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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To not Want to go out for the day?

26 replies

MOIST · 15/07/2017 08:03

Supposed to be going out somewhere with H and DD2. Maybe the coast. But I don't want to. Just got back from a week away, just me and H. So suggestedDD might want to do something.
I am feeling antisocial and really want a day on my own. I am over human-contacted. I don't want to talk to anyone or have to think about anyone.
I also have foul period pain and a job application to do. Plus crochet, reading and watching Poldark.

But it's faaaaamily time. (Without DD1).

OP posts:
ProudBadMum · 15/07/2017 08:09

Fake illness and let them go together..

wombattoo · 15/07/2017 08:11

Play up the period pain and stay home.
I hope you have a nice day whatever.

bigchris · 15/07/2017 08:16

But you've just had a week away just with dh ? And you're needing time alone ? Eh?!

DeadGood · 15/07/2017 08:17

Stay in. Give yourself a break.

Original poster
MOIST · 15/07/2017 08:18

Oh the guilt at thinking of yourself.

OP posts:
Original poster
MOIST · 15/07/2017 08:19

bigchris. Yes.

OP posts:
bigchris · 15/07/2017 08:21

I wonder if I've misread it, isn't a week away without kids thinking of yourself, lol

bigchris · 15/07/2017 08:21

Actually a week just with my dh would drive me mad Grin

Original poster
MOIST · 15/07/2017 08:21

Moreso than if I'd been away with a group for a week or if the DDs had been there. Just 2 people for a week is a bit much for me.

OP posts:
bigchris · 15/07/2017 08:22

The inane wittering, worse than the kids Grin

NicolasFlamel · 15/07/2017 08:22

I would feel bad but obviously it's up to you.

Original poster
MOIST · 15/07/2017 08:23

The wittering. The breathing. The random little things that irritate the shit out of me.

OP posts:
Original poster
MOIST · 15/07/2017 08:24

D2 probably doesn't even care. She's still in bed. And doesn't like me much anyway.
I just need to persuade H to go out and leave me alone.

OP posts:
withmymummyhaton · 15/07/2017 08:28

I can completely understand needing time to yourself. My husband and I both like time on our own (though me more so) -- and I can see how a whole week together could be a bit intense!

Can you just say that you've got horrid cramps and you're really not feeling up to coming out? Ask your husband to go out with one/both daughters, spend the morning on the sofa with crochet / reading / Poldark, and plan something nice and low-key as a family for the end of the day (pizza and a movie, that kind of thing?)

If you don't advocate for what you want and need, no-one else will realise you want/need it! Hope you can have a good day. x

yawning801 · 15/07/2017 08:38

I've got a similar situation. Being forced to go on a faaaamily trip (a bit of a drive away) while nearly five weeks after a complex spinal fusion! I just hope I can have Brew and Cake there!

RebelRogue · 15/07/2017 08:41

How old is DD2? Did she miss you? Is she actually bothered about going out?

If she hasn't and she isn't, then a day to yourself (I completely get the peopled out feeling) is fine.
Maybe do as a PP suggested and do pizza and a movie tonight. Oh and make sure OH does go out somewhere.

ScarlettDarling · 15/07/2017 08:41

It sounds like it's time away from your dh that you need. Why don't you go out with your daughters and leave dh at home?

OhhBetty · 15/07/2017 08:44

Why doesn't DD2 like you? Is that part of the reason you don't want to go?
Also, what will you do once the kids are older and leave home? Since it will just be 2 of you all the time.

Helendee · 15/07/2017 08:46

Why do you say DD2 doesn't like you?

That made me feel sad for you.

Guitargirl · 15/07/2017 08:46

What makes you think she doesn't like you?

Hiphopopotamus · 15/07/2017 08:48

I understand the needing time on your own but the way you're talking about your DH makes it sound like you can't stand him

Figaro2017 · 15/07/2017 08:53

So you don't like husband and daughter doesn't like you? You might be the problem!

Original poster
MOIST · 15/07/2017 08:57

She's 19 and autistic. She doesn't like anything. I don't take it personally.
I'm quite fond of them really but I am hormonal, hurting and vant to be alone.

OP posts:
supersop60 · 15/07/2017 08:58

I get it. Some time on your own with your own thoughts, not having to explain yourself, or talk (about electric cars, brexit, pensions etc etc.) Bliss.

Hudson10 · 15/07/2017 09:00

But you've just had a week away just with dh ? And you're needing time alone ? Eh?!

OK, maybe just me, but how is being with your husband "alone time?" The very definition of not being alone time is when you're with someone else! Confused
YADNBU, I hear ya. Sometimes I love alone time too.
You say you have pain - play it up and stay at home, let them go out for the day.
Then sit and binge watch box sets or something Smile