I need to sneak time off work. Advice needed.

[KeepServingTheDrinks]

I had a dentist appointment a couple of weeks ago. He noticed something unusual in my mouth, which he told me about, and said he wanted to send me to have a cancer screening about to make sure it wasn't anything bad. And he gave me a lecture to say if he was making the referral, it was REALLY important i went along [which I guess is a thing about the NHS and costing them money on people missing appointments].
The thing is, half-an-hour later, I realized what it was.... I chew nicotine gum, and I've only been chewing it on one side because of toothache on the other side. I rang the dentist, but he still wants me to have anything more sinister ruled out. (do tongue biospy's hurt???)

Last Monday I said (all bright and breezy) to a colleague "how was your weekend?" and she said "fine" but looked a bit off, so I gave her a 'Paddington' stare, and said 'are you ok'. At which point she broke down. Very upset. She's had some kind of dodgy test, and has to have it checked out for cancer.

No one else at work knows except me. I don't want her to know about 'my' thing, because I know my 'thing' is a nothing. So I don't want to tell my work why I'm off, because she'll get to hear about it (she's on the senior management team, and they share information like staff absences).

I work in a school (not a teacher!). You're not allowed to take time off in term time without a good reason.

What should I do? Should I just lie? Should I tell the Head the truth and that someone on her senior team has a health anxiety that only I know about? (which kind-of is like a stealth boast IYSWIM???? )

I have to miss an important meeting to go to my stupid biopsy.

I'd just be matter of fact about it. "My Dentist has referred me to the hospital for some tests. The appointment is on .....I'll have to take ....off."

If they pry, "Does he think it is cancer?" just say, "He doesn't know but says I need to have the tests" . Although I don't think anyone would be that prying.

Tell your head the truth but say NO ONE else must know.

Book at towards the end of the day and tell the truth. Seems the most straightforward option.

You're behaving very strangely about this! Just tell your head? Do you think she'll tell this other lady who will think you're lying?!

Tell the truth but say you'd rather no one else knew. Unless the head is the one with the other health scare they're then obliged not to pass the info on.

Huh?
Your colleague had a cancer scare, why is that health anxiety?
What is the connection between her illness and yours? Don't get how they impact each other. Why would you tell SLT?
You don't have to say what your appointment is for, or you can say, by not be up for discussing it.
Or am I missing something that would make this all make sense?

Just ask for the time off. It is important. The school won't grind to a halt without you.

What happened OP? Is all OK?

Oh I totally understand what you mean. I work in a school and the gossip is terrible! Tell HR and your line manager the real reason and that you want it confidential. Make something up to tell everything else. Keep it relatively close to the truth so you won't get caught out later down the line but I don't blame you for wanting to keep it quiet for now. Hope everything is ok

OP what does your tongue look like? I've hurt my tongue with cinnamon gum and the taste buds on the side (I think) have swollen a bit.

Sorry to totally miss the point. I would just say a medical appt. People are fine with that usually.

OP I think you might be slightly in denial about your own health issues here. Please don't miss you appointment, they wouldn't refer you if there was no reason to. I don't say that to try to scare you but just that you take this seriously.
I think you may be afraid to tell.people as it will make you have to face a scary situation which is understandable

Look you've been referred for tests. Be honest.

Thanks to all the people on here who have me diagnosed with cancer - helpful not

My concern was that my colleague, who I'm everso fond of got weepy, and I didn't want her to know about me because I was worried she'd feel worse if she knew I had something of a similar nature hanging over me and hadn't mentioned it.

My school is maybe too gossip-y (not about the stuff around children!), but all comes from a good place of concern and supporting each other.

As it turns out, me and colleague were alone for a while today and talking about her, and I told her about me too.

Who has diagnosed you?!

Telling you that you cant be sure is "a nothing" until after you have had the tests is common sense.

Perhaps in your view it's unlikely that you have cancer. Perhaps you are correct. We don't know as we are strangers on the internet. All we have said is you should take this situation seriously. And no one has diagnosed you with anything. A trained professional is concerned about your health enough to tell you that you must have tests within the next two weeks. So I'm glad you've had the opportunity to talk to your colleague.

Urgent hospital appointment that can't be rearranged.

You don't need to say anything more. Stop making this into a drama.

I really don't understand the issue. You were thinking of missing a suspected cancer appointment in case it worried your colleague?

Your Dentist will have seen nicotine gum before, please do take their concerns seriously.

You sound very immature and unprofessional. Ref elect on how you have dealt with this situation. You have been referred to hospital for a follow up appointment - full stop.

Thanks to all the people on here who have me diagnosed with cancer - helpful not

Nobody has diagnosed you with cancer. They told you to go for tests so it can be ruled in or out.

Do you usually wilfully misinterpret ppl's posts?

Butchy. I wrote pretty much that post then decided to be more diplomatic. Op sounds in denial and immature, agreed. Being chronically ill myself, it takes a lot of humility to admit your limitations and that you're ill.

Butchy. I wrote pretty much that post then decided to be more diplomatic. Op sounds in denial and immature, agreed

See, I thought I was being more diplomatic by not calling her "immature".

I find if you keep info minimal and stick to that people don't ask. But I'm assuming you now don't have the problem because you've told your colleague?

Oops . You're right .

OP, you seem very much in denial about the severity of this and I cant say I blame you but please, please, just tell the head you have an urgent hospital referral and leave everyone else to sorting themselves out.