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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To want an invite to a party?

27 replies

Dontgiveaflyingfuck · 13/07/2017 18:07

I feel like a toddler stamping my foot! I have two 'friends' R and C. C is a good friend and we are close. R to be honest I don't really like but our kids are in the same school and are friends, she and C are best friends, she lives in the next street and we go to the same Church and are in the same Prayer group so see each other most days and therefore are friends. I feed Rs children once a week, ferry her son to Cubs and related activities, walk her kids to school when she is ill etc (as a note none of this is ever reciprocated) Tonight R is having a party and I found out by accident when C asked what I was taking as she'd just assumed I was going. Daft thing is i wouldn't have wanted to go but I'm upset not to be invited. AIBU to feel left out of something I don't actually want to go to?

OP posts:

Sunnydaysrock · 13/07/2017 18:10

YANBU it's a horrible feeling. Like you say, you don't want to go but an invite would have been nice after all you do!

HelloCanYouHearMe · 13/07/2017 18:12

YANBU but YABU in relation to all the stuff you do for her kids.

Time to knock it all on the head OP

Stormyseasallround · 13/07/2017 18:14

Yes I'd also be reconsidering how much I did for someone who doesn't reciprocate.

justkeepswimmingg · 13/07/2017 18:14

YANBU.
I'd be annoyed too. Although you've said you're not technically 'friends', you have a mutual friend and you do her favours. I'd be wondering if she is just seeing you as free childcare. I don't know why you bother with her OP, it was rude of her not to invite you (if only to be polite) .

pasturesgreen · 13/07/2017 18:16

YANBU to feel left out, but you're certainly BVU to keep doing so many favours to the cheeky cow!

Underthemoonlight · 13/07/2017 18:19

Yabu you just said you don't like the woman so why do you want an invite? Stop doing favours and don't have her as your friend.

JustDanceAddict · 13/07/2017 18:53

R is taking the piss. Stop doing favours for someone who doesn't see you as a friend.

MrsHathaway · 13/07/2017 18:58

Matthew 5:21-24.

Nonetheless, I can see why you're feeling hurt. If it's the thought that counts, and the thought never happens ... !

Why do you do nice things for her? In vain hope of reciprocation? For its own sake?

HipsterHunter · 13/07/2017 19:00

Yeah that's upsetting.

Maybe time to cool of some of the things you do to help her out.

RainbowJack · 13/07/2017 19:04

YABU

Just because you're a mug doesn't mean she needs to be.

You do all that for someone you don't even like? More fool you.

SallyGinnamon · 13/07/2017 19:08

It's annoying when you realise that you're staff not a friend isn't it?

Does she return the favour re cubs? If not dump her. Either way, you'll need to reassess.

Aeroflotgirl · 13/07/2017 19:20

Don't do anymore favours, she's using you.

Aeroflotgirl · 13/07/2017 19:21

In agree Rainbow, I would not do those favours to people I don't like.

Awwlookatmybabyspider · 13/07/2017 19:22

Let her stick her sweaty party where the sun dont shine, and.
Stop billing and cooing over her kids.
She doesn't do it for yours.
You don't get any better thought of

KC225 · 13/07/2017 19:26

I would do regular favours for friends. She does not consider you a friend, nor worthy of payment. Stop doing her favours, she is a user.

RiotAndAlarum · 13/07/2017 19:35

Regular Cubs meetings are just about over for the summer, so both you and she have time to make new arrangements for September....

PrettyGoodLife · 13/07/2017 19:42

Sounds rough and I would be put out - but could it just be a few friends but not a massive do? (I am not sure, but it is always worth thinking of innocent reasons before making yourself miserable over it).

MiniCooperLover · 13/07/2017 19:44

Good timing to knock the walking kids to school thing on the head as it's end of term or nearly. Not fun OP sorry

DrHorribletookmycherry · 13/07/2017 19:58

It's a horrible moment when you realise you're just some unpaid dump space for someone's inability to manage their own life.
Bow out of your commitments. Run.

MrsPorth · 13/07/2017 20:10

Quit doing her favours.

Original poster

Dontgiveaflyingfuck · 13/07/2017 21:08

DH took me and the kids out for a meal to cheer me up. I'm not willing to stop ferrying the kids about as she openly says she wouldn't bother taking them to stuff and they are decent kids. I'll happily invest in them. And it was a small party - just every Sunday school family bar us. So an obvious snub. At least i know where i stand.

OP posts:

Bourdic · 13/07/2017 21:18

I've no idea how Prayer Groups work but at your next one can you tell her you are praying for her to be a kinder person?

mickeysminnie · 13/07/2017 21:21

HaHaHa! If you want to play the martyr go ahead, but don't then whine about it!
But a hint for you, people won't look at you and think, isn't she amazing 'thinking of the kids. They will just think you are an idiot!

KC225 · 13/07/2017 23:36

Mickeysminnie is right, you have proof she treats you like a unpaid lackey and yet you are happy to continue.

marymarytoocontrary · 13/07/2017 23:38

You don't like R, it's probably obvious to everyone. Why would she invite people who don't like her to her party?

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