What attracts you to someone? If you wanted to be friends..

[FindMeIfYouCan]

Just wondering what would attract you to someone instantly to become friends?
Mine is, if the other person is polite and kind.
What's your's?

One of my favourite books is High Fidelity. There's a great part where Rob discusses what attracts people to each other. His theory is "It's not what you're like, it's what you like". Seems pretty spot on to me.

So, after intelligence and lack of religious waffle, it's that - what you like....

Someone who's up for doing fun stuff. With wine.

And someone who's also very attractive like me. Then they don't get jealous of my looks.

Hahaha.

Open hearted and open minded
Relaxed and in the moment
Can see the absurdity of life and doesn't take it too seriously
Honest and has integrity
Keeps secrets and doesn't bitch

I love my friends

Drinking wine, and talking til the cows come home.

Someone who is genuine and doesn't try too hard, smiles and makes a good cuppa

A biting sense of humour, independence and an ability to laugh at themselves.

What doesn't do it for me is people who try to ingratiate themselves with you by knocking someone else down.

Find I never understood the 'bitchy' girls when I was at school, just really wasn't my bag...they even sent me to Coventry because I wouldn't join their bitch-fests.

Then when they realised I wasn't remotely bothered that they were ignoring me, they went the other way and tried to be really ingratiating and curry favour.

Just bizarre...and I understand this behaviour even less in grown women. If you're bitchy in front of me, I won't call you out on it (I don't do confrontation) but I will mentally mark your card and keep you firmly at arms length in future...

Same sense of humour. Similar although not the same values. Accepting of differing opinions. Doesn't take life too seriously. Likes a drink and likes going out as opposed to drinking at home. Reliable. Must never ever ever describe themselves as intellectual

MaQueen: What I find more bizarre is they bitch about someone and you fully expect them not to dislike the person. Why would they bitch otherwise? Next time you see them,they are so friendly and nice to that person ( who was literally shredded to bit behind her back not long ago)
Multi faced b**s. They have so many f add, don't know which one to slap first

Confident, clever and witty are the magic 3! I have quite a few friends in various 'groups' (school mums, sporty, old school friends etc) but that is the common denominator

When I find someone like that I make them be my friend!

Find That kind of person makes me think "hmm if you're nice to that person's face but bitching behind her back are you like that with everyone and doing the same to me?" I'm afraid I ghost those people.

Confident, independent, 'sorted'. Biggest turnoff = neediness.

A very crude sense of humour

KeiraKnightly: I do the same but do wonder how do they manage to be so two faced..... it's a talent I have to say...

Laid back, easy going, fun, can laugh at themselves and doesn't over Analyse anything. Not a bitch

I always wonder why these people think you're going to like or trust them after they have spent 15 minutes bitching about all and sundry to you...because all I'm thinking is 'WTF will you be saying about me in future?'

Avoid. Avoid. Avoid.

But, objectively speaking I think these sort of people see gossip and bitchiness as a type of social currency with which to buy acceptance into a group - only problem is that once accepted by the group you are socialising with bitchy&gossipy women, who you can't ever trust and everyone is always watching their backs...

N, thanks.

MaQueen : You have put my feelings in words. I also dislike people who always play the victim card along with the bitchiness.... I play along,without getting involved but lost it few days ago and gave her a piece of my mind.... 😝

Someone who has a dry sense of humour and gets exactly where I'm coming from without taking offence :)

I tend to 'click' with certain people, whereas others keep their distance Hahaha!!!!

A drunk semi-intellectual who is quite independent and doesn't want to do everything together with an eclectic taste in music and a slightly dark sense of humour.

And doesn't expect dh to socialise with there significant other on a regular basis added by dh

Oh and open minded and able to see things from different perspectives.

Similar sense of humour would be my first criteria for someone. Then just a general pleasant demeanour and an engaging person who I click with.
I don't like being 'crowded' at first so someone who wants to be too friendly initially would put me off!
Then when I've got to know them a bit it would be reliability, loyalty, things in common (whether it be shared interests, similar intelligence level etc).

There's a boundary-less-ness that I'm really attracted to - like when someone acts like your friend the second you meet them.
No small talk or politeness or bollocks social graces. I like over sharers. It's all so honest.

Sensible shoes.

Or rather, the type of personality that causes a woman to wear sensible shoes.

Can't go wrong with that.

Honesty, directness, sense of humour