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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

TO think he's not a fucking teddy bear?

201 replies

Bunlicker · 10/07/2017 21:56

^Friends and associates of Mr Matthew said they were astounded to hear that the genteel editor was under arrest. “He is the biggest teddy bear I know,” said one family friend.

Aibu to think this is shocking reporting?

Intentionally throwing a hammer at a person is a pretty clear indication of the man's character.

British newspaper editor 'admits he accidentally killed wife by throwing a hammer at her in their Dubai home' - The Telegraph
apple.news/ALsGp3iLhSV23LnKUEzkOFA

OP posts:
AssignedMentalAtBirth · 11/07/2017 15:16

Thanks Hurtle. That's really interesting. To speak out on such subjects while in the country is brave or/and stupid.

When I was there, they didn't even allow the (printed) Guardian.

I agree that there is something not right about this story. the Telegraph reporting it in the way they have done is disgusting on various levels

HurtleTheTurtle · 11/07/2017 15:17

MercuryMadness

They haven't really chosen an angle though have they? They have shared some of the few quotes available, along with snippets from the UAE government. They can't go and share quotes saying "all his friends have called him a monster" when that isn't what has been said. I think that if he is found guilty then the quotes are important because it shows how some people have no idea what monsters can actually be like.

I covered in my earlier post the reasons why they may not share forced confessions (if that is indeed what it was).

Anyone reading quotes on Facebook? Hopefully someone picks up on these...

HurtleTheTurtle · 11/07/2017 15:18

""To speak out on such subjects while in the country is brave or/and stupid."

You've lived there so you know how it works - you'll get away with something for so long, but as soon as you piss the wrong person off it can backfire very quickly.

The biggest issue I have with this whole thing is why it was not reported sooner - I cannot understand the time delay. I just can't get my head around it - everyone in Dubai must have realised something was happening given the fact it was in JV.

HurtleTheTurtle · 11/07/2017 15:21

The article has just been updated to share this:

"A photograph posted on his Facebook on June 25 showed him shaking hands with Sheikh Mohammed bin Rashid al-Maktoum, the ruler of Dubai"

Bunlicker · 11/07/2017 15:32

That's was in the original article I posted. I mention it in one of my posts.

OP posts:
Firefries · 11/07/2017 15:36

I'm not a media fan but I do know the media often know stuff that they can't publish, so will twist something a little. They can twist something to get a point of view across - like focusing on how nice someone is - why would they throw a hammer at said wife? This case did strike me as odd too. It's possible people may later come out and say this husband was not good to his wife, but the medias slant did leave me wondering here, were they pointing towards an oddity? Was something being twisted / coerced by the UAE? Reporting like this can be pointing towards this without saying anything. Remember the UAE are not always fair, like western laws and human rights, and the media don't always give the exact truth.

Bunlicker · 11/07/2017 15:40

Yes but fireflies these articles get written about men with histories of violence (as in the article linked above written by the victims' sons)

And that is the point. You start questioning if he's really guilty or there is more to it. Most of the time there isn't more. Run of the mill wife beater kills wife.

OP posts:
thereallochnessmonster · 11/07/2017 15:42

I tweeted the journalist who wrote the Telegraph piece this morning; I havent had a reply yet. Awful stuff. Subjective, irrelevant reporting ('genteel') designed to make readers feel sorry for the bloke. Urgh.

HurtleTheTurtle · 11/07/2017 15:42

Bun Weird. The article just updated for me with lots more text in it - i didn't see you mention anywhere in this thread about the Sheikh? Sorry if I missed that...

Some confusion whether he's been charged with pre-meditated murder or murder, and whether he will get a jail sentence, blood money or death by firing squad.

He was arrested last Wednesday - so that's five days before a statement was released and apparently a UK journalist named him prior to him being named in the UAE media. This just sounds dodgy as fuck to me.

HurtleTheTurtle · 11/07/2017 15:43

Bunlicker At this present moment in time, he's innocent. There has still been no trial.

Feel bloody awful for his son having to visit him.

Bunlicker · 11/07/2017 15:49

thereallochness let us know if you get a reply.

Turtle I think I might have said about meeting important people or something, it was inresponse to that bit, but I was on phone and struggling to get back to article to copy and paste his name and title.

OP posts:
HurtleTheTurtle · 11/07/2017 15:55

Bunlicker Ah shit, sorry - I read that but I thought it was in regards to influence within journalism; I didn't realise he had been with royalty so recently.

Another thing I don't understand with this reporting is they are saying it's premeditated murder (the charge), yet also reporting that the confession was for an accidental action - surely those two things don't correlate? It with either be premeditated murder with deliberate hammer attack (planned), or, accidental hammer attack with a manslaughter charge.

Also just read that she was in bed, asleep.

CheshireChat · 11/07/2017 16:40

If she was asleep then it implies premeditation and there's no conceivable way it was accidental.

There's not a lot of scenarios where you accidentally kill someone with a hammer other than the one suggested by a PP (drop it on someone). I mean it's not exactly something you throw about, particularly not high enough (head level) nor hard enough Confused.

Also he can be both guilty and not receive a fair trial.

SonicBoomBoom · 11/07/2017 16:53

It is a bit of a sobering thought that if dh were to take a rifle and go and shoot his bank manager, the subsequent reporting would almost certainly be about the horrendous loss the victim was to his family, what a lovely man he was and a little about what his background and achievements were.

But if he were to shoot me, then the reporting would probably be about dh, about how lovely everybody always thought him, and eventually (once his guilt was established) with some speculation as to what made him flip, with some general reflections on the sadness of it all, like some ghastly disease that had overtaken our family and hit him particularly badly.

Quite.

I understand what Hurtle is saying. It may have been a forced confession, because that has happened once/twice whatever previously. So it could have happened here, it wouldn't be completely unheard of.

However, it's much more common, and much more likely, that he's just a common garden wife-beater who's killed his wife, as happens twice a week at least.

Pretending that reporting here, in all of these instances of women murdered by their partners, focuses far too much on the suspect/perpetrator's good qualities, rather than those of the victim (woman) is the issue the OP is highlighting here. And the thread shouldn't be derailed into a discussion about all the farfetched reasons why he might be innocent.

Tazerface · 11/07/2017 17:16

I think we all understand what Hurtle is saying, but tbh the real reason is just why Hurtle feels the need to argue the toss over everything when the point Bunlicker was making is that reporting is grossly swayed towards compassion for a man that has flipped rather than anything to do with the murdered woman.

HurtleTheTurtle · 11/07/2017 17:26

Tazerface I didn't argue the points, i shared my concerns with digging into reporters at this stage- she ripped into me for saying that it could be a forced confession and then banged on about how he would have been fluent in Arabic, and how she didn't give a shit about lazy expats...

The reporting in this case will be skewed, to protect the tourism industry in Dubai. It's a crap case to use for any example because of this. It is also going to be biased reporting.

The point about reporting and DV is really valid, but it should not be based on a skewed case like this... It completely dilutes the argument because of the government input, media bias and criminal court system... [This is of course assuming he's found guilty].

Every single piece of media coming out of the Middle East on this will be reported very carefully.

HurtleTheTurtle · 11/07/2017 17:43

I have just had the horrible realisation that if he is found guilty it will be their Son who has to decide whether he receives blood money, or whether his father will be executed (with the final say in the death penalty being carried out being Sheikh Mohammed bin Rashid).

QuentinSummers · 11/07/2017 17:52

Just read the whole thing from this morning and tbh hurtle it seems like you are more invested in the media perception of this man and why he may be innocent, rather than the point bun was making about the fact the murdered woman is invisible in all the reporting.
To be honest you sound very similar to the papers "he couldn't have done it, well respected academic, friends with the sheikh blah blah"
It's not about him. It's about a woman who's been brutally murdered and what a loss that is

HurtleTheTurtle · 11/07/2017 17:57

QuentinSummers

I have never said he couldn't have done it; I've said the media reporting concerns me because of the history of criminal and court cases in Dubai. I am not stupid enough to think a man of good steading in the community cannot commit heinous crimes.

I have also never said his links with the Royal Family have meant he couldn't have committed this crime - however, these links are important for sentencing reasons (as i said above).

I have said, we don't know if he did this yet - as there has not been a lot of evidence shared, nor has there been a court case where he was proven guilty.

I have said, that cases like the Hawes family, were reported poorly, however, this case, at this moment in time, is very different due to the media and government influence.

HurtleTheTurtle · 11/07/2017 17:57

Does anyone know how to get cached pages with dates on please?

QuentinSummers · 11/07/2017 18:02

Hmm. Struggling to see the difference tbh. A woman has been brutally murdered with a hammer and the newspapers aren't saying anything about her, instead practically eulogising her husband.

Wawawaa · 11/07/2017 18:04

Hmmm, I actually worked under this guy - not directly but saw him about the office. He was your averagely genteel (is that the right word?) kind of ex public school boy with excellent manners (no idea if he actually is ex public school, but you know the type). It was a horrible place to work with a terrible office culture but he seemed nice and I couldn't believe the news yesterday. I'm not defending him in ANY way by the way. I really feel for his wife. Quite a tragedy. I certainly wouldn't want to end my days in a Dubai jail!

SonicBoomBoom · 11/07/2017 18:18

I have said, that cases like the Hawes family, were reported poorly, however, this case, at this moment in time, is very different due to the media and government influence.

But the point OP is making is that it's not different. There may be additional factors at play with tourism and whatnot. But why is the whole article about him and how successful he is, rather than the woman who has been killed? Its exactly the same as every other report here (note, here, in the UK, by our media and newspapers), it's all about the man. Not the victim who has lost her life.

Haworthy · 11/07/2017 18:24

Quentin, you are completely misreading Hurtle. It is depressingly entirely likely that this 'teddy bear' did in fact murder his wife, and is nonetheless being eulogised by the media and those who knew him, and his victim being given a correspondingly low profile.

I believe all that Hurtle is saying is that we cannot yet make a direct comparison with a case like the appalling media reporting of the murder of Clodagh Hawe and her sons because (a) Alan Hawe left notes confessing before he hanged himself after he murdered his family so there was never any question of his guilt, or him having to be charged and tried and (b) Jane Matthew's murder took place in a country which is not a democracy, which has a poor record on human rights, where the authorities have a vested interest in promoting the place as a safe tourist destination, where the legal, police and prison services are notoriously corrupt and nepotistic, and which has a heavily self-censoring press.

Yes, absolutely, media reporting on DV and family annihiliators is sexist, biased, and heavily invested in exonerating the perpetrators -- the 'good man who snapped' model, which turns his victim into the semi-invisible one who therefore made him 'snap'. There is every chance that this is exactly what is happening in this case, but like Hurtle I'm more reluctant to point the finger at this point at a hog-tied UAE media, or to regard the fact that Francis Matthew was charged with his wife's murder as indicating the authorities believe he is guilty, or regarding the fact that he signed a confession as conclusive.

I'm certainly aware of things that happened when I lived there that were never reported. It's a strange country.

HurtleTheTurtle · 11/07/2017 18:25

But sonic it is different because we only have guarded information being released from the Middle East.

It's different for the very fact that it's taken 6 days for the death to even be announced; as no media reported anything (probably due to the police / government not releasing any information).