My life isn't actually that shit but...

[FuckMyUterus]

I'm fully prepared to be told to get a grip of my silly, entitled self. Most days I'm content with my life and the way things are. But some days, like today, I just feel so unbelievably down. I did the school run in tears this morning (got a lot of funny looks but no-one asked whether I was ok) and all I've done since getting home is drink coffee and cry. I don't even know where to start in explaining everything that is wrong (or seems it today) so I guess I may just be after some very unmumsnetty sympathy

[lunaysol3828]

What are you selling, OP? Quite willing to buy one😂

Seriously, I know the struggle you're talking about. Not many friends either. It gets lonely sometimesz

[justkeepswimmingg]

Didn't want to read and run OP, but I don't have much advice for you, as I'm in the same place as you. Just wanted you to know that you're not alone.
I'm a SAHM, and it is beyond isolating and lonely. My DH always works a lot, and adult interaction is rare. The lack of friends definitely contributes to depression. I have one mummy friend who is usually quite busy, but manage to see her at least once every 2 weeks. It really does bring me down to earth once I've seen here. Maybe try some mummy meeting websites online.
I've been in my new area for over a year, and no one seems to be interested in being friends with me so my heavily pregnant self and DS are stuck home most days!

ps. Jealous about your Ben and Jerry's

[WomblingThree]

PSA: don't use St Johns Wort if you rely on the pill for contraception. It's amazing how many people still don't know this.

[Northend77]

Ooh, I've used St Johns Wort before and did find it helped but had forgotten about it. Thank you Cowardly, I'll pick some up on the nursery run later

[Cowardlycustard2]

Lots of good advice on this thread. I have had a rubbish couple of days feel v down. My DC are teenagers now and don't want to know me anymore, don't want to talk or give me a hug and retreat to bedrooms with closed doors after school. Reduced to cuddling Dcats instead. Don't have close friends or family nearby and a horrid big birthday coming up soon/impending mid life crisis . Def find excercise getting outdoors helps with mood. I have never got on very well with ADs but have found St Johns Wort helpful in the past as mood lifter. Is this something that you could maybe try? Hope you feel better soon

[GreenEyedMonster01]

"FuckMyUterus Thu 13-Jul-17 12:10:15
Fuck it, let's just make this a wallowly, self indulgent thread where we can moan about all the insignificant (or not) shit that gets us down time and time again.
Out business has only had one order this week. ONE. Despite copious advertising on relevant Facebook groups and other social media platforms. Gets me down."

[Northend77]

SweetLuck That's not exactly helpful is it? Even if it is that, then your tone isn't going to help someone, who has already said they are feeling very low, feel any better, is it

[GreenEyedMonster01]

I feel awful today to. And I feel awful about feeling awful.

We've been ttc since February last year and are trying to start tests at the Dr's now but its near impossible to get an appointment let alone a referral. The last time I went, the Dr - who looked like she was on drugs - told me there are no blood tests for this etc. She did send me for a scan though which has come back normal so now I need to get an appointment to speak to them about what we do next. I'm going to go down there tomorrow as I can never get through on the phone.

But anyway, SIL announced last night that she's PG with her 2nd. I am happy for them but just feel really sad for us too. I feel bad that I'm not as excited/happy as I should be, I didn't even ask h2b how far along she is and when she found out etc.

I also had ridiculous thoughts that they've stolen our thunder re getting married now - even though I know no-one else really cares about a wedding that's not theirs, and we are going to vegas anyway -
and that we can't get PG now until she's had theirs as that'll steal THEIR thunder.

I'm on a stupid low calorie diet atm in order to lose weight for the wedding and as I think that that is probably our issue conceiving so I don't think that is helping my mood.

I just need to get over myself and I will in a day or two, I just feel quite sad and teary atm.

[ofudginghell]

On a practical note if the business isn't viable and it's getting you really stressed maybe a part time job around school term hours would be better?
It's a good thing to be around others and not so isolated if your low.
Being skint doesn't help though.
I remind myself when I've only got a tenner to last me a week(right now)that at least bills are paid and everyone's happy but still makes me feel crappy.

What sort of online business do you have?did you have to pay a lot into it?x

[Isobelcormel]

Hope you're feeling a bit better soon. I felt a bit down too the last few days, mostly because I know working for myself will become a lot harder now with the holidays looming. I've resorted to not setting myself too many tight deadlines while the kids are on holiday and focus on them more.

Look after yourself, things will pick up. And running your own business is soo hard but also such a privilege really, as you've also said. Try and look at it from the positive side?

[drummergirl34]

this helped me: exercise until you sweat daily. eat fish and veggies. cut back on the sugar, tea,coffee, cola. get a schedule. go for a walk during the day to break it up. do something at the end of the day like some yoga positions / meditation to help you relax and sleep better.

[grandOlejukeofYork]

Is it Forever living or Detox teas or something?

[SweetLuck]

Oh god is it forever living?

[Littlechocola]

On days like that I go back to bed for an hour with a book and allow myself to have a pity party.
Write down two things you want to achieve today, little things that today seem huge, washing up and phoning the vets for example. When you've achieved them cross them off with a highlighter.

How long have you lived in the new area? Have you looked at mumsnet local so see if there are any like minded non slappy people near you?

[NiteFlights]

Do you have the 'biological' symptoms of depression such as early morning waking, feeling worse in the morning and slightly better as the day goes on, loss of appetite etc?

If so I honestly think you would benefit from medication. There is only so much that willpower and self-care can do. Maybe ask your dr for a psychiatric referral?

[EssieTregowan]

Ugh my SIL used to to say that to me all the time. 'But you're so lucky, you have a wonderful husband and kids, a lovely home, how can you be depressed?'

It made me feel much worse, because what kind of ungrateful shit would be depressed in my situation.

[WomblingThree]

JustDontGetItAtAll depression really isn't like that. If you can just talk yourself out of it, then it's not depression.

[JustDontGetItAtAll]

Sometimes it helps to realise what you DO have and be thankful for it.

You have a partner, presumably healthy children?? A stable home?

At least you're not a single parent with no friends and no income? I know that is likely to get misunderstood and taken as an insensitive thing to say but it's true? I'm battling depression and I've dropped my daughter off at nursery in tears before so I know what that is like. I however would give everything I own to have a partner to help me battle through life... x

[WomblingThree]

I'm honestly not being mean but you have diagnosed depression and you aren't taking medication. How else would you expect to feel?

If you had diabetes and didn't take your insulin, you would be very ill. If you had hypothyroidism and didn't take thyroxine, you would feel like shit. I completely understand that you feel you can't take the meds if you are TTC, but depression is an illness and it needs to be treated as such.

Can you ask for a referral to a perinatal mental health specialist? I would be hesitant to conceive if I couldn't take any meds at all, as I'd be a mess. I hope you can find some help to feel better.

[EssieTregowan]

I'm in a similar boat. Didn't even manage the school run today.

I'm still in PJs and have just eaten a huge bowl of cheesy chips. I'm summoning up the will to have a shower in a minute.

I'm a SAHM and dh works from 7-4 and then comes home and works from home from 6-10. It's madness. I'm so lonely, and so bored.

[nannybeach]

You have moved always a massive upheaval, new business, of course you are "entitled" to feel crap, have a cry. Yes try out the diet suggestions your gut actually has its own brain.

[fruitbrewhaha]

Someone further upthread mentioned exercise, have you tried that?
I get some dark days and I keep it under control with diet and exercise. I do a class a couple of times a week and go for run on some of the other day.

Also have a look online about diet, gut flora and depression. There a real link between your stomach and brain. Look at ways to increase your gut flora with probiotics (not those sugary actimel) and maintaining them with fermented foods, kimchi, sauerkraut, bio yoghurts, apple cider vinegar. There's a book called Gut, which is very informative. Unfortunately sugar and alcohol are bad news for your microbiome.

[Pumperthepumper]

Is your business an MLM?

[HannahMontannaBeachTowel]

Also I'm trying to figure out what your business could be! Sounds intriguing.

[HannahMontannaBeachTowel]

I felt this way yesterday . Have a summer cold that makes me feel super grotty. Baby has it too which makes her clingy. OH is going away this weekend which made me cry (I'm not worried about him going. I'll just miss him) and then I cried because a lady at the bank wasn't helpful. I also have a long term worry about going back to work weighing over my head which means I have a constant undercurrent of uneasiness. I'm sure your business gives you the same feeling. Wishing you the best lovely and that you feel better tomorrow. After all tomorrow is another day