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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

What is your moral stance on this?

73 replies

BastardBernie · 14/07/2017 14:54

I will try to be factual, any questions, please ask.

My uncle and aunt emigrated in 2009, They have 2 sons and a daughter, adults, who stayed in U.K. A house and flat were left behind and left in Son 1 name.
Eldest sons do not get on due to disastrous wedding of Son 1.
Marriage break up of aunt and uncle in 2011, aunt moves into the house, uncle follows in 2012. Uncle sold business abroad.
Uncle put equity into son 1 account, divided in 2 and gave half to aunt.
Uncle bought 2 houses and a flat in son 1 name.
Son 1 now has uncles 3 houses and 2 flats in his name.
Son 2 moves into one of the houses, uncle moves into one of the houses, aunt already lives in one of them and the two flats are rented out.
Aunt and uncle get divorced, aunt wants uncles name off property. Uncle cannot take name off property as aunt unable to remortgage. Aunt starts tirade of abuse to uncle, son 1 sides with aunt and joins in on abuse.
Son 1 and son 2 realise that there is hundreds of thousands of pounds in two of the houses and the two flats. They decide to collude and start selling the houses.
The house that son 2 lives in goes on market. Uncles mobile and wifi cut off. Son 1 visits tenants in flats and tells tenants that he is new owner and Flats are for sale. Uncle blocks sales and asks what the fuck is going on. Son 1 states all properties are his, except the house that Son 2 lives in, doesn't uncle remember he gave it to son 2?(!!!!!!!)

What would you do?

OP posts:
BastardBernie · 14/07/2017 17:28

Thanks for your replies.
I'm going to end it here as I don't think I have the same familial values as the mumsnet population, so not much point seeking advice or support on such a terrible situation in my family right now.
Thanks for your thoughts Smile

OP posts:
Windycityblues · 14/07/2017 17:28

I also feel sorry for the daughter who seems completely forgotten in the dishing out of houses and flats.

Your uncle must feel disappointed in his sons but I cannot think of any reason to put a range of properties into someone else's name when you don't really want them to have them that isn't tax avoidance.

You asked about moral judgement and mine is that all concerned seem rather more concerned with money than in doing the right thing.

rightwhine · 14/07/2017 17:32

Why are the two sons colluding if they don't get on after the disastrous wedding?

BastardBernie · 14/07/2017 17:34

Because there's 200k+ in it for both of them.
Son 2 started not turning up for work for my uncle, so my uncle told him to find a new job but the rent still needs paying and he's not doing any more favours.

OP posts:
BastardBernie · 14/07/2017 17:36

Oh! Sucked back in wasn't I. Just need someone to speak to, to offload, as it's taking its toll on me a bit if im honest. My heart hurts for my uncle. My head hurts from confusion of why my cousins would act in this way.

OP posts:
Windycityblues · 14/07/2017 17:38

Was there an expectation that the houses would at some point go back to your uncle?

BastardBernie · 14/07/2017 17:41

Yes, all of them bar the one my aunt resides in.

OP posts:
NellieFiveBellies · 14/07/2017 17:43

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

MoveOnTheCards · 14/07/2017 17:48

Your cousins are behaving pretty shittily based on what you've said (what I think I understand!). However I also agree there must be an iffy reason behind your uncle putting their properties in son 1's name.

Is the reason for uncle & aunt's divorce influencing the sons' behaviour? Do they see him as having wronged her and 'deserving' of losing the properties?

BastardBernie · 14/07/2017 17:52

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

BastardBernie · 14/07/2017 17:54

Yes the sons think my uncle is doing wrong by the aunt because he 'wont' come off the mortgage (he can't). Son 2 has jumped on son 1s 'cause' because he got the sack.

OP posts:
provider5sectorzz9 · 14/07/2017 18:07

So let's look at the facts
uncle is dishonest (he's running some sort of property ownership scam)
The uncle is surprised that the sons have decided not to collude with him in the scam having seen that they have large sums of money to gain by going back on the original agreement

the Apple doesn't fall far from the tree, quelle surprise!

BastardBernie · 14/07/2017 18:21

Scam? I'm not even replying to that.

OP posts:
Imjustterfingaround · 14/07/2017 18:32

Where is the daughter in all this? What does she think?

Whichwayyisup · 14/07/2017 18:36

Ditto the question about the daughter who seems to have been forgotten in all of this even by the OP!

BastardBernie · 14/07/2017 18:43

She has confided in me as she is worried about her fathers health.
She thinks her mother is instructing the sons and has incited this hateful behaviour.

OP posts:
Notreallyarsed · 14/07/2017 19:33

It must be tough for you, for their daughter and the rest of the family not caught up in this shitstorm. Money brings out the worst in people as I discovered with my brother when our mum died. Sickened isn't the word.

Lweji · 14/07/2017 21:40

Morally neither your uncle nor your male cousins come out very well.
It's the women who seem to be losing out.

WeddingsAreStressful · 14/07/2017 21:48

Those sons are really shit human beings, if you ask me. They really are robbing your uncle. Fine, uncle was naive. But you have to be a certain kind of low life to steal feom your own parents who have done so much for you!!!!

emmyrose2000 · 15/07/2017 04:25

I have no idea what's going on. I just can't get past the blatant favouritsm towards Son1 in giving him everything. There are three children, so everything should've been split equally three ways.

If aunt and/or uncle are being ripped off now, then it's karma for treating their daughter as though she doesn't exist, and treating Son1 better than Son2.

AdalindSchade · 15/07/2017 04:52

Morally, the two sons are being awful
But why did the uncle put everything in one child's name?
Either he wanted son 1 to inherit the majority of his property (making him a bastard to his other kids) or he assumed son 1 would hand the properties back at some point (making the arrangement dodgy in some way, yes it is)
The uncle should have handled his affairs better. But the sons are being awful.

tillytown · 15/07/2017 05:18

Was the daughter left out because of sexism, or because she saw it for what it was - a scam?

TheSnowFairy · 15/07/2017 08:16

Bernie either uncle gave Son 1 the properties in which case they are legally Son 1's to do with what he wants

Or he transferred them to him to avoid tax in which case they are still legally Son 1's.

Morally - no sympathy for Uncle but as pp have said, for Son 2 and Daughter.

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