My life isn't actually that shit but...
FuckMyUterus · 13/07/2017 10:54
I'm fully prepared to be told to get a grip of my silly, entitled self. Most days I'm content with my life and the way things are. But some days, like today, I just feel so unbelievably down. I did the school run in tears this morning (got a lot of funny looks but no-one asked whether I was ok) and all I've done since getting home is drink coffee and cry. I don't even know where to start in explaining everything that is wrong (or seems it today) so I guess I may just be after some very unmumsnetty sympathy
HerBluebiro · 13/07/2017 11:02
There doesn't have to be a reason for depression.
Often there is. Not always. And sometimes you only see it in retrospect.
Be gentle on yourself.
Do you know what you were crying about this morning? Was there anything in your head that could guide you now?
BibbidiBobbidi · 13/07/2017 11:02
I get days like this. Usually once a fortnight (I work every other weekend and it's usually after that).
It's exhausting being on the go all day every day.
Sometimes we just need a day in front of the TV with a nice cuppa and a bit of 'me' time.
There's nothing wrong with that! Take it easy today, have a hot bath, read a book, just do something for you!
Hope you feel better soon
dollydaydream114 · 13/07/2017 11:03
How often do you feel like this? If it's a frequent thing and doesn't seem to be connected with obvious triggers like external factors or your menstrual cycle, it could be that you're suffering from depression. It would be worth having a think about this and perhaps seeing your GP, who will ask the right questions to determine whether you are depressed.
Equally, do you think you might just be lonely? You mention you don't have friends in the area?
FuckMyUterus · 13/07/2017 11:06
Thanks for the replies. I know I suffer with depression, however a lot of antidepressants don't agree with me, and because we're TTC my doctor is reluctant to give me the ones that do agree with me. Like I say, some days I'll be fine, not excessively happy but just fine. And then there's days like this, where from the second I get out of bed, everything is shit, there's no point to anything and I'm no use to anyone all day.
MrsBadger · 13/07/2017 11:11
Also connect to some other people in your situation - when I first went selfemployed I went to a couple of local 'women in business' breakfasts and although I didnt make lasting friends it was helpful to meet other people in the same boat, some also struggling.
I found it also helped to think about the bits of the business I found interesting even if they only had indirect relevance eg I researched a lot about marketing, advertising etc even before we had a product to market. Helped me feel involved and productive even when I was just reading online drinking tea in pjs.
AnathemaPulsifer · 13/07/2017 11:16
There's a thriving local business community round here on Facebook - try that? You can take your laptop and work in the same place as others and make some friends. Get out for a brisk walk every day. Maybe do some volunteering, helping run the local business community or anything else you're interested in?
FuckMyUterus · 13/07/2017 11:21
I'm not entirely sure how much a business group would help, as the industry my business comes under is not the most popular, it's under a lot of scrutiny and when people ask about it I usually have to spend an hour dispelling the same 4/5 myths and answering the same questions over and over. It gets boring.
I think I just maybe need a big cup of 'man the fuck up' and a chat to some online friends
innagazing · 13/07/2017 11:42
i think it's your depression rearing it's head...
On a practical note, could you be brave enough to suggest to some of the other mum's that you go for a coffee after drop off at school? Is there a class list of parents that you could send a group email around to?
It's nearly end of term, so maybe suggest an end of term picnic after school on the day they break up, in the local park/field etc?
FuckMyUterus · 13/07/2017 11:46
innagazing I don't mean to sound snobby but I live in a fairly deprived area and the other SAHPs in the playground are all very shouty/sweary, constantly screaming after their children, even smacking them in the playground so I'm not sure they'd be much in the way of support. Just writing this thread and getting some of it out has made me feel massively better, some of the weight has disappeared.
I think the lack of real life friends is the main trigger for these episodes, my OH is my best friend, and he's amazing, but he's a bloke, he doesn't really do 'women talk' as he's of the typical caveman breed of men
Northend77 · 13/07/2017 11:47
OP I can totally sympathise with you on this today, I am feeling the same (for similar and different reasons, I obviously don't presume to know all of your reasons). I have cried this morning and just feel like I could do all day. I have to work but just can't raise any enthusiasm to do so. I am working from home today and have the radio on to try and help lift my spirits but in the back of my head all I can think about is how I desperately want a new job and keep getting rejections or ignored from applications, how the house is a mess and how we are struggling financially (unexpectedly) and have our twins' birthday, a holiday (already booked and can't cancel) and Christmas coming up. I just want to hide away in a dark place and wish for the year to end
Perhaps we can wallow in sorrow together
aibu1234 · 13/07/2017 11:53
i feel like this too! after i got divorced over 3 years ago i lost a number of friends (we didnt fall out it just happened that way) at the moment i feel sad regulary when my life is going great, im in a realtionship but am constantly questioning things. it was my birthday last week and it really hit home how few friends i now have xx
user1483981877 · 13/07/2017 11:56
Please can I come and wallow too? I am in this place as well. I don't work right now due to making a couple of decisions that I now regret (pity party for one over here!), I really dislike where we live, I have no friends and I just feel utterly trapped. I never used to mind the school runs but right now there are the worst moments of my current, pretty miserable, days. Most of the parents at my school are so busy talking about how fabulously busy their lives are I don't feel like I want to tell them anything about how sad and lonely mine is.
So, can I pull up a chair too? I have brought a massive chocolate cake.
FuckMyUterus · 13/07/2017 12:10
Fuck it, let's just make this a wallowly, self indulgent thread where we can moan about all the insignificant (or not) shit that gets us down time and time again.
Out business has only had one order this week. ONE. Despite copious advertising on relevant Facebook groups and other social media platforms. Gets me down.
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