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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU? I think i probably am but

36 replies

Bringitbackstingitback · 10/07/2017 07:51

I know I'm probably being unreasonable but I thought I'd double check.

We only have one car between us. My weekend job is 15 minutes away in the car. Dp has taken to taking me and picking me up from work on the weekends so he can have the car to take the kids out.

This is fine in principle I know it makes sense for him to use it rather than it left in the car park all day. Why is it really pissing me off? That time driving to and from work was my time to be alone and have some headspace before being on parent duty again and now its been taken away. I know I'm being unreasonable but argh!

OP posts:
TheGoodEnoughWife · 10/07/2017 07:52

Could you aim to get to work a bit early to get a coffee and have that headspace?

I know exactly what you mean. The travel time is the transition to work head/home head.

Original poster
Bringitbackstingitback · 10/07/2017 08:01

It's manic in work with people in and out and the tiniest staff room known to man so I don't think I would get much peace.

OP posts:
Jupitar · 10/07/2017 08:04

Could you walk part of the way? My quiet time is when I'm out walking the dog and I hate it when people offer to come with me 😃

JustifiedandAncient80 · 10/07/2017 08:07

Get a bicycle, bit of fresh air and some exercise

mohuzivajehi · 10/07/2017 08:11

Get him to drop you off and pick you up a 10 minute walk away - gives you some fresh air, exercise and a bit of heads pace.

temporarilyjerry · 10/07/2017 08:11

YANBU. I feel your pain. We used to have this arrangement. It wasn't too bad in the morning but there is very little down time in my job and by the end of the day, I just wanted some peace. DH was working alone all day and wanted to talk about roof tiles.

Original poster
Bringitbackstingitback · 10/07/2017 08:35

Walking part way might be an idea.

OP posts:
ConstanceCraving · 10/07/2017 08:38

It's unreasonable to expect him to be without a car all weekend whilst looking after the dc. Walking to work is a good idea, exercise plus time out.

Bluerose27 · 10/07/2017 08:42

Is there a coffee shop near work you could relax in before starting?

Original poster
Bringitbackstingitback · 10/07/2017 09:00

I'm without the car all week while he's in work looking after the Dc's he doesn't seem to mind about that.

OP posts:
Original poster
Bringitbackstingitback · 10/07/2017 09:01

I couldn't walk all the way, part of it is a nsl road with no pavements.

OP posts:
ConstanceCraving · 10/07/2017 09:05

Do you never have the car?

Original poster
Bringitbackstingitback · 10/07/2017 09:08

I only have the car when I'm going to work. I've got an afternoon/evening job in the week that I drive to. Other than that I never have it and if we want to go anywhere it has to be somewhere we can walk to or get the bus.

OP posts:
TwatteryFlowers · 10/07/2017 09:10

I'd be contemplating having two cars in your situation!

Quimby · 10/07/2017 09:14

"I'm without the car all week while he's in work looking after the Dc's he doesn't seem to mind about that."

Have you suggested dropping him off and picking him up from work every day?

Original poster
Bringitbackstingitback · 10/07/2017 09:16

I would love 2 cars but we can't afford it at the moment. He works too far away for me to drop him. It costs us a fortune in travel costs already so it would double.

OP posts:
ConstanceCraving · 10/07/2017 09:18

Does he work shifts? How does he get home if you've got the car for work in the afternoon?

Original poster
Bringitbackstingitback · 10/07/2017 09:22

No not shifts. He comes home and I go to work so we don't have to pay for childcare.

OP posts:
Original poster
Bringitbackstingitback · 10/07/2017 09:23

Sorry meant to say he comes home in the car and then I go to work in the car in the week. Weekends its just me working.

OP posts:
ConstanceCraving · 10/07/2017 09:25

Ah ok. In that case I think he should definitely have the car at weekends so he can take the dc out. How old are they? Do you get any down time?

diddl · 10/07/2017 09:27

Does he actually need the car every weekend?

Is he always taking the kids somewhere or is it sitting there just in case?

AlternativeTentacle · 10/07/2017 09:28

I'm without the car all week while he's in work looking after the Dc's he doesn't seem to mind about that.

'Dear, I love this new idea of the one at home taking the other to work so that they an have the car during the day instead of it sitting in a car park, what time are we leaving tomorrow morning?'

Original poster
Bringitbackstingitback · 10/07/2017 09:32

He does tend to take the kids out. They're 2 and 11 so no downtime with the toddler.

OP posts:
Allthebestnamesareused · 10/07/2017 09:37

It is a bit different though being at home after school and being at home all weekend.

During the school holidays why don't you take him in a couple of days so you do get the car in the day time however far his work is.

Quimby · 10/07/2017 09:41

"'Dear, I love this new idea of the one at home taking the other to work so that they an have the car during the day instead of it sitting in a car park, what time are we leaving tomorrow morning?"

But then the op would have to get up early and put up with driving/traffic

It's a clear enough one op. You're being unreasonable.
But it's just one of those irrational petty feelings we all get from time to time. Once you don't make an issue of it, it can just remain as one of those things that we all let ourselves get irrationally annoyed by.

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