I appear to be living in pigeon street

[bigmouthstrikesagain]

I am in the semi sticks, train station, rubbish bus service, surrounded by farms.

I am a fan of bird song in general, and a fan of birds. But I have developed a loathing of the cooing of fat wood pigeons. 4 fucking 30am I was wide awake with a sound track of loud cooing seemingly everywhere, we have velux window over my side of bed so the three hundred/dozen/million pigeons massing on our street were super loud.

I am veggie but started craving pigeon pie in the early hours along with contemplating the ownership of a bazooka or such like to destroy all fat pigeons... I find their fondness for flying at speed into our Windows and occasionally actually killing themselves that way irritating. Also how flappy they are and how boughs bend under their massive bulk is annoying. When I first moved here I was struck by how healthy they looked in comparison to manky footed, sooty city pigeons, but I soon realised they are just as stupid and pestilential as the city fuckers just fat and pretty.

Sitting here in the garden I am enjoying the twittering and cheeping from tits, chaffinches, sparrows and the like. We are also very fortunate to see Red Kites regularly. Magnificent and graceful. But the ruddy pigeons... Uh. Did I mention that due to the position of our bed in relation to the ground window a couple of years ago I went up to my room and was greeted with the right of a pigeon perched on the window sill. Back to me and are hanging over, it looked at me unconcerned, casually pooed on my bed then flapped off!

So pigeons are bastards, yes?

I've grown quite nostalgic for the country wood pigeons I grew up listening to as any near us now are drowned out by the nasty, massive, aggressively-baby-defending seagulls...

I love pigeons.

A stork couple had a nest near my parents' house. Romantic until you realise how big their shit is and that they drop the odd half-dead frog and snake (or bits thereof) in your garden.

@YokoReturns I bloody love(d) The Flumps! Must try to find it somewhere!

I think that Tom Lehrer had the right idea...

www.youtube.com/watch?v=yhuMLpdnOjY

The city version drive me mad. I found a pair roosting on top of the wardrobe in one of our bedrooms having flow in through the small gap at the top of an open sash window. Having got rid of them and drawn the curtains they then came back to roost on the top of the window instead. So despite the heat we can't open our windows by more than a few cm otherwise they'll be back in.

Albadross, seriously, a pigeon turned a tap on?
I'm honestly curious to see how they do that!
My mum has a couple of wood pigeons in her garden, I find them cute, but I'm only used to city pigeons. I can't believe they used to be all over Trafalgar Square! I remember my parents taking me there when I was little.

PS dislike city pigeons, just flying rats and poop.

I thought the same bishop

Are you Long Distance Clara OP?

At my mum's (abroad) the so called city pigeons actually come in the kitchen and eat the dog and cat food. Cat just watches them in disgust.

I get crows around me and I wasn't feeling particularly charitable when me and two year old son got woken up at 4:30 by it .

YANBU - pigeons are evil winged bastards from hell.

We have loads of them in the trees at the bottom of our garden and they crap everywhere, big fat gloppy crap it is too .

This year there are a pair in one of the trees that fly and and dive bomb me if I get too close (to my tree - feckers). I am seriously considering getting a cat.

But Flump you could get a cat like my mum's! So you won't just pigeons to annoy you, but the cat as well.

Error: the cat is unwilling to cat. Please proceed to catch the birds yourself.

I live by the seaside I dislike birds, I am not a fan of pigeons but I'd rather a hundred pigeons cooing than the overdramatising sound of seagulls, they crap all over the cars and dive bomb people.

mission they already do in Great Yarmouth seen many a chip snatched by the little buggers

I think theres either a pair nesting in the top of my chimney or one stuck in there. All i know is regularly a ton of debris comes clattering down hitting the fireplace and it sounds exactly like when we have hailstone.

My son has a wood pigeon living in his bedroom

You could become "Long Distance Clara" and drive across the Sahara! That would get you away for a bit...

Used to love Pigeon Street!

6 year old dd has a wood pigeon. It calls at the patio looking for her and will stay while she goes out and chucks him seeds ( which I HAVE to buy or he'll STARVE MUMMY ) he's called....Fatty. Totally angelic bird when dd is there, DH and I were recently treated to the rear end view live pigeon sex show 🤢. Fucking wood pigeon 😡

Slimthistime the tap is a lever thing you push down, it's quite loose. Stupid pigeon must've landed on it when it was flapping and panicking. Thank God it wasn't the hot tap as had been out for hours! Also shit everywhere

We have woodland to the side of us.

It's home to about a thousand crows. They are beautiful but oh so noisy. I barely hear the pigeons.

Albatross, oh that makes more sense! Sorry, that's a horrible thing to find when you get home.

I was just really puzzled picturing a pigeon balancing on one foot and switching taps on!!