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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Was I inappropriate

46 replies

Mrsfloss · 14/07/2017 12:22

I don't know if I am being unreasonable or not. I manage an office that normally has four members of staff. One who covers reception. We are a charity with limited funding for temp staff. I think I have made a rod for my own back with covering shifts last minute and putting my needs last minute. I asked to meet with my boss around staffing issues and she asked when is good? I replied jokily saying I can do so and so date but will be covering reception and have to do orders so you will have to help. It was in jest and I do feel she could help us more but doesn't.

She replied when you can reply appropriately we can meet.

AIBU to let the fuckers fall flat on their face and pay temp costs

OP posts:
Original poster
Mrsfloss · 14/07/2017 12:23

Meant to say currently two so 2 staff down with us mugs picking extra work up

OP posts:
Saucery · 14/07/2017 12:25

She sounds like a humourless drag to work for.

troodiedoo · 14/07/2017 12:26

If nobody else is available to cover reception then yes a temp will be needed. Jokes about how busy you are never go down well with senior management. They just don't get it. If you are coping then all is OK. So stop being a martyr and tell them you can't cope.

FooFighter99 · 14/07/2017 12:26

Sounds like they're using you to fill gaps instead of putting their hand in their pocket to pay for temp cover. Stop doing them favours and let them pick up the slack! They'll have temps in in no time.

YADNBU!

Namechangetempissue · 14/07/2017 12:27

It wasn't the most professional reply to be honest, but YANBU to not cover any more shifts last minute. I'm sure your boss will be keen to make arrangements soon!

coddiwomple · 14/07/2017 12:27

Not sure, difficult to judge without being there, but it does sound a bit rude. You are the one asking for a meeting in the first place. I think it might have sounded different if the meeting request was from her.

Whatever you feel she could do more or less is completely irrelevant I am afraid. You can ask for help, but judging or criticising her direct work is inappropriate (it doesn't mean you are wrong, you just can't tell your boss that)

vikingprincess81 · 14/07/2017 12:28

Are you under the age of 16 OP? Because that's the only way I'd accept being spoken to like a child!
I know we have to be professional at work, but equally, a bit of humour doesn't go amiss. If you were using humour to convey a serious message, then yeah I can see how she may have not liked it, but even so, that's no excuse to be such a humourless twig, especially since you've been doing cover etc. Nope, you WNBU

Original poster
Mrsfloss · 14/07/2017 12:29

They have no money though and I would hate them to go under. We barely break even but I'm not being a mug anymore they can fuck off

OP posts:
Tazerface · 14/07/2017 12:31

I don't like her reply but I agree that you need to be straight - I can't tell you when because I am genuinely that busy.

CotswoldStrife · 14/07/2017 12:31

That was a bit of a passive-aggressive email tbh, and has probably set the tone for the meeting, she could have simply asked for a definite date too though Sad You do need to make the point about the staffing issues but it could have been done better.

Set a date and order a temp if it's necessary. I hope it all get sorted out OK. Do you have an idea of what help the boss could provide?

Venusflytwat · 14/07/2017 12:32

Well you were a bit but her reply was unnecessary.

Just go back and say "I can meet you on at or at . Cover for Reception will need to be arranged.

Bluntness100 · 14/07/2017 12:34

Do you feel you are managing as expected? Clearly she is behaving like a manager and wouldn't be expected to step in and man reception or take orders,. Clearly she didn't see your response as professional or realise you were being funny, why do you feel it's your job to be temp cover?

You end your op very aggressively, saying us mugs and calling them fuckers, which I would expect from a member of staff, not the manager....

Ladyformation · 14/07/2017 12:35

I think it's fair enough for her to be put out by you requesting a meeting - ie asking for her time - and then telling her that you have no time to have the meeting. What was all that about?

It doesn't do you, her or the organisation any good for you to not communicate staffing issues. Sure, her reply was humourless, but maybe she doesn't see the humour in the situation.

Original poster
Mrsfloss · 14/07/2017 12:39

I'm fuming. I wouldn't call them fuckers. I want us to succeed but really struggiling to recruit and the other admin has been off a bit. Maybe it's coming out wrong.

The managers wouldn't do extra hours or strain themselves

OP posts:
Mymouthgetsmeintrouble · 14/07/2017 12:45

My reply would have been thats fine i will just do my own job in future so now thats cleared up im available on x day or x day for a meeting

Littlecaf · 14/07/2017 12:48

I don't think what you said was an acceptable way to speak to anyone but I understand you are frustrated. Forget about that bit and just let her know when you are available without having to cover for others.

I don't think YABU however if we don't voice our concerns as employees how do we expect managers to know? When you meet be calm and professional and come out of the meeting with a resolution of what they are going to do & don't let them get you to solve the problem by yourself. Good luck x

Jellycatspyjamas · 14/07/2017 12:49

Honestly if getting appropriate staffing cover is going to send them under, it's only a matter of time. Look after yourself in that and don't offer to do more than you're happy with - charities often expect their staff to work over and above from a place of goodwill while showing little goodwill or loyalty in return.

Original poster
Mrsfloss · 14/07/2017 12:50

Was it really unacceptable to let her know all next week I am in reception and can't leave it.

Maybe it was passive aggressive but was it really that out of order

OP posts:
Clandestino · 14/07/2017 12:54

Looks like they are setting up themselves for a failure anyway. If there's only that little staff around, she should be out there and not being all snotty about it.
Let me suggest you find yourself an office where they behave like professionals and let your current organisation do what they are going to anyway - fall flat on their faces.

Venusflytwat · 14/07/2017 12:55

"Thanks Sue for replying so quickly.
I can't meet at all next week as Jilly is off so I am having to cover a Reception. Can you make at ?"

Or, alternatively, if you're the office manager, schedule someone else to cover reception for an hour at some point and then have the meeting!

The most you post the more I'm starting to think you're BU to be honest.

Nonibaloni · 14/07/2017 12:55

I worked places where they struggle to recruit. In this climate? There is either a problem with the job (unlikely because people are desperate) or they are dragging their heels looking for the perfect candidate (which they can while you are picking up the slack).

Is the extra work you do paid? Is it reciprocal? Is it reflected in your job description?

This get my goat up. Admirable you don't want them to fail. But they are failing. You are doing 2 people's jobs and they are relying on you not breaking to continue.

I would reply that you were serious, reception cover would need to be arranged or reception would need to be closed but then I'm in a vicious mood today and will probably be on a lot of posts not mincing my words.

cordeliavorkosigan · 14/07/2017 12:57

I'd say she was more rude than you by a fair margin. Totally not at all unreasonable to let her know the situation for next week.

I agree that jokes about how busy you are will likely not go down well or have the intended effect, so you should have simply said that you've agreed to cover reception and can't leave it unless reception cover can be found.

You could write back, apologise for the joking tone and simply state that xx is away, you are covering, and if possible she should let you know when official reception cover will be available. Puts the ball in her court.

QueenofallIsee · 14/07/2017 12:58

I am confused as how can she help with reception and orders if you want to meet her? I think I would have felt as though you were being snide rather than kidding. That said you must know her well to joke with her so she could have given you the benefit of the doubt!

reuset · 14/07/2017 13:00

She replied when you can reply appropriately we can meet

This is more inappropriate I feel.

NellieFiveBellies · 14/07/2017 13:05

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

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