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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Home education Brighton

66 replies

Homeschooldream · 15/07/2017 11:53

Hi, I would really really like to home school my twins but I'm worrying that it isn't in their best interests? I worry I will let them down and they will not have the best chance as if they went to a mainstream school. Aibu to think this way? I would love to home educate just lack confidence in this decision and just want what's best for them. We live near Brighton which apparently is well geared up to home education. Anyone offer any advice/ opinions? Thank you very much in advance!

OP posts:
Joeysephine · 16/07/2017 23:51

To those saying home ed is a bad idea - the school system is broken. It is not one that works for the majority of people who go through it. That's not to say that some kids don't enjoy it, but it doesn't prepare children for their future at all.

I say this as an ex teacher, with a Master's degree in Education. I chose to home educate my children, but I'm also an advocate for school reform.

This is not a judgement of many brilliant teachers, or of the parents who choose to send their kids to school - it does seem like the only choice - but sitting-based learning from too young, testing, the instruction based learning meaning few students are ever really independent learners, the increasing lack of support for students who need additional help, bullying, competitiveness (great for some, totally destructive for others) and on... Most of us leave school, forget everything we learnt and then have to start figuring out who we are, how we learn and what we want.

SuffolkBumkin · 17/07/2017 00:02

Great post joeysephine

Mumofone1970 · 17/07/2017 01:32

Hi, I also considered this for my son.
I, like you, planned to start him at school at 7.
What changed my mind was contacting the local council and schools directly and asking for previous years admission details for year 3 groups and finding that I would end up with the school nobody wanted!
I wasn't comfortable with my choice of school being taken away and just being given what was left over from all the others who had started in reception.
The other issue is how tightly the friendships are formed.
Do you have boys or girls?
I think particularly for girls although my son has been affected a lot this year in year 1, friendship is a massive part of school life and I'm not sure how well they would be accepted so much later on.
This of course is completely all avoided if you plan to go to private school and find one that starts at year 3. In which case I would 100% do it! All that stopped me was my financial situation

Ninabean17 · 17/07/2017 05:45

I was worried about the whole 1-1 experience too, but my DD1 who is just about to finish reception year has 1 main teacher and 6 teaching assistants. 6! It's a brilliant school and I'm glad she has the opportunity to thrive there.

beresh · 17/07/2017 07:15

Where we are in Europe children start school at 6/7, however like many European countries such as Finland, kindergarten is compulsory for 2 years before this. Homeschooling even of kindergarten aged children is not allowed, as it is seen as crucial that the children have a strong foundation of group social skills and independence before starting formal learning.

My oldest DC did a year in uk reception and it was very much like kindergarten, just with phonics added in.

If you are not working you will still have loads of 1-1 time with your twins, after school, weekends, holidays. I'd let them try reception to get a grounding in group social skills and develop their independence, then homeschool yr1/yr2 if it isn't working out or you feel it would suit your children's needs better.

MaryTheCanary · 17/07/2017 07:19

Mumofone beat me to it but:

Brighton is a popular city with an expanding population, so there is likely to be lots of pressure on school places. You mentioned full-capacity class sizes, so I bet there is very little leeway. Be really careful, OP, or you could end up with no school choice at age 7 apart from the school that nobody wants, and it could be miles and miles away.

There are private schools that take kids from 7, but if you have to prep your kids for passing entrance tests, that could defeat the purpose of the kind of HE that you are envisaging here.

You could look for an "alternative" forest-school-y type private school; let's face it, if anywhere is going to have that kind of school it will be Brighton, mecca of well-heeled crunchy people. I have to say, though, that the thought of paying two sets of private school fees simultaneously is making me wince. You'd probably need to return to work unless your DH makes a packet.

It sounds like you don't hate your local schools but are worried about lack of individual one-on-one attention. Have you tried looking for schools that have TAs, though? That would be a 1/15 ratio which is not too bad at all.

You say that you want your kids to start school at 7, like they do "in Europe." Bear in mind that Europe is not a country and there is no "European" approach to education; and most European countries have a school starting age of 6, not 7, by the way

In these countries, the years from 4-6 (or 4-7) are not being spent home with Mum getting 1:1 attention all day long. They are almost always being spent at a kindergarten/preschool/daycare nursery, and while staff ratios no doubt vary, I bet they are similar to the 1:15 ratio that you will get in a class of 30 that employs a TA as well as a teacher.

Much of what children do all day long in these kindergartens etc. will be similar to what our kids do in reception and Y1 classes too; children in reception and Y1 spend lots of time on play, crafts, music/movement, outdoor activity and so on. I know we start reaching and writing earlier, but the thing about English is that it takes 2-3 years to be able to read and write fluently enough to access the curriculum (most European languages make this task an awful lot quicker). If you HE and plan to reintegrate your kids at age 7, you will have to make sure that they are on-level and are reading and writing well by 7, and that means you will have to spend plenty of time sitting down with your kids and doing literacy work too--make no mistake about this. Maths, likewise. Will what you are doing really be that much different from the average reception class? The advantages of HE are not all that clear to me, bearing this in mind.

Personally, I think you have two reasonable choices here:

1/ Go back to work, put your kids in an alternative forest-y private school, and just have the mindset that you are working to pay the school fees. Taking pension and long-term employability into account, this may make more sense than spending more and more time out of the workforce.

2/ Find a local state school you like, start them off there, and "try" homeschooling in the summer holidays--i,e. pretend you are doing a "school day" at home, and do the kind of activities you envisage doing. And by that, I mean making them sit down and do some literacy and maths stuff as well, not just doing the fun bits like a musuem visit. Get together with the HEing groups, explain that you are trying this out to see how you get on, and see if you actually like them and gel well with the group.

If you like this, if your kids respond well and you can actually get them to do the less-fun stuff as well, if you feel that they make more academic progress when they are with you than they do on a day at school, and if you are not in love with your school experience, you can consider pulling them. But I really would test the waters carefully before you lose the chance to get a good school place! You don't want to wind up stuck with HEing if it isn't working for you.

Sconesnotscones · 17/07/2017 07:27

I was a teacher, and for what it's worth, if I were you, I'd home school if I had my time over again, especially since you seem prepared to put the effort into ensuring that your children have plenty of opportunities for socialisation.

tinypop4 · 17/07/2017 09:59

I did comment earlier up the thread, but as a resident of Brighton with young school age children, decent school places are a bun fight. You are fairly unlikely to get into a decent school at 7, and the spaces are at the less popular schools.
There is a montessori school for ages 2-12 in Brighton which is very popular with some parents who favour a freer, more alternative education which you could look into if you were interested.

Homeschooldream · 21/07/2017 19:57

Thank you so much everyone, loads of really useful thoughts and lots for me to consider. I didn't want to start a new thread so I thought I would ask here if anyone could recommend a good book about home education to give me a decent intro into what it actually entails / looks like in real life? Amazon search suggests a few but wondered if anyone had a recommendation? Thanks again.

OP posts:
Adarajames · 23/07/2017 21:37

One thing that Ive not seen mentioned is the far shorter amount of time you need to spend doing 'formal' learning when in a HE environment than in a classroom. You will only have 2 kids to concentrate on so can do in an hr or 2 what takes a whole day in a class of 30, leaving far more time in day for more art / outdoor based learning you most seem to treasure.

I know quite a number of HE kids/ young people, most are wonderful people, interested and interesting in life, able to relate to all sort of people of all ages, creative, excited by life and learning and able to self direct into areas of learning that most interest them. Had I had kids I'd've wanted to HE (health / disabilities denied me both)

Twistedpantsagain · 23/07/2017 23:38

Will you be using private education come 7?

Jodyjoel1980 · 25/03/2019 19:24

Hi sorry to jump on post, anyone in the hove area doing home education? Or have little ones that you intend on home educating ?

sailorsdelight · 25/03/2019 20:18

I know lots of home schoolers in Brighton and it is a mixed bag. There are some parents doing it well, capable of following some kind of curriculum, confidence in teaching the ‘boring’ bits like maths and grammar properly, doing amazin art projects but there are a lot who are really doing their children a dis-service and seem to be in it for themselves and the freedom it gives them around taking holidays etc. Not having to stick to a school year calendar. Their kids are barely educated IMHO with their parents teaching the things they personally like - reading for example, and totally ignoring ones they don’t - RE or citizenship, or sports and some of the kids visibly struggle with dealing with groups of other children. They’re not resilient and don’t know how to negotiate through disagreements.
Brighton has some amazing state primaries and being Brighton they’re all a little bit alternative and interesting anyway. There are 26-30 children in my DCs infant class sure but they have a teacher, a full time TA, and a uni student in that class. They also have a SEN support teacher full time for one kid, a teaching mentor for the school who does a lot of small group stuff either 1-1 or in groups of 2-3, a modern languages teacher for the school, a music teacher for the school, and a dedicated PE teacher for lesskns. And an astonishing array of choices for activity time - including cookery, art, science, gardening, sports.
I’d seriously think about trying primary school out first...

sailorsdelight · 25/03/2019 20:24

Although getting into the school
You want in brighton might seem a bunfifht, it’s actually quite easy mid year! My D.C. are in an oversubscribed school - at the start of the year that is. But both have 2-3 places in their class now. There’s a lot of kids with a parent from outside the U.K. who leave/ move and a lot of parents moving for work too. It’s been like this since they started 4 years ago, not quite being full throughout the year.

Sparklesocks · 25/03/2019 20:32

🧟‍♂️

Jodyjoel1980 · 31/03/2019 14:45

instagram.com/noplacelikehome.he.uk.hove?r=nametag
Please feel free to add me I’m trying to find my HE tribe ☺️ Be nice for mutual support and outings with the kiddies . Swop learning ideas etc ☺️

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