To be unable to cope! Posting for traffic.

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I'll try to keep this short. Me and my partner broke up 3 weeks ago after a very turbulent on off relationship of two years. We have an 11 month old together and I have a 3yo from previous relationship.

I was gutted but had started feeling stronger then had some issues re contact, he wants to take me to court, is telling anyone who will listen that I'm a liar and have brainwashed everyone into thinking he's a bad person. I've been used for a long time and can see now that he didn't love me like I did him.

Now to the main point. I'm just not coping, not coping with the kids, my responsibilities. I don't want to do it anymore. When we were together I found it hard going from one to two but had him to lean on for limited support. I am broken. Barely holding it together. I spend the days waiting for the kids bed time. I have nice moments with them but on the most part just feel like I don't want it anymore. I just feel like I don't want to be a mum anymore. With my first I never felt any of this but right now I just want to turn my back on it all. I'm tired, resentful, finding life very very hard at the minute and I just can't see past it. Friends and family don't understand. They tell me I'm strong, I'm a great mum etc the inner me is laughing thinking are you joking? Everything is a struggle. I went to the doctor about two months ago to query PND she basically told me she'd refer me to a talking service and made no mention of PND. It's getting worse, it's getting harder. I'm at the point I just want to give them to their dads and that makes me so so upset because I love them so much I'm just not coping. I hate my life at the minute I really do.

I just need someone to help me, to tell me what to do. I just feel so hugely overwhelmed and I'm at breaking point

I would go back to GP or see a different GP.

what kind of support do you have in RL? family? Friends?

Do you work? Are your DC in childcare? any break from them at all?

You're having such a hard time. Please do go to the talking service so you can access a therapist for some emotional support, that would be a really good first step towards feeling better. You could also contact social services if you feel you're not coping - they may be able to provide some practical help. Hope things improve for you.

Go back to the dr and tell them you have PND and need help.

Make them listen to you, it's really important.

You can self refer to homestart they will give you the support you need.

I have family support, my eldest goes to her dad every weekend but I'm with the baby day in day out all day all night.

At the minute every day I wake up I sit thinking "this... again" I'm just so fed up of it all. I have good moments, I don't know if they way I'm feeling is just down to my current circumstances or if I really do need help. All I know is that usually I am strong but at the moment I just feel entirely weak, like I'm stuck in the middle of a never ending tornado with no way out

I think it's normal to feel very down when you've just been through a breakup. When my (now ex) dh left me I remember sitting on the floor reading dd then aged 3 a bedtime story and feeling like I wanted to run away, my heart felt absolutely broken. I would definitely go back and see another gp in the hope of getting some anti depressants to give you a lift but also I'd think about what you might be able to do for you. For me what helped me to feel better was getting a part time job, so I met completely new people, decorating the house (mainly from wilco as I had hardly any money!) so it felt fresh and didn't feel like the home I had with him, and I started doing exercise DVDs in the evening to boost my self confidence and also the exercise helped lift my mood a bit. It is very difficult when you have such small children and have been through so much stress.

Go back to the doctor and explain again just how bad you are feeling. Ask to see a different doctor if that's possible. Are there any charities or support groups in your area that you can use? Children's centres are also great they can help support you and also provide playgroups for your children to attend. Sound like you are very overwhelmed at the moment. Please do go back to your doctor urgently first though

does your 3 year old attend childcare?
when is your maternity leave over? I found things a lot easier when I returned to work...

I felt like this when I had PNd.
I also broke up with exH when DS was 6 months old, different circumstances, but I know how hard it is.

Honestly, what made it better for me was anti depressants. I wish I'd gone on them earlier!

Find another Gp, take up the talking therapy, and contact home start.

Good luck, it will be ok.

I got sacked from work during my probationary period when I told them I was pregnant. So I don't have a job to go to. I do have an interview at the weekend though.

I feel at the moment like I don't want to do anything. I don't want to go anywhere. My appetite has disappeared, I'm trying to hold it all together for my children but I'm barely keeping that together. I just want to enjoy them more, I want to enjoy the baby like I enjoyed my 3yo when she was a baby. I don't enjoy it, I find it overwhelming. I find myself thinking that I don't want to do it anymore

3yo goes to nursery two days a week then to her dads for 3 days a week. When she's home I don't have time for her, the baby is a very "Moany" baby. Poor 3yo needs more time and attention and I just can't give it to her

Sounds like you need a break from the baby. Is there any way you could get this? Nursery? Home start?

see GP. you do sound depressed.

Sounds like you are struggling with the baby more than with anything. Can you send the baby to a childminder or nursery for 1 or 2 days/week?
What about the dad? could he take her for 1 or 2 days? any chance your family can help out in the short term whilst you get back on your feet?

I can send her to nursery when I'm back in work. My mum has her here and there for me but rarely overnight.

can you involve her dad more. maybe also a regular overnight?

Her dad at the moment is messing us around. Telling me he's taking me to court for access but then when I explain why I pulled it back he blocked me on everything. He knows where we live, if he wanted access so badly he would be knocking my door, not blocking me on everything. He's basically abandoned us, he knows how hard it is and he's gone back to mummy and daddy and left me to pick up all the pieces of his shit storms

I can't allow her to go there overnight, he's sharing a room with his alcoholic brother, the house is absolutely filthy, filthy carpets with huge holes, Moulds round the Windows, drinks spilt on the walls. I would never actually rest knowing she was sleeping there. I did say when we broke up though that it's day time only until he'd deep cleaned and decorated that bedroom.

I had this when my second was born...she was so whiny and I felt I had no time for the older one. I think it's important to spend a few hours alone with your older one if you can and your mum could watch the baby for a bit. I was in same situation but both mine had the same useless dad blocking me all the time etc....i feel for you x

@Poisongirl81 does it get easier?

Oh and definitely try a different gp...theur attitudes can be miles apart.

Gp kept asking me what I wanted her to do. I just said I don't know as I don't understand how I'm feeling. She said medication is used as a last resort

Em it gets easier in some respects but I still feel like you do like I'm stuck in a never ending cycle. Their dad now has them a bit more as things have called down between us but still nothing regular set up. Mine tend to fight all the time which makes it worse. My younger one did grow out of the whininess thank goodness but only when she turned about 8! Aah sorry I'm not helping just being honest.. .

I'm reluctant to take anti depressants but if I do have PND and there's something that will make me enjoy my kids more or at least help me feel able to cope I'd definitely consider it

I would ask for medication.. I have been on them for years but I'm not sure if they are helping or not really.

You care deeply a bout your DC's because you don't want them going to your ex's filthy house. That shows you are a good mum. Don't doubt that at all you care very much and it is totally understandable that you are feeling overwhelmed. There are people who can help you and give you some respite. Please try the local children's centre of you have one and look for groups on FB. I promise when you do something proactive you will start to feel better, take one step at a time