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AIBU to resign?

38 replies

Ameliel · 10/07/2017 22:25

I would love to hear your opinion; AIBU to resign? I have a pretty good job but my boss is driving me mad. I work as a designer for a consultancy. I realise I'm very lucky as I work 4 day week; money is pretty good, the office is 10 minutes from my house . I get a bonus, private health insurance, have allocated parking, nice desk and I like my job and feel that I'm totally on top of it... but it's just one thing that brings it all boss is a total control freak. We need to sign in every morning and in and out even for lunch. If you're one minute late you are in trouble. My boss doesn't like microwave ovens so we haven't got one - I hear he actually threw the last microwave out after someone cooked "too smelly " food. Today I was told of for taking too many personal calls at work time. I have nanny who sometimes calls for advise, I feel that I need to take these calls. Few weeks ago my daughter was poorly,so I stayed home with her while the nanny took my other two to school. Then went to work for about an hour, then took my daughter to doctors (that was the only appointment available), then worked from home until nanny was back home with the other two children, then went to office and worked until late to make my hours up. I got told off , my boss said I should have not worked from home but should have taken a holiday instead. He is basically very set in his ways; quite chauvinist (and I'm the only female engineer in the company of 25 , I often feel he looks down on me because of my sex). he doesn't approve flexible hours or working from home ( even in emergencies). I have plenty of experience and used to have a lot more responsibility in my last job, but in this job I have to run everything past the boss. I have been there for 2.5years and was hoping it would have been my "forever " job, but I'm not sure anymore.. it seems like a dead end. There's no trust or communication, my boss doesn't include me in any decisions. I have been looking around and could find another job fairly easily...But I don't think I will find anything as good in terms of location or remuneration if I leave, but the constant controlling of every little thing is eroding my confidence and making me feel really down... am I overreacting or should I just keep my head down and appreciate the good points of the job? WWYD?

OP posts:

SheRaaarghPrincessOfPower · 10/07/2017 22:29

OK, so signing in and out is treating you like a child, which is daft, but are you late often?

Microwave is no big deal at all

He's got a point about personal phone calls at work. My employer is very lenient and while they wouldn't say anything, personal calls are emergencies only generally, certainly not frequent

You should have taken the day as leave if you knew there wasn't the flexibility to work from home.


SheRaaarghPrincessOfPower · 10/07/2017 22:31

It sounds like there's more to this though. A bit of flexibility goes a long way


ilovesooty · 10/07/2017 22:34

I can't believe you're seriously objecting to signing in and out. Surely it's necessary for safety reasons and in case of fire?


Intransige · 10/07/2017 22:34

Micromanagement is pointless and demoralising, as is clock watching in any job where performance is outcome oriented rather than presence oriented.

The work environment you've described would drive me nuts. I think you should find a better job.


UrsulaPandress · 10/07/2017 22:34

Is he the owner?

I'd struggle to work under those conditions but you need to weigh up the pros and cons.


Squeegle · 10/07/2017 22:36

If he is lacking in respect, then I actually think it's unsustainable long term. You can have that tough conversation with him where you ask for that trust. But ultimately if he doesn't change then it's time for you to look elsewhere. Life's too short!!


WillRikersExtraNipple · 10/07/2017 22:38

Surely it's necessary for safety reasons and in case of fire?

Clearly it isn't since not every job does so. And why would it be?


Theresnonamesleft · 10/07/2017 22:38

Signing in and out I can understand. We have to do it, not because we are treated like kids but for emergencies. Key staff who are always on site can log in remotely to make sure everyone is accountable.

Microwave after some of the things colleagues put in, wish we could get rid. Can still smell it a hour later. It's not nice.

Personal calls, lots of work places ban mobiles full stop and restrict certain emails. As pp we are allowed emergency calls only.

Not all companies allow flexi time. You knew this was the case so should have followed alternative procedure. You are lucky you could take it as holiday in short notice.


ilovesooty · 10/07/2017 22:38

I don't think he's unreasonable in expecting you to be authorised to work from home if you're expected to complete a set number of hours. It depends what the procedure is and how senior your role is.


Loopytiles · 10/07/2017 22:40

Those positives are pretty big IMO. Resigning would be taking a massive risk. If you're that unhappy and don't feel able to tackle the boss, get something else good lined up before leaving.


RainbowBriteRules · 10/07/2017 22:41

I have a micromanaging boss. It is fucking awful and lots of people are leaving because of it. If you can find another job I would leave. I am stuck for now because of the hours and childcare but am making a slow exit plan.


Loopytiles · 10/07/2017 22:42

Taking annual leave (and not unplanned homeworking) for poorly DC is pretty standard.

Could your nanny text or email you on your work email address instead of phone? That'd make your exchanges with her less obvious.


HookandSwan · 10/07/2017 22:46

I have a what's app group with my nanny bosses. They way if their busy they don't reply and so if I ring it means "emergency" and they can justify taking that call.


SaintEyning · 10/07/2017 22:49

I just resigned because a micromanager was reinstated as my line manager after having had all responsibility stripped three and a half years ago for same. New boss, no knowledge of the backstory, coronation and immediate resignation. The micromanager is now managing the 'no detail' boss upward and I can see it's beginning to dawn that a huge mistake was made. Oh well, I'll take a pay cut in exchange for my sanity. Every Day Of The Week. Life is too short to hate what you spend your waking hours doing. Good luck - find a way to free yourself - mine was a 50% downsize in home which allows the pay cut.


ReinettePompadour · 10/07/2017 22:49

Its clearly getting you down so YANBU to want to work in a different environment.

However, I used to be emergency services and I did have to clock in and out. We didn't have a microwave because the previous one didn't have its electrical testing certificate maintained so they just removed them. We definitely couldn't take personal calls except in dire emergencies and we couldn't work from home.

These things aren't unusual but if you know that your job could easily be done from home and that taking the odd phone call wouldn't interfere with your work and you could easily work flexibly because your role enables flexible working then theres no reason why you should not start job hunting. You only get 1 life and it's too short to spend it working for a prat. Grin


SnowiestMountain · 10/07/2017 22:50

I don't think you're compatible, it seems your boss is on the stricter side of standard procedures whilst you are looking for something more flexible which it is unlikely this company is going to offer

I'd look for something else, but I wouldn't go along the route of this company being particularly at fault, it just doesn't work for you and your circumstances


mydietstartsmonday · 10/07/2017 22:53

Head down take the money. Get in on time leave on time, phone in sick every time there is an emergency.


poweredbybread · 10/07/2017 22:57

What mydietstartsmondaysaidSmile


ilovesooty · 10/07/2017 22:58

phone in sick every time there is an emergency



nosleepforme · 10/07/2017 23:11

i used to have a micromanager and it was the best job i ever had. i just learnt how to deal with my manager.
i think the only person that can tell you if you should quit is you yourself. it seems like you know the answer but dont want to admit it.


pinotnoirismyjam · 10/07/2017 23:12

He sounds a little bit overzealous in the micromanaging!

Only thing I'd query is did you ask for permission before working from home? My workplace is very flexible, but it's still expected to discuss and agree working from home arrangements ahead of time, unless it's a last-minute childcare issue, in which case you'd take leave if can't pre-plan cover.

Personally I'd say the benefits outweigh the little niggles, but that depends on the extent to which they are annoying you!


MikeUniformMike · 10/07/2017 23:12

Keep the phonecalls to a minimum. Watch your timekeeping.
Look for another job.


qwertyuiop1234 · 10/07/2017 23:15

Is the boss new OP?


brendani9 · 10/07/2017 23:19

Micromanager broke my last job. It's horrible when done badly. YANBU.
The signing in, the microwave etc is just detail (not understating the impact it has on you) but it is the process by which they control. And tell themselves they're better than you.
Do your utmost to find something else, or make them look like cnuts until the gilt is stripped from the gingerbread.


Ameliel · 10/07/2017 23:22

Thanks for your comments. The boss is the owner of the company; he is keeping very tight rein on everything. I'm not opposed to signing in and out but the fact that I'll get told off if I'm even one minute late (happens occasionally even I try very hard not to be), is demoralising. He doesn't appreciate that I always make up any lateness and habitually work late, so end up doing more than enough hours. I take the point about personal telephone calls but I never call out during work time; I take short calls from my nanny/ family. It's all so inflexible and makes me feel like I'm at school! I take pride in what I do but don't feel appreciated. I know I can't change my boss, he has a real OCD (other colleagues agree but everyone just kind of puts up with it).

OP posts:
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