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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

Was I inappropriate

46 replies

Mrsfloss · 14/07/2017 12:22

I don't know if I am being unreasonable or not. I manage an office that normally has four members of staff. One who covers reception. We are a charity with limited funding for temp staff. I think I have made a rod for my own back with covering shifts last minute and putting my needs last minute. I asked to meet with my boss around staffing issues and she asked when is good? I replied jokily saying I can do so and so date but will be covering reception and have to do orders so you will have to help. It was in jest and I do feel she could help us more but doesn't.

She replied when you can reply appropriately we can meet.

AIBU to let the fuckers fall flat on their face and pay temp costs

OP posts:

Original poster

Mrsfloss · 14/07/2017 13:07

There is no one to cover reception for a good time to meet

OP posts:

LaContessaDiPlump · 14/07/2017 13:13

I would make it quite formal in your next email.

Dear X

I'm sorry about the tone of my last email - I do want to sit down and discuss staffing with you, but in that context I think it's helpful if you know what my schedule will be for next week.

I will be needed to cover reception from . During that time, I will also be completing order forms - this one and this one need to be completed ASAP on so I will need to prioritise those. Therefore at the moment it looks like my availability is better later in the week, although this could change if more shift cover is required.

Please let me know what works for you and I'll try to get something in the calendar - I am really keen to get this sorted.

Many thanks,

Mrsfloss

LaContessaDiPlump · 14/07/2017 13:13

Basically emphasise that you have no time to discuss how busy you are because you're too busy!!

Venusflytwat · 14/07/2017 13:15

Why isn't there anyone else who can help for an hour? You said the office had four people in. One is I assume the usual Receptionist who is off, is one you? What about the other two?

If there isn't anyone you'll have to wait to meet her till the following week.

2017RedBlue · 14/07/2017 13:17

This reply has been withdrawn

The OP has privacy concerns and so we've agreed to take this down.

Original poster

Mrsfloss · 14/07/2017 13:21

Thanks guys.

Sorry wasn't clear. 2 roles are vacancies

One on reception, one in warehouse and me meant to be covering when needed and doing the office manager role mainly payroll and finance

OP posts:

Venusflytwat · 14/07/2017 13:24

Ok then.

"Hi Sue thanks for your reply. I'm really concerned about the situation and I think we need to prioritise this meeting but struggling to see how to make a meeting happen next week given that Brenda is away and Sandra is in the warehouse.

Is there anyone who can cover Reception for an hour so we can meet? Or would you be willing to meet with me in the Reception area?"

Rachel0Greep · 14/07/2017 13:26

I would email to advise her that you will be unable to provide cover from next week, and also suggest a time to meet, within your normal working hours and role.

Original poster

Mrsfloss · 14/07/2017 13:42

I've prob ably over complicated this by having to change loads as not to out myself!

OP posts:

AnnieAnoniMouse · 14/07/2017 13:42

When you can reply appropriate we can meet

Red rag to a bull.

'If you were doing your job properly we wouldn't need to meet'

You need to stop making the successs of this business more important to you, than it is to the management. It's great you care so much, but take that somewhere it's valued.

WeAllHaveWings · 14/07/2017 13:44

it hard to gauge tone in an email, especially with a sensitive subject like feeling over worked/asking for more staff, and she obviously didn't read it in the jokey way you meant.

Why not reply saying sorry, you meant it as a joke, but seriously you are tied up in reception all week so have limited options for a meeting how does x or y sound? Maybe propose a working lunch or ask someone to cover for 15 mins (what would happen if you were off sick? do that....).

Monkeyface26 · 14/07/2017 13:45

I can certainly see how that slipped out op. But you need her to take you seriously so how about...

Dear Mrs Boss

I apologise for my rather clumsy attempt at using humour to highlight a difficult situation. I can see why you felt it was not appropriate.

I would like to meet to discuss staffing issues but I am currently providing cover for reception as well as assisting with xxxx, in addition to my own regular duties.

If you could organise alternative reception cover, I could meet ........or, if you think it suitable, we could meet in reception while accepting that there will inevitably be occasional interruptions.

Many thanks,
Mrs Floss

WomblingThree · 14/07/2017 13:48

My last boss gave me some good advice once. "Stop whinging and come to me with a plan".

She was a right cow and I loathed her (but unfortunately she was good at her job so commanded a grudging respect) but she absolutely shut down moaning and PA comments. If you went to see her in her office and presented her with a sensible solution to a problem, she would absolutely listen and take it on board or explain why it wasn't feasible. I learnt a lot from her (along with how not to treat your staff!)

CotswoldStrife · 14/07/2017 13:50

From the OP's update:-

Was it really unacceptable to let her know all next week I am in reception and can't leave it. Maybe it was passive aggressive but was it really that out of order

Yes it was. I was the poster who said it was PA.

If you are the manager, it looks inefficient to say you need to meet about staffing issues but can't sort out the staff to enable the meeting if it's part of your job to sort the staff! Why can't the other member of staff cover for the meeting at least?

Vacancies = savings, so you should be able to use that to pay for a temp for the odd day or so. Save up all the jobs that could be done by a temp and use them well!

I am assuming that you are responsible for staffing the office (not your boss). Either way, when you do meet, focus on the monetary effect on the charity that the lack of staff is having, you have tried to fill in the gaps yourself but no longer possible, looking for an agreed strategy to get the office fully staffed and operating efficiently again.

I did wonder whether you'd sent these types of PA emails before, considering the response you received - is there a bit of friction between you and your boss?

NSEA · 14/07/2017 13:52

It reads to me that you were passive aggressive which is unprofessional, but so was her reply to be frank. That's not how you manage a workforce. Especially one stressed out busy.

Give her the benefit of the doubt and assume she's had a tough day.

BackforGood · 14/07/2017 13:59

Yes, YWBU. Also, all the first page of replies are probably wondering why one of the others can't cover REception for your meeting, as this thread started out with the perception there were 4 of you,, and then it has changed to you being the only one. That makes a big difference.

You've had a good suggested e-mail upthread, but I agree you need to explain clearly that, as there are 2 vacancies, you will have to close the Reception desk for the duration of the meeting, so would suggest X day/time as that is quieter.

eatabagofdicks · 14/07/2017 13:59

Call in sick all next week . Let them figure it out

Original poster

Mrsfloss · 14/07/2017 14:01

That's totally what I want to do eat!!

OP posts:

coddiwomple · 14/07/2017 14:11

I worked places where they struggle to recruit. In this climate?

well, I work in recruitment, and whilst we do receive hundreds of CVs for each advertised job, there is a shortage of suitable and motivated candidates (people living at the other end of the country are not considered for start..)

It's bloody hard to find people who seriously want a job!

horsefeathers · 14/07/2017 14:28

You're not unreasonable to be pissed off with the general situation, but your communication wasn't great in this instance. If you wanted to highlight the problem you'd have done better to skip the humour and try something like:

Hi [boss]
That's part of what we need to discuss, really. I'm so booked up covering reception and taking orders in addition to my usual role that I won't be able to meet during working hours for at least a week unless we can arrange some cover. Alternatively I could close reception at [x quiet time] if that met with your approval.
Please let me know what you think.

Boss could definitely have handled this better too, but you won't get anywhere being pissy with her. As far as she's concerned, you're the one who asked to meet, she was perfectly happy to do so, and you then gave her a snotty passive-aggressive response. You want her on your side. You need to at least look like you believe she's a lovely reasonable boss acting in good faith. Be stunningly professional and polite throughout so there's nothing to detract from the point you're making. Catch more flies with honey than vinegar and all that.

Bluntness100 · 14/07/2017 15:29

I'm fuming. I wouldn't call them fuckers. I want us to succeed but really struggiling to recruit and the other admin has been off a bit. Maybe it's coming out wrong. The managers wouldn't do extra hours or strain themselves

It is a little confusing yes, as you say you are one of the managers, then say the managers wouldn't cover extra hours or whatever, I guess you mean your are the only manager who does? And well , you did call them fuckers if you read your posts , so not sure why you're saying you wouldn't. Do you mean to their faces?. And yes, to be fair, you asked her for a meeting then said you didn't have time for one. It's quite confusing really. Were you making a point?

If the issue is you do not wish to cover vacancies. Then you need to find time to have a meeting with her and explain that, or put it down in writing and explain it clearly. That temp staff need to be recruited as it's not your role and you do not have the time to do it, and as much as you'd love to help out when your role permits, it can't be continuously like this. As such you will resume your day job from Monday and hope she can find an alternate solution.

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