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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To think 9 is too Young to be home along/ walking home alone

65 replies

Happyhappyveggie · 13/07/2017 12:01

Aibu here? A few of DS's school friends are walking home alone from school and being at home on their own after school too. DS is 9 and year 4 going into year 5. He's mature and sensible but I still think he's too young but am I being precious?

OP posts:

BackforGood · 13/07/2017 15:07

I personally think primary school age is too young to walk to/from school or alone at home

Thing is, if they don't start getting used to it, on a familiar route they've been walking for years, at a time when there are loads of other parents around and they are probably with well established friends of their own, then it is going to come as a mighty big change for them when they start secondary. To my mind, there are lots of things to worry about when they first move up to secondary - it being the first time they've walked anywhere on their own is one of many you can remove from that first day / first week list of worries, if they've got used to it gradually over Yrs 5 and 6 (and, as and when appropriate, Yr4)

PrimalLass · 13/07/2017 15:21

My DD is 9. She walks to school on her own, goes out and about with her friends (other end of the village to the park, buy ice cream etc.) Why not? She is sensible and everything is close by.

Clandestino · 13/07/2017 15:23

I walked to school and was at home waiting for my Mum at 8.
I'd be afraid now especially as DD would have to cross a busy road and some school run Mums act like they learned to drive in a circus.

SocksRock · 13/07/2017 15:28

coddi that's the house phone. I leave her with a brick mobile so I can call her if I need to and she can send me texts. I wouldn't want her to accidentally reveal she was home alone on a number where the address could be found.

TheSnorkMaidenReturns · 13/07/2017 15:35

It's absolutely fine where I live. Very close, no dangerous roads and a good way to build up independence.
Biggest risk comes from bad driving from other parents on school run.

BarbarianMum · 13/07/2017 15:47

My 9 year old has been walking to school with his big brother since age 8 and, as of next Sept, will be walking with himself or friends - so no, I obviously don't agree that it is necessarily too young.

And as for the opinion that no primary school child should go to or from school by themdelves, words fail me!

Mrsglitterfairy · 13/07/2017 15:56

This is giving me some food for thought. My DS is the same age, juts at the end of year 4 and I have just recently started letting him play out. He pops back home every hour to check in and doesn't go far. He will also walk home on his own albeit I'm walking the same way with younger DS who is 6. I have never left him in the house alone though although after this I might start to. I mean for a short time where I need to pop to the shop for milk etc on a weekend morning, if it's early in the morning I will have to drag him out of bed etc when he would happily still be watching tv or playing his iPad.

steppemum · 13/07/2017 16:06

Can I also point out that if the school is fine for children to walk home with permission, at year 4, then it probably says tha it is reasonable and safe to do so.

On these threads there are always some people who say their school doesn't allow it, but that is probably due to the physical location of the school, rather than the age of children per se.

Witchend · 13/07/2017 16:36

Ds has just turned 10yo. He's been walking home (40 minutes walk) for the last year with a friend, at his insistence. It's good for him, both health wise and maturity wise. When they're walking home together they're actually very sensible.

HaudYerWheeshtBawbag · 13/07/2017 16:58

Depends on the child, I was walking home from school age 5, and it was some distance.

The world was no more dangerous back then, than it is now, just people are more precautions and the media is more vocal.

Willow2017 · 13/07/2017 17:10

Totally depends on area and child. Round here it's perfectly normal. Kids all play out at park etc too.

You do what you think is best for your child.

Have seen threads where people think kids shouldn't be let out the door alone before they are 13 or over! How do kids learn independence unless they are taught it over time?

FlandersRocks · 13/07/2017 17:13

The world was no more dangerous back then, than it is now

I disagree.

Lots of people don't 'help' like they used to do because they're afraid of perceptions. My dad, for instance, wouldn't have hesitated to stop and talk to a crying child 20 years ago. Nowadays though he'd think twice which is really sad.

There may be no more 'bad' people around - but there are also less 'good' ones that are willing to offer help.

user1492287253 · 13/07/2017 17:34

where i live, Bedfotdshire, practically every child walks to school unsupervised in year 5.

eyebrowsonfleek · 13/07/2017 17:53

Depends on where you live and what your child is like. Here, the LEA says that y5/6 can go to school alone. When I lived in London the LEA said that y6 could go to and from school unaccompanied.

As for being home alone, round here this starts at y4ish and for short periods(say 30 mins at first) This depends on your child though. Mine didn't answer the door or so impulsive things like decide to cook a meal so that wasn't a worry. Our neighbours would help them in an emergency and close by.

MaisyPops · 13/07/2017 17:55

Walking home from about 8/9 is fine by me. Maybe younger if accompanied by an older sibling. (Unless the route is unusually risky).

I'd leave a 9 year old for half an hour if I nipped to the shop on the understanding that certain rules were followed. Probably wouldn't for longer.

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