TO think he's not a fucking teddy bear?

[Bunlicker]

^Friends and associates of Mr Matthew said they were astounded to hear that the genteel editor was under arrest. “He is the biggest teddy bear I know,” said one family friend.

Aibu to think this is shocking reporting?

Intentionally throwing a hammer at a person is a pretty clear indication of the man's character.

British newspaper editor 'admits he accidentally killed wife by throwing a hammer at her in their Dubai home' - The Telegraph
apple.news/ALsGp3iLhSV23LnKUEzkOFA

@Bunlicker
"He should have been fluent when he got there"

That really doesn't reflect the reality of many overseas jobs. Fine if you are in the Foreign Office and they pay you to go on an intensive language course before you are posted somewhere. But not the case in many jobs.

My DH was seconded to a country where neither of us spoke the language. We went at very short notice (he went the next week and I went about six weeks later). We started learning the language when we got there as did the other people on the contract. After less than two years he was moved again, this time to a country where I had good spoken knowledge of the main language but not terribly good written.

Should we have stayed at home and missed the opportunity to learn about other countries because we weren't already fluent? Of course not, that would be ludicrous.

Hurtle, monkeymamma's story is the same I posted the link too: it was reported all over the national press. The murders happened in Spalding.

It was a very moving account and they sound the most amazing young men. Also incredibly supportive of one another. But it does make one wonder how many murder victims do not have amazing young sons to fight the battle of their good name for them.

I think UAE nationals still get the opportunity to pay "blood money".

They do, yes, because there's been some controversy recently about the amounts of diyya not being enough (because it's Sharia-mandated, and hence a fixed amount equivalent to the value of 100 camels -- I think around DG 200000 at the moment.) When I lived in Dubai, there was a horrificspate of migrant workers throwing themselves under cars on Sheikh Zayed Rd so that their families at home would benefit from diyya.

corythatwas Thank you; I've just read it.

If Mr Matthews is guilty, this is exactly the type of story that needs to be shared in (expat) communities. People do need to stand up and say, "we kept quiet but suspected abuse", or "we had no idea this was happening" (whichever it was) I think - I can't see how we get real progress with DV otherwise. It is still such a taboo subject.

The media coverage is shocking, as a general concept. It would be hard to dispute that - there have been plenty of other instances that evidence it.

I do, however, agree with Hurtle that there really ought to be some sense of "innocent until proven guilty", preferably after a fair trial. This man may be a bastard, or he may be a victim of a corrupt system - we don't know.

Either way, the media coverage is shit, for the man-centric focus.

Haworthy Thanks for the clarification; I wonder if he will be given the opportunity to pay blood money if he's found guilty then.

absolutely agree with the innocent until proven guilt

which is all the more reason to avoid the man-centric approach altogether

If a British foreigner dies abroad in any suspicious circumstances, then the foreign office usually make a statement don't they? I can't find anything about this from the FO from last week. I know this may seem like a small point to some, but I am really wondering why nothing was said about Jane Matthew's death sooner?

these are interesting points, Hurtle? any idea what might be going on?

I really have no idea, it just seems really odd that it's taken five days to see any press or foreign office statement on a woman being murdered.

Perhaps it was due to notification of next of kin?

Hurtle - you mentioned there were comments on social media about Jane - can you point me in the direction of these? I am not very good at social media, but she was a friend in my youth and I would like to be able to honour her memory.

WorkingItOut Most of the comments I can see are from friends - there are some comments on the LovingDubai blog articles but they are strewn between comments that are vile victim blaming statements so I don't suggest that's the best place.

You could try and e-mail the editor of the Gulf News and ask that he passes it onto their son?

^"He should have been fluent when he got there"
That really doesn't reflect the reality of many overseas jobs. Fine if you are in the Foreign Office and they pay you to go on an intensive language course before you are posted somewhere. But not the case in many jobs.
My DH was seconded to a country where neither of us spoke the language. We went at very short notice (he went the next week and I went about six weeks later). We started learning the language when we got there as did the other people on the contract. After less than two years he was moved again, this time to a country where I had good spoken knowledge of the main language but not terribly good written.Should we have stayed at home and missed the opportunity to learn about other countries because we weren't already fluent? Of course not, that would be ludicrous.^

Did you actually read what I was responding to or the thread?

He should have been fluent. He that particular very well educated man who studied Arabic and Islamic studies should have been fluent on arrival. His professions after the fact also imply someone with fluency. Don't get me wrong though I'm very impressed at your family's opportunity to learn about other countries I've spent most of the past two decades in countries away from my home country, but I hadn't spent four years doing a degree that would make me fluent in arrival.

"His professions after the fact also imply someone with fluency."

He was editor of an English-language Newspaper. Which part of the fact he worked in English are you not getting? There was no need for him to have a fluent command of written Arabic for his job.

"I don't give a shit about lazy expats who refuse to learn the language of the country they're in after 30 years. He should have been fluent when he got there"

You were actually speaking about all expats when you started your comment...

And I know exactly what I was talking about it because I wrote it.

I then explained to you what the fuck I meant by that comment.

So even if you misunderstood the first time I was talking about him not those other ones who never learn the language.

But let me repeat it for you

That man would have been fluent.

You can try and argue with me but none of that changes the reporting of the paper.

It was wrong.

He was editor of an English-language Newspaper. Which part of the fact he worked in English are you not getting? There was no need for him to have a fluent command of written Arabic for his job.

So if a polish editor here was making a Polish newspaper, you don't think it would maybe help if he had a decent command of the local language so he could help disseminate the news to people in Polish?

"That man would have been fluent."

No, it's quite likely he wasn't fluent at writing - he has been given a translator. The courts have now provided him with a translator (after they charged him).

So clearly, he isn't fluent.

The paper is IN ENGLISH, for the expatriate population.

There are many journalists working for that paper, they do not have to be fluent in written Arabic.

There would be little use for a man who wanted to study the culture and religion of that area to only learn from English text books so he would have learned Arabic.

I'm sure he's just been bumbling along genteelly until he accidentally threw that hammer at his wife.

Bunlicker

If you've ever been to a university lecture you will realise that they are not text-booked based. His course was not purely Arabic language, it was a three year course in Arabic and Islamic studies - that means, he focused on things like politics, customs and traditions, trade, food, geography etc. not just spoken Arabic.

You seem to think there is nothing more to Islam than a language.

In fact all of the "Arabic language" modules on the present day form of the course are optional. The languages focused on include Persian, Turkish, Indonesian ...

Bunlicker, there is quite a difference between the situation in Poland and the situation in Dubai. I'm not an expert ( so please correct me if I am wrong) but my understanding is:

a) while Arabic is the official language, it is not actually the most spoken language- that is English. When it comes to that, the majority of Dubai's population aren't Arabic either: they are ex-pats of one kind or another. It's what used to be known as a human melting pot.

b) the difference between spoken Arabic and written Arabic is far greater than between that between written Polish and spoken Polish, the difficulties of learning the script are far greater, and then there is the further complication that the written (and spoken) Modern Standard Arabic used in formal context is not the same as the language people on the street actually speak. Many university students have thrown themselves diligently into their language studies only to find that they can't actually understand a word anyone says to them. To do that, they need to learn the local (non-written) dialect.

So while it would be distinctly odd to learn Polish (or French or English) without simultaneously learning to read and write it to roughly the same standard, that is nowhere near as odd when it comes to Arabic.