talking too much in case people talked about things we didn't know. We had no routine ever and to this day in my 30s I still struggle with simple things like bedtime and waking up routines.
Because I hadn't been around groups my own age, when I was as a then 17/18 year old I hadn't had a boyfriend and didn't want the 'home educated virgin' label I was starting to get so over compensated being very slutty and made some choices I probably wouldn't have if I was more world aware, ending up in some pretty horrible situations I didn't know how to get out of.

On the plus side we did get to play a lot and socialised with adults more than most kids so are comfortable being around all ages which has made work easier. We never had a problem getting jobs, worked our asses off and have done very well for ourselves. We've only ever learned things that we were able to teach ourselves which means I'm able to learn very quickly and actually now have a massive amount of skills I've taught myself which has been very useful in jobs I've had. It has got me into careers that you wouldn't expect without any qualifications.
I'm now doing a fairly complex degree as a mature student just going into my third year in Sept and have nothing but A's.

So It's not ruined my life but I do always wonder what would have happened if I had of had a real education in childhood, particularly for the social aspect as well as I do suffer with anxiety in groups of people my own age.

Obviously a very different situation to yours and our parents were quite abusive anyway but just wanted to raise that it's not always good and that you need to make sure you have really thought through what you will do with having twins at home 24/7 as they grow.
How they will they socialise, get used to routines, etc
What your 'out' plan will be if you can't cope and how they would intergrate into school if you are teaching different curriculums, etc.

Whatever support you think you are going to get from home education groups from my experience I would half it. Same with family and friends, no matter how supportive they are at the start if you dc achieve they will not want to hear about it and if they fail they will relish in it. Some people (not all) see it as a dig at their own parenting, that you are trying to be more dedicated than them and can be quite hurtful. Maybe also try and plan what you will be teaching them as far in advance as you can because when it comes to balancing being a full time teacher/mother/relationship/looking after the house etc there's a lot less than you think and its very easy to fall behind.

Lots of people have great success though and I'm sure you will too. I really hope this doesn't sound a negative comment, I really dont want to put you off I just wanted to make you aware of the pit falls so you can go into it with open eyes.
I actually love the idea of home education done right and I do think play is so important for young children. You sound really together and a great mum but just make sure you are also factoring what's best for you as well time wise, when you will get breaks, etc as it's a lot to take on Flowers

Homeschooldream · 15/07/2017 19:19

Mighty midge- thank you very much for sharing your experience and I'm sorry it wasn't a positive one for you but I appreciate all your thoughts on this! I am committed to doing this and am realistic about how hard it will be. If and a big if, I did home educate I would plan each day and loosely follow mainstream circulum but at their own pace and in a hopefully more play led child focussed way that I would be able to do as I could give them 1-1 and I know them as they're my children! I would do some sitting down learning, lots of outdoors learning, plenty of visits to museums, woods etc and at least twice a week meet up with other home schoolers for activities, e.g. There is a science afternoon which is led by an ex teacher and scientist and forest school and lots of things like this. I don't know if that sounds good or not but that is how I was thinking it would work. I'm going to check out Facebook and if there are any other adults who were home schooled I'd love to hear if you had a positive or negative experience. Thanks again.

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NK346f2849X127d8bca260 · 15/07/2017 19:33

My daughter is home educated, she attended primary school but problems started at secondary so I pulled her out.
We love HE she attends a group two days a week with other home educated children where she does a few lessons as she likes some structure. This September she is starting IGCSE's and will go to college at 16.
Do join the Facebook HE groups they are very informative and supportive.

Joeysephine · 15/07/2017 19:34

We home ed, and it works great for us. There's a huge home ed community in Brighton (we're not there, but looked at moving down at one point). You'll be able to start joining groups and going along to things now to give you an idea of what it'll be like. I'm sure you'll love it :)

tinypop4 · 15/07/2017 19:37

Hi op, I live in Brighton and wonder if you'd be prepared to visit any of the schools? Dd attends a fantastic infants school, very play based and lots of attention. She adores it as do her friends - they might enjoy it and thrive

Homeschooldream · 15/07/2017 19:55

Thank you everyone! Joey - which groups do you recommend, I'm not on Facebook but happy to join up to access the good ones!

I have looked at the local schools and they were both great but huge class sizes i.e. 30 children.

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Cagliostro · 15/07/2017 20:09

There is absolutely loads going on in Brighton for HE. I'll PM you :)

EB123 · 15/07/2017 20:26

I home educate my 6 year old, I also have a 4 year old who would have been due to start in September. They have never been to nursery or school.
Home ed gives us an amazing freedom that school wouldn't allow and we absolutely love it. I am not in Brighton but can imagine there is a huge amount going on there.

sillyquestionnow · 15/07/2017 21:57

I am a home schooler, my ds is 5 and we're in London.

If I can say one thing is "please home school" my ds is reading really well, studies well and is very bright, I home school him by half following the curriculum and half being what he wants to learn! He knows all sorts about what he is interested at the time.

For now this works along side play and he's so so happy, he's with me and we have a wonderful bond.

You don't have to worry about ruining it, just sort of slow and steady and build up when you have more of an idea of what it is you need to be able to teach effectively! You can do it :)

youaredeluded · 15/07/2017 22:27

States school are a joke. I genuinely feel home education or private schools are the only real decent option for our children.

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